Main
BLAH |
CLASSICS RECAP.
Originally aired in March 1988.
The shiny WWF logo is the symbol of excellence in sports entertainment.
Beeyotch!
We are RECORDED from the Viking Hall in Bristol, Tennessee, in what
appears to be a tiny arena. Manager of said arena (Terri Smith) is proud
to welcome the WWF, its fans, and their money.
Bobby 'the grey matter' Heenan, and Gorilla Monsoon welcome us to the
show.
Montage is so old and boring. Can you hear me snoring, while your mum
is hoaring?
This Week: Randy Savage, Million Dollar Man and Andre the Giant live
interview, Jake Roberts, The Islanders and a Wrestlemania IV Special
Report.
Brian Costello Vs Randy Savage. Savage comes out to a huge pop. They
should think about putting the title on him you know. A collar and elbow
tie-up is broken on the ropes and Costello takes Savage's head to the
buckle twice, before Randy turns the tide with the same move. Costello is
then choked on the rope, given a punch and an elbow, which gets Savage a 1
count. Savage throws the jobber out of the ring, clubs him, and then
snapmares him back into the ring. Back in there is a slam to set up the
Big Elbow, which of course gets the easy 3. 0 for 1. A very
disappointing match for Savage, I'm sure he must just be protecting
himself for Wrestlemania.
Craig DeGeorge Special Report. Craig talks of the wrestling and the
mania to come. Of the 20-man Battle Royale JYD 'It's the best thing to
have happened since my Momma gave birth to me!' and Harley Race '19 men
will bow and beg' add their crappy two pence worth.
Watch Wrestlemania - because if the buy rate's poor we'll keep the
title on Hogan FOR EVER!
Koko B. Ware and the British Bulldogs tell us that they are happy to
have Frankie back after Bobby Heenan stole him and he'll be at
Wrestlemania. WHEN THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN! There's hardly anything
happens angle wise, and they just didn't tell the Challenge crowd about
this one. Uh?
The Islanders Vs Dave Stoudemere and Mark Young. Tama and Young kick
off. Tama with knees to the midsection and a whip of Young to the corner,
but Young is up onto the second rope, and comes off with an impressive
twist into a sunset flip. Off the ropes and Young lands a crossbody for a
1 count. Tama tags out and Haku unloads with a punch, and then into a
headlock and once he's pushed out of that comes with a shoulderblock.
Tama is back in with a chop and a slam, but his elbowdrop misses. Young
tags out, and his partner grabs an armbar, but Tama fights out with an eye
rake and a back rake. Haku comes in for a double headbutt. Stoudemere is
shot to the ropes and gets his head accidentally caught between the top
and second ropes. That was painful and its because the ropes were way too
loose. Haku gives Stoudemere a backbreaker and then tags Tama in for the
big splash and the win. 0 for 2. Not bad but not great. The ring crew
should be shot though.
Mene Gene with Brutus Beefcake. Brutus says at Wrestlemania it'll be
all over but the cryin' at Wrestlemania. Previously he had Honky who said
that he had a day to tune each of the strings on his guitar for Beefcake.
Watch Wrestlemania - Or we'll make it so that you won't have to wonder
if Kevin Kelly has Ginger Pubes or not!
Slick and Bob Eucker do another tragically bad piece of 'comedy'.
Hercules Vs Reno Riggins. Why do I know Riggins? What has he done?
Do I just think I know him because he sounds like Scotty Riggs? E-mail me
please. It's pissing me off. Anyway, Riggins's head is taken off the
turnbuckle, and then he's thrown to the mat. A slam, and a snapmare are
next from Herc. He misses an elbowdrop, but that will not faze the mighty
Hercules! He's up with a right and an elbow, followed by a weird
choke-come-armbar thing. Herc throws Riggins out of the ring and when he
returns a massive clothesline awaits him. After that the torture rack
makes the finish academic. 0 for 3. Standard Hercules match
Mene Gene hangs out with Strike Force, who tell us that they're not
scared of Demolition, and the Demos (separately) where Ax promises 7 more
nights of nightmares for Strike Force, and that if they don't turn up for
the match Demolition will come round their house and beat them up. I love
Ax.
Watch Wrestlemania - Or we'll choppy choppy your pee-pee!
Vanna White wonders what she'll wear at Wrestlemania. BRA AND PANTIES!
(Shut up Jerry).
Mike Richards and Eric Cooper Vs Butch Reed and One Man Gang. Before
the action Bobby and Gorilla both agree that if Gang and Reed met in the
World Title tournament then Gang would win. Way to make Reed look like a
threat boys. Cooper and Reed start. Cooper gets a headlock but is thrown
off, he comes back with some rights but is cut off with a punch to the gut
by Reed, who then stomps away and takes the jobbers head off the boot of
Gang. Gang is tagged in and delivers some clubs and a choke on the top
rope, which Reed takes over on the outside. Reed comes in and throws
Cooper to tag in Richards, which he duly does. Richards gets punched and
takes a facebuster, a clothesline and then a succession of short, quick
rights as the commentators discuss the future possibility of Brutus
Beefcake having to have his face re-arranged in the future. 'I'm gonna do
you a favour. I'm gonna re-arrange your face!' Sid Justice - 1992.
Spooky. Back in 1988, Gang is tagged in and wastes no time in delivering
the Dominator, which is sold very well by Richards. 0 for 4. Three of
the workers in here were performing nicely, guess which one wasn't.
Jake Roberts Vs Tom Stone. Jake grabs an armbar straight off, but lets
go when Stone gets to the rope. They trade blows - Stone with punches,
Jake with elbows. Stone grabs an armbar that Jake tries to armdrag out
of, but Stone holds on. Eventually Stone is pushed off the ropes and is
given a hiptoss. Jake holds control with a kneelift, and then works the
knee with an elbow and a headbutt. Stone tries to kick off as Jake
stretches his leg and manages to avoid a Jake elbowdrop. Stone then lands
some forearms, but is caught with a short-arm clothesline, which Jake
follows with DDT for the easy win. 1 for 5. Some very nice mat wrestling
in there as Jake tried to get out of the armbar and Stone held on. Looked
utterly different from most matches on Challenge.
It's time! It's time! It's Craig DeGeorge stage interview time! It's
with Ted DiBiase and Andre the Giant. What? I've seen this interview
like a million times! The usual ensues with Ted saying that the
Hulkamorons have no faith in Hogan anymore and Andre promising that after
Mania they'll still be calling Hogan an ex-champ.
Wrestlemania IV Special Report. With Okerlund this week.
Gladys Knight and the Pips will sing America the Beautiful. How
much would the current WWE crowd shit all over that?
Jim Duggan says he's only focused on DiBiase.
Don Muraco states that he'll be a new challenge for Bravo.
Greg Valentine, in a delicious pun, tells us that he'll sink
Ricky's boat.
Randy Savage asks Liz if he's ready and she seems to think so.
Robin Leech helpfully informs us that the whole world will be
watching.
Watch Wrestlemania - we promise that we won't cancel any great matches
you might be looking forward to, not like Edge and Jericho.
Some fans say that they'll be watching Wrestlemania on CCTV. What a
great idea! Maybe I should do that? Hmmmmm.
Bam Bam Bigelow Vs Terry Gibbs. Gibbs in control at the start with an
eye rake, a bite, a chop and some rights. The Bammer eventually has
enough of this and starts hiptossing and throwing Gibbs about. Bam Bam
with the falling headbutt, a slam and a kneedrop. Gibbs back up, but
Bigelow has a headbutt, an elbow to follow. Next comes a whip to the
buckle and a Stinger Splash followed by the diving headbutt for 3. 1 for
6. That was fairly poo.
Craig De George talks with Hogan who blabs generic stuff about beating
Andre and winning the tournament.
Watch Wrestlemania - Come on! Ken Patera's on the card!
Next week: Strike Force, Jim Duggan, The final Wrestlemania IV Special
Report, Rick Rude, and a live interview with Hogan.
The show then closes with the finishers of Savage, Tama and Bam Bam.
End.
Overall: Almost everything sucked dick this week. The Jake Roberts match
was good, and so was Ax's interview. Everything else was between average
and awful. One more of these holding shows until Wrestlemania. Join me
for that next week. Join me.
Ian Mowat
[slash] wrestling
Mail the Author
Comment about this article in Wienerville
|
BLAH |
