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CLASSICS RECAP.
Originally aired in March 1988
We emanate from the home of the Topeka Sizzlers basketball team, in
Topeka, Kansas. What a crappy name. I hate basketball anyway, what sort
of sport is it when it's a surprise when you don't score on every other
attempt?
The shiny WWF logo is the symbol of excellence in Sports Entertainment,
you know like that WorldCom logo is the symbol is excellence in
communications.
Bobby Heenan and Gorilla Monsoon are on hand to welcome us, and once
again, the crowd are all over Bobby the Brain.
Moooooooooooooooooooooontage!
This Week: A live interview with Hulk Hogan, Greg Valentine, The British
Bulldogs, A WMIV Special Report, and Ron Bass.
British Bulldogs Vs Terry Gibbs and 'Iron' Mike Sharpe is our first
match. Gibbs and Davey Boy start. Gibbs headlock is broken, and we're
into a criss-cross, Davey leapfrogs Gibbs and then he armdrags him FOUR
times, the final one being into an armbar. Dynamite comes in with a nice
fireman's carry/northern lights suplex deal, which confuses the hell out
of Gorilla. Gibbs grabs another headlock, but it's broken again, and the
Kid pulls off an armdrag into an armbar. Sharpe manages to tag in and is
immediately clotheslined out of his boots for 2. Davey is back in and
survives an eye rake and a punch, to duck a clothesline and come back off
the ropes with a crossbody (!) for 2. Another armbar, and the Kid is
tagged back in for a double shoulderblock, and his snap suplex only fails
to get the win because Sharpe's foot is on the rope. Davey returns with a
snapmare, and then a rear chin lock into a sleeper, which pops the crowd!
Gibbs tries to stop this with a double axe handle off the top, but only
succeeds in creaming Sharpe. Davey dropkicks a crestfallen Gibbs out of
the ring, and brings Kid in for the finish. Sharpe is whipped to the
buckle, and after he collapses Davey drops Dynamite onto 'Canada's
noisiest man' for a headbutt and the win. The crowd go NUTS! 1 for 1.
What a good match. Not just in the 'it's a good match for Challenge way',
but an honest to God good match.
Craig DeGeorge's special report is NOW! Craig thoroughly runs down the
card, and Slick asks if One Man Gang and Butch Reed fraught, who would
win? The Slickster of course!
Buy Wrestlemania tickets - or we'll lock Mene Gene in a room with your
daughter!
Robin Leech advises us to watch Wrestlemania.
Greg Valentine Vs SD Jones. The commentators discuss how SD is from
Antigua, prompting Heenan to declare 'I may buy his island and kick him
off it!' Hahahaha! Valentine with a beautiful drop toe hold to begin
with. When on the ground Greg works into a sort of side on surfboard, and
then into an Indian Death lock. Valentine then drops a knee to the thigh,
before leaving the legs to work in some punches and chops, and then a
snapmare. Valentine goes up top (WHAT!) but gets caught on the way down.
SD begins an onslaught of punches and patented headbutts. Jones can't do
better than those moves, as he misses an elbowdrop, receives a fistdrop
and gets nutted in the groin. Valentine then wastes no more time in
putting on the figure 4, and in turn SD wastes no time in submitting. 1
for 2. Not quite enough for a point, because SD was a bit lackadaisical.
Strong showing from Greg however.
Craig DeGeorge interviews Jim Duggan. All Duggan has to scream is that
the opportunity to be WWF champion 'Is close!'
Craig was previously with Ted DiBiase, and the Minted One claims that
Duggan is a fool and at WM it'll be his (DiBiase's) day.
Watch WM - or we'll do that fucked up teeth on the kerb 'American
History X' thing, on you!
Vanna White declares that 'We'll all be lucky at Wrestlemania!'
The Ragin' Racist Don Muraco Vs Rick Renslow, is what awaits us back in
the ring. A collar and elbow tie-up leads to a big Muraco push-off.
Renslow tries two shoulderblocks, but both are no-sold. Muraco with a
hiptoss, a clothesline, and a kneelift before a headlock takedown. The
onslaught continues with a dropkick and a snapmare, followed by two of
those Curt Hennig neck snap things, before the Muraco's Tombstone finishes
things. 1 for 3. Not great. Renslow sucks.
Scott Casey Vs Ron Bass. The battle of Texas is up NOW! Casey
surprises Bass with a crossbody off the top on the bell. Casey follows up
with two bad looking flying head scissors and a sunset flip for 2. Bass
regains control with a whip into a belly to belly suplex, but then misses
an elbowdrop. Casey lands a dropkick, but the second one misses. Bass
then catches Casey with a sort of powerslam thing for 2. Two whips to the
corners gets followed up with a slam and two elbowdrops to pick up Casey
on 2. Bass then pulls out the HHH choke, but favours a swinging neck
breaker over the Pedigree for his finish. The ref counts to 3. 1 for 4.
Pretty poor showing there by both men.
Craig DeGeorge interviews the Honky Tonk Man, who says nothing of
interest.
Craig was previously with HTM's opponent at WM, Brutus Beefcake. Brutus
promises that after the event, he'll have a belt around his waist, and a
lock of hair on his wall.
Watch Wrestlemania - Or we'll force you to talk to that annoying
Democrat woman from the McLaughlin Group!
Bob Eucker (I still can't spell it) won't say everyone has a price for
the Million Dollar Man - until Ted lubricates his tongue with some cash!
Dino Bravo Vs Gary Jackson. French croaks in French that Dino Bravo
will be World champ in 1988. I'm bilingual. Dino punches and chops to
start. A slam and an elbowdrop gets 2. An atomic drop and two kicks lead
to a Piledriver and then a NASTY side suplex, where Jackson gets badly
folded up. Bravo picks up on 2, but then realises its time to go home, as
he plants his sidewalk slam, and gets the win. 1 for 5. I WISH Bravo
would let his jobbers get SOME offence.
For the Craig DeGeorge stage interview this week, he got none other than
the Hulkster. The crowd are way into Hogan. Hulk says that to beat him,
you've got to beat the prayers and the vitamins. Also if Andre couldn't
beat him (fairly) before, then how could he do it now, when Hulkamania is
at its strongest? He won't Hulky, but you'll still go out.
Wrestlemania IV Special Report:
Some Battle Royale participant quotes. The Harts and Danny Davis say they
don't care which one of the three of them win, while the Young Stallions
are excited and gay.
With regard to his match The Warrior screams that he lives for the anger
and frustration that inside Hercules, while Herc retorts that the Ultimate
Warrior will meet his Ultimate doom.
Concerning the tag team title match Strike Force want Demolition what
they'll do to them and not the other way around, and the Demos counter
with the fairly obvious statement that they won't be hard to find. Ax IS
pretty fat.
Craig then shows us the title tournament brackets, and Jake Roberts breaks
out his 'attitudes' promo AGAIN! I've heard that, like 3 times now.
Jesus. Fucking pisshead...
Order tickets for Wrestlemania - or we'll make you analyse the Rick
Martel/Jake Roberts blindfold match!
The Young Stallions Vs George Petraski and Tom Stone. Stone and Roma
start off. Stone lands some knees, but Roma whips him into the ropes,
performs two leapfrogs and grabs an armbar. Powers comes in and the
Stallions perform a double back elbow, and then go back to the armbar.
Stone breaks with a forearm, but is then leapfrogged, and armdraged into
an armbar. Stone gets out and delivers a slam, before tagging out to
Petraski, who immediatally misses an elbowdrop and is caught in an armbar.
Roma comes in and the Stallions get a double armbar. Powers goes up top
to deliver a double axe handle and get his own armbar. Down on the ground
Powers drops a leg on the injured arm. Roma takes his turn to come down
with a double axe handle off the top rope. Powers unleashes a drop toe
hold while Roma drops an elbow. Powers is tagged back in, and he breaks
out a powerslam for 3. 2 for 6. The Stallions really are just Strike
Force light, but that's no bad thing.
Craig DeGeorge stands with Hercules, who appears to have contracted
verbal diarrhoea from working with Ultie. The gist is that he's seen fear
in the Warrior before, and will again.
Craig's got the Warrior with him now. Craig says Herc has old scars,
but nothing can repair the damage that he's going to do.
Watch Wrestlemania - or we'll book Diesel Vs Mabel main events in 7
years time!
Next Week: The Islanders, Butch Reed, Randy Savage and Jake Roberts.
We're out.
Overall: A fairly boring show, but that Bulldogs match was outstanding.
If I were watching this at the time, I'd be really up for Wrestlemania,
which I suppose I the point. Two weeks till the big event. Catch up on
all the exciting info when you join me next week. Join me.
Ian Mowat
[slash] wrestling
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