Before we get to the classic wrestling, I just wanted to make a couple of comments about today's wrestling. Can you believe the week that the WWF has had? The WWF served up two incredible shows, both highlighted by the Rock/Rikishi storyline, but both also being successful at elevating two young stars. Chris Jericho got the rub Monday night in an incredible battle with the Rock. Kurt Angle got the rub (not that he really needs it) Thursday night in a successful title defense against the Rock. The WWF is successfully elevating Jericho and legitimizing Angle's title reign, all while continuing to build the Rock/Rikishi/Austin story.

WCW, on the other hand, continues to dwell in mediocrity. The best that I can say about WCW is that it hasn't been sucking as badly as it used to. WCW had a great idea to bring Ric Flair back into the fold. Trying to focus on wrestling instead of the outside shit is a good idea, too. But WCW right now is going to be moving in baby steps. They aren't going to make any radical changes at this point. So we'll just have to keep our expectations for WCW as low as possible, and hope that WCW keeps NOT sucking as badly as they can.

But that's the Zippies, and that's not what I recap. I recap classic wrestling, specifically ESPN Classic's "Golden Age of Wrestling," and it is time to get to this thing! Let's see... two week's ago, we had a show from 1973. Last week, we had a show from 1980. So, of course, this week's show was recorded in 19..............................52! We are going WAY back here! This ought to be an interesting show, to say the least. So let's get to it!

We will need to be lost together here. I haven't heard of ANYONE in our first match, nor have I heard of our commentator, Russ Davis. So we'll just have to let the crowd give us hints as to who we should cheer for and who we should boo. And it sounds like all four men are heels, as we see Sky Hi Lee & The Sheik -vs- Rudy Kay & The Crusher Lisowski. Is this the original Sheik? Why are you asking me? I don't know this stuff, I just recap it! I can tell you that the Sheik has a multi-color turban on, and looks VERY young. So yeah, it could be the original Sheik.

We have the Crusher starting out against Rudy Kay. Lockup, into Kay and Sheik's corner. Sheik sneaks in a punch from outside the ring, but it really wasn't necessary, as Kay has firm control of the match. Tag into the Sheik, who comes in with some strutting, then a headlock, series of forearms in the ropes, another headlock, tag back to Kay. Sheik was pretty fast for these '50s bruisers. Tag back in, and Sheik has a headlock. Into the ropes, Lisowski nails Sheik coming off the ropes with a forearm, but then immediately falls victim to a cheapshot by Kay. Apparently, Lisowski forgot that he is fighting heels this week.

Back to the corner, and we go to commercial. Somewhere during now and then, I predict that the commentator is going to fall asleep... and I think he did, because we have four or five moves before Davis begins talking again. Lisowski in and on Lee with a headlock. Lisowski sorta looks like a skinny Andre the Giant; he even has the same sideburns! Sheik comes running into the ring to attack Lisowski, then secures a chokehold. Tag to Lee, who starts working over Lisowski with forearms. Lisowski powers out with a series of bodyblows. Into the ropes, Sheik pulls Lisowski off of Lee by the hair! Tag, double-team in the corner. Lisowski is in trouble, and the ref is pretty ineffective at keeping the two apart. Davis: "It's a big old mouth, isn't it?" as Sheik stretches Lisowski cheeks.

Tag to Lee, who walks right into a bear hug. (IDIOT! The bear hug was DEVASTATING in the 50s!) Lisowski is backing Lee towards his corner. Kay suggests that the referee say "Hi" to the Sheik; once the ref turns his back, Kay gets a shot in on Lee. And we go to commercial again. Oh, so it's going to be one of THOSE shows. Four minutes of wrestling, then three minutes of ads. I'm in for a LONG day... While we are waiting for these commercials to end, let me remind you once again to vote. I won't be voting on Tuesday, because Colorado has an early vote program. I voted (for Ralph Nader) Thursday. GO GREEN!

We are back, and Lee somehow has gotten away from Lisowski. Lee tries running around the ring, but Lisowski tackles him. Lisowski picks him up (after 30 seconds of looking goofy for no apparent reason) in the bearhug again. Lee working towards his corner, and makes the tag. Sheik back in, but now Lisowski has HIM in the bear hug. And look at the sell! Sheik already looks like Lisowski has killed him! Every time that the Sheik finally tries to break the hold, Lisowski punches him in the gut. Sheik pulls the hair, then takes Lisowski down with a pretty front nelson. Sheik covers, Lee holds down Lisowski's leg, and we have a count.. 1-2-no! Davis has completely given up on commentary; I am tempted to do the same. This match has all the quickness of cold molasses.

Lee is in on Lisowski. Quarter-nelson, tag to Sheik. Sheik with a front nelson full o' hair and has to break the hold. Sheik with a schoolboy and a handful of trunks, but only a two count. Lisowski reverses this, and is now CHOKING the Sheik! I notice that things speed up once the Sheik is actually in the ring. Hopefully, he'll stay in there for a while.

Sheik covers, but close enough to Lisowski corner for Rudy to get the tag. Lee takes the Sheik over with an armdrag, then locks in an armbar. (Funny how those holds go together.) Sheik tries to get up, only to catch an elbow between the eyes. Hey! Davis actually just tried to call a move. Way to go, Davis! We'll go to an Old Spice commercial to celebrate this bold move! Ways to tell that CRZ likes the power he has on this site a little too much: The words Ralph Nader linked to Harry Browne's website. (That must have...umm...been a mistake? ;-) - CRZ)

We are back, just as Sheik tags in Lee. Rudy immediately takes Lee down, then locks on a leg bar for grins. We are now 20 minutes into this match; we could edit this sucker down to 3 minutes and you wouldn't miss a thing. Lee trying to break out of the leg lock, but gets an elbow in the stomach for his hard work. Rudy is now in a very subtly homoerotic position, just for CRZ, I think. (Hippy. - CRZ)

Lee still trying to break out of the hold. He grabs a hand full of hair, which allows him to grab a body scissors. But an elbow to the gut once again puts an end to this. Rudy to his feet, Spinning Toe Hold! Amazingly, however, Lee isn't giving up. Oops! Rudy turned his back to the Sheik, so the Sheik politely pulls Rudy into the ropes! Rudy retaliates with a right to Sheik's face, but then catches a right from Lee. Hard into the turnbuckle by Lee. Tag to the Sheik, who is in for some forearms, then a fast, strong Irish Whip into the turnbuckles. SHIT! The ropes just broke! Now THAT was an Irish Whip! Rudy is on the mat, and he ain't moving. I think this is a work, and that Rudy is just doing a good job of selling. While Lisowski checks on his partner, the ring crew come in to fix the ropes. That was a pretty cool spot! I am now back into this match (if I ever was into this match; I don't remember now).

We get the match restarted, and Rudy is still selling. Sheik tosses him back to the mat, then locks on a modified surfboard, and gets the submission! (23:47) Oh, god, someone help me. That was the First Fall; we have two more falls to go! Please, please, PLEASE let this match only go two falls!

We are back from commercial break for fall #2. Sheik and Lisowski start off the match. Sheik quickly tags Lee, double-team takes down Lisowski. Lee and the Sheik have done a great job keeping their opponent in their corner of the ring. Even in the 50s, PSYCHOLOGY could be found in every match! Lee working Lisowski's legs, Ric Flair drop onto the knee! Now Lee has a standing legbar on Lisowski's left leg. Referee checks, and while he does, Lee grabs onto the Sheik for more leverage. (PSYCHOLOGY!) Lee tags in the Sheik, who is all over Lisowski's leg. Lisowski is basically just laying down on the mat so far; he sorta reminds me of Kevin Nash! HE FLIPPED HIS HAIR! HE IS KEVIN NASH!

Lisowski locks on the body scissors, but Lee breaks that up. Sheik drags Nash, er, Lisowski over to their corner, then tags in both Lee and a commercial break. I am trying to decide if this match would've been any more exciting in person. Probably, but not much more exciting. I gotta tell you, this match is a dog. But the ads we are getting this week are pretty cool. I gotta tell you, Philips is a company after my own heart. I want just about everything their consumer electronics department makes. Even the Tivo.

We are back, and Sheik is still working on Lisowski's leg. Tag into Lee, who lets Lisowski make the tag (IDIOT!). Rudy with a full nelson, takes him over to the corner so that Lisowski can nail Lee with a right. Cover, 1- STRONG kickout by Lee, almost taking out the referee. Rudy tries to cover, reversed, two count, reversed, one count, reversed, tag to Sheik. Rudy greets Sheik with a forearm to the chin; Sheik decides that it'd be better to approach this slowly.

Test of strength? Nah, Sheik backs out. Try it again? Same result. The crowd is really getting on the Sheik here; apparently they don't like no Arab cowards. Lockup, into the corner, Sheik takes him down with a forearm. Tries for a leglock, but gets taken down by Rudy. Back up, into the corner, shoulder smash (!) by Rudy. Again! Rudy picks up the Sheik.. holy shit, Spicoli driver? Oh, no, he's just bodyslamming him. What a strange position, though; he could hit a Driver from that position. Another strange bodyslam. And another. Rudy covers, and my prayers aren't answered this day as the (now)-faces get the pin. (7:18) The teams are now 1-1, we will have a third fall. And this match is going to take up most of the show, if not all of it.

Let's see... Colorado State kills BYU 45-21. Yet that still isn't good enough to get CSU into the AP top 25 (the Coaches poll, btw, has CSU ranked at #20). CSU just doesn't get any respect. Sorta reminds me of Lisowski, who will be starting out the third fall against Lee. Lee is trying to lure Lisowski into the heel corner; Lisowski starts heading there, but then backs away. Collar-and-elbow, Lisowski shoves Lee rudely into the corner. Lisowski with a headlock, then a nice knee smash. Headlock, knee smash. Lather, rinse, REPEAT. Front face lock, but lee fights out of it. Into the corner, and Lee unleashes a series of forearms. Break, Lee back in with forearms. Shoulder smash into the corner, and THE ROPES BREAK AGAIN! The ring crew tries to come in, but Lee starts CHOKING LISOWSKI WITH THE ROPES! Rudy comes in to try and break this up, Sheik comes in to get him some of Rudy, and we have pandemonium here. And we also have a double-DQ, to cap off this crappy match with a crappy finish. (36:01)

We come back from commercial just in time to see a wrestler doing a ballet dance in the ring. And the crowd absolutely HATES him for it. Now THIS is heel heat! This crowd would get up and lynch this guy, if they could! This guy, by the way, is Ricky Starr, who will battle Frank Fozo in our next match. God, Starr is actually wearing ballet slippers! Is this match booked by Vince McMahon Sr.? Starr does more warm-ups ballet-style, and continues pulling in the boos from the crowd. I now officially (heart) Ricky Starr. Say, do you think he's related to Ken Starr?

I digress. Let's get to the match, which Starr doesn't seem to be in a hurry to start. Starr keeps wiggling away from the ref as the ref tries to check Starr for foreign objects. Starr is now doing the classic "gay" pantomine, waving his arms in a limp-wristed way. The bell rings, Starr goes piouretting towards Fozo. Starr back in towards Fozo, limp-wristed slap! Fozo tries to attack, but Starr glides out of the way. Starr now crab-walking towards Fozo, who immediately jumps out of the ring! Fozo can't tell what to do, and is really frazzled by Starr. This is a textbook example of PSYCHOLOGY!

Fozo finally locks up with Starr. Headlock, punch to the top of the head. Forearm, into the ropes, Starr with another limp-wristed slap. And Starr shakes off his hand, like the slap hurt. HA! Lockup, SWEET fireman's carry takeover by Starr. Back to their feet, a series of limp-wristed slaps by Starr. And we go to commercial. Damn, this match is HYSTERICAL! This match is nicely taking the yucky taste left in my mouth by that last match.

We are back, and Starr is sauntering over towards Fozo. Fozo with a full nelson, Star goes down on his knees. Reverse, Starr around the back, then slaps Fozo on the ass! HAHAHAHA! Back up to their feet, snap mare (!). Starr comes back with a limp-wristed right which hurts his hands. I think that Starr is starting to win over the crowd! Graceful leap onto Fozo's back. Rear chin lock on Fozo's back. Starr with a single leg trip. Starr spanking Fozo! And the crowd is DEFINITELY cheering for Starr now!

Fozo tries for a lockup, but Starr leaps out of the way. Front facelock by Fozo, into the ropes, Starr comes off with a number of toe-steps. Fozo backs way the hell off. Star with a schoolboy, but Fozo is in the ropes. Starr spanks Fozo, then breaks.

Back into the center of the ring, headlock by Fozo. Starr goes down, then grabs Fozo in a head scissors. Break, but Starr grabs it again. Starr on his feet, still has Fozo in the head scissors. Dance move, spin. Both men to their feet. Fozo Irish Whips Starr into the ropes, Starr with a body press, but Fozo isn't going down... yes he is. Only a two-count though. Back to their feet, Starr glides out of an attempted takedown. Starr picks Fozo up for a half-hour bodyslam, but Fozo's weight takes Starr down. Only a one-count.

Fozo with a front facelock. Irish Whip, Fozo nails him with a high knee off the ropes. Into the ropes again, Starr cartwheels over a back bodydrop attempt, bounces once, then nails a pretty standing dropkick on Fozo's chin. Starr covers, and gets the three count! (7:31) Starr also gets a HUGE pop from the crowd! What a great performance; Starr was able to get the crowd to completely change their opinion on him. We just saw a face turn! Fozo turns his back on Starr, so Starr skips over to Fozo and slaps him on the back of the head! Fozo chases Starr out of the ring, but its all over, and the crowd still loves Starr! And we are OUT!

Here is a secret that the WWF learned well long ago: send people home from a show happy, and they'll forget about a lot of crappiness during the show itself. That's sorta what happened here. We had a 35 minute piece of crap for our first mach, but that 7 minute gem featuring Ricky Starr. That seven minutes was almost enough to forgive the crappiness of the first 35.

I am outta here, everyone. Have a wonderful week!