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EMLL Lucha Libre by Paul Garcia |
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MainBLAH |
Before I even begin, here is a link to a great primer on lucha
libre. Read it if you're new to
the various rules of lucha and so on.. Ok, just as a quick sidenote, this is my first time doing this, so I'm asking for e-mails that can help me to see what it is exactly that you guys want.. don't be afraid to send one along, anything, even if it's a rip will come to help my recaps in the future. The show begins with clips detailing some of tonight's participants which include Los Hermanos Dinemitas, Atlantis, Dr. Wagner Jr. and so on.. The preshow hype cuts away and the opening credits roll. Alonso Morales greets us, gives us a quick rundown on the current going ons, and sends us straight into some.. -Commercials. Fuerza Guerrera vs. Emilo Charles Primera Caida(1st Fall) Match opens with Fuerza curiously hanging about the entranceway. Cue Emilo's cheesy Ranchero entrance theme, and out he jogs unaware of that sneaky rudo bastard, Fuerza. Fuerza sneaks up from behind, hits a punch that floors Emilo, and then proceeds to kick and beat Emilo around the arena. Fuerza, after administering a decent beating, finally decides to take the action to the ring. Hammer throw into the turnbuckle that Emilo sells like he was just hit in the back by a sledgehammer. Fuerza taunts the crowd, Charles struggles to his knees. Alfonso Ribera(ref) scurries over and tries to help Emilo remove his snazzy little silver sequins entrance jacket, but as he's doing this Fuerza turns his attention back over to Charles and fires off a stiff little kick to Emilo's abdomen. Fuerza continues the rudo beatdown by dragging Emilo's carcass out of the ring, just leaving his feet hooked to the lower rope, and repeatedly bashing his head against the apron. Fuerza poses, spits and then,,, HEY! Back to the in ring action(fucking horrible editing job right there). Short range lariat by Fuerza ducked, charges back in, tilt a whirl slam by Charles! Fuerza stumbles back up, Emilo w/ a hard slap to the chest that sends Fuerza tumbling out of the ring. Emilo follows, stiff slap to the chest, another.. Emilo starts prancing around in a boxing stance, almost gesturing "bring it!"(something like that..give me a damn break ;) ) Fuerza cocks his head up, begging for forgiveness. Emilo responds with another patented slap to the chest.They continue around the ring, Rivera demanding that they get back in the ring... Emilo ignores him, ref grabs a hold of his hair! Fuerza, sensing an opening, rushes in with a kneelift FOUL~! Back in the ring we go... hammer throw by Fuerza, Emilo off the ropes, Fuerza lifts him up, then drives his knee right into the family jewels( Like a Manhattan Drop or inverted atomic drop.. it's usually more of a spinebuster with a foul, but not this time). The ref misses it, standing senton and cover by Fuerza who takes the first fall. -Replay recounts the foul from various angles and in slow mo.. Ok, onto the.. Segunda Caida(2nd fall): A pissed off Emilo backs Fuerza into s corner. Fuerza drops to his knees and covers his head in a "please don't hurt me" pose.. The ref intervenes, and Emilo being the all around dumbfuck turns his attention over to him. He fakes a punch at the ref, and Fuerza takes advantage of the distracted Emilo by connecting with a punch to what looks to be Emilo's lower back.. Of course, Emilo grabs the back of his thigh. Moron. Anyways, Fuerza is back on offense and basically dominating Emilo with rudo tactics. Faceslam(not seated like the Konnan/X-Pac version) by Fuerza. Two chest slaps abd a headbutt follow, and Charles is now hanging off the apron. Fuerza lifts him up and begins to bite Emilo.'s forehead. Ok, Emilo ends up back on offense when he dodges a running boot to the stomach while on the apron. He drops Fuerza with a slap to the chest, charges in, MONKEY FLIPS Fuerza over. Fuerza up, charges in, QUEBRADORA~! by Emilo. Fuerza up AGAIN, a dropkick by Emilo sends him out of the ring. Emilo off the ropes, feigns his trademark tope.. he hits the apron, runs and hits a flying THESZ PRESS! Back in the ring, Emilo drops Fuerza with a spinebuster. He gazes at the crowd, which means it can only be time for a goofy ass lucha submission. Yep, Emilo wraps Fuerza up in what can only be described as a semi-figure four, chickenwing/necklock. Fuerza taps and Emilo takes the 2nd fall. -Commercials Tercera Caida(3rd fall): We are joined in progress for the 3rd fall. Fuerza hits a body slam, mugs for the crowd, and then takes his sweet time ascending the turnbuckle. Emilo is up and over in a flash, and catches Fuerza up top.. TOP ROPE ARM DRAG! Cover by Emilo, 1,2..shoulder up. Emilo follows it up w/ an abdominal stretch that he rolls up into a pin attempt. 1,2,no. He goes to pick Fuerza up, FOUL~! That keels Emilo over.. Somoan Slam(Fireman's Carry Slam) by Fuerza, another standing senton, covers...1..2..kickout. Fuerza argues about the slow count. Hammer throw, back bodydrop, cover, another 2 count. Argues about a slow count once again.. Fuerza moves over, picks Emilo up for an avalanche slam, but Emilo rolls through and pins Fuerza with a small package!! 1,2,3! Emilo Charles nets the victory. -Commercials Ricky Santana/Pieroth Jr./Gran Markus Jr. vs. El Brazo de Plata, "Super Porky"/ Headhunter 1/Headhunter 2 Markus, Porky Headhunters 1 and 2... Four of the aboslute FATTEST pieces of shit roaming the earth today. All four find their way into this match.. ugh. Primera Caida(1st fall): Ok, here we go. Porky and Pieroth start this baby out. Porky with a back bodydrop, He follows it up with a high kick, Pieroth catches the leg, Porky counters with the enzui giri! Ass bump by Porky sends Pieroth out of the ring. Porky and Santana square off.. wait, the match is clipped and we return to see Markus and Santana ganging up on one of the Headhunters. HH ? breaks up the double back bodydrop by slamming both of the rudo's faces into the mat. Pieroth in, eats a bitch slap from HH ?. HH ? off the ropes, BIG SPLASH on Santana and Markus! Umm.. the other HH enters the ring, double Vader Attacks by Los Headhunters on Markus. Markus to the floor, Porky in, splits the 2 Headhunters and hits a TOPE on Markus! Back int the ring, Santana is getting pummeled by Los Headhunters.. Double shoulderblock, see ya Ricky. Pieroth in, sandwiched by The HHs. Cover by HH uh.. anyways, the technicos( Porky, Los HHs) take the 1st fall. Various replays follow and then we are brought to la segunda caida.. Segunda Caida(2nd fall): Markus starts off against Porky.I swear, at this point the match looks like it's running at half speed.. Chops by Markus, hammer throw, reversed by Porky. Follows it up with a running corner splash. Markus crumples to the mat and is now slouched up against the turnbuckle. Porky prances back, JOGS towards Markus and hits El Bronco Buster~! Really hilarious considering Porky is like 5'4" and over 300 lbs. Santana comes in, begins wiping the mat with Porky. Porky makes a comeback and now has Santana wedged up against the turnbuckle.. Pieroth in, fires off some strikes. With each one, Porky THRUSTS forward. Looks really, uh... strange. Oh, and by the way.. Porky had an enormous grin on his face all while this was going on.. ok, after Porky finishes *ahem* business, he turns and drops Pieroth with a harsh bitch slap. HH #1(thanks Magadan!) in.. Rudos beat him down. Ok, all out brwal ensues, with the rudos taking it to the technicos.. One of the HH's is wrapped up in the ropes allowing Santana to hit a few running head rams to the gut on the man with the enormous girth. Pieroth with a low blow on Porky, pins him and that's that. The rudos continue the pummeling all the way until the beginning of the.. Tercera caida( 3rd fall): Ok, beatdown continues... After a bit, things finally get settled back into the one on one matchups.. Pieroth again takes on Porky. Off the ropes, sunset flip by Pieroth, Porky resists, drops down with his sitdown splash! 1..2..kickout by Pieroth. A bit after Porky misses a corner splash, picked up by Pieroth, Porky uses his weight to fall on top of Pieroth.. 1.. Markus and Santana in to break it up. The Headhunter's are in, they charge and sandwich both Markus and Santana. Vader Attacks send both men tumbling out.. The Headhunters fake a plancha, step onto the apron and hit flying Vader Attacks to the floor on Markus and Santana respectively! Back in the ring, we see Porky take Pieroth out with a corner splash. Porky turns and accidentally bumps the ref! Pieroth, taking advantage of the downed ref, fakes a FOUL.. Porky protests, but to no avail, and the rudos are awarded the win! -Commercials. We return to see Mr. Niebla lifting weights in some gym... SHOCKER steps in, basiaclly says that he thought he would find him here, and starts to beat on Niebla.. he gets Niebla down and steps on his throat.. he says a bunch of stuff, that he's going to destroy Niebla, is the rudo of the millenium and so on.. it ends when two guys rush in and restrain SHOCKER. Mr. Mexico(Miguel Angel Guzman, former IWRG Niebla)/ SHOCKER/ Dr. Wagner Jr., escorted by El Esquadron de la Muerte vs. Negro Casas/El Hijo del Santo/ Mr. Niebla Pre-match: Mr. Niebla and SHOCKER talk trash and almost come to blows. Primera Caida(1st fall): This fall starts off with Mr. Niebla(technicos) taking on Mr. Mexico( "imposter" Niebla from IWRG that lost his hood to the original Niebla a few weeks back). They stall and then Mr. Mexico rushes in with some chops. The match is clipped and we go to Wagner squaring off with Casas. Casas runs in, Wagner counters with a twisting powerslam. He follows it up with a kick to Casa's chest. Wagner taunts the crowd, then rushes in with a series of chops, follows up with a hammer throw, back bodydrop, no, Casas stops short and fires off a kick to Wagner's face. He shoots out with another kick, leg caught by Wagner DRAGON SCREW LEGWHIP! Wagner picks Casas up, back down he goes with a bodyslam. Wagner ascends the turnbuckle, looks like he's going for a moonsault(which is odd considering this is Wagner), predictably gets caught up top by Casas. Casas sets Wagner on his shoulders, heads over to his corner where Santo awaits on the turnbuckle.. he leaps off, DIVING NECKBREAKER by Santo! Mr. Niebla hits the ring, and hits Wag with a in ring quebrada. Santo hits a surprise hurrancanrana on SHOCKER to take him out, Casas rolls Wagner up with La Casita(la magistral) and Niebla eliminates Mr. Mexico with a spinebuster and then twists him up into la Neblina! Technicos take the 1st fall. Segunda Caida(2nd fall): Only the ending is aired. SHOCKER pins Negro Casas with the falcon Arrow while Mr. Mexico makes Niebla submit with a Scorpion Deathlock/abdominal stretch combo.. Tercera Caida(3rd fall): This fall opens up with Mr. Mexico chopping the hell out of Niebla on the floor.. in ring we see Wagner attempting to pull Santo's mask off. Hammer throw by Wagner, countered with a sunset flip by Santo. Wagner tries to stay on his feet, but a pounding Riki Lariat by Casas proves otherwise. Wagner kicks out at one. Mr. Mexico steps in and catches Casas in an octopus hold. Niebla breaks it up with a slap to the back of the head. Mexico rolls out, here comes SHOCKER. Big Slap by Niebla, rolls SHOCKER up and gets a quick 2. Both men back up, forearm shot by SHOCKER, followed up by a powerbomb. Niebla wriggles free at 2.75. Niebla up, stumbles over to SHOCKER, and catches him with a Northern Lights Suplex. 1...2..kickout. A bit later, SHOCKER regains control and sets Niebla up to be hit with a Hot Shot by Wagner. Ok, both men continue this back and forth action.. here comes Casas and Mr. Mexico. Mexico is taken out by both technicos. SHOCKER now tossed out. Here comes Niebla, fakes the tope, steps on the apron..and.. the damn camera cuts away. Back in the ring, Wagner is taking care of Santo. Santo with a burst of energy hits a back bodydrop and then a diving tope off the top. Santo attempts to lock on the camel clutch but Wagner stands up and blocks the move.. he goes back and drives Santo's back into the turnbuckle.. he sets him up top, climbs up.. ACE CRUSHER OFF THE TOP! He follows it up with the Wagner Driver '98(Michinoku Driver II), that Santo sells like he's dead. It looks like this ends the match.. Santo gets attended to while the announcers contemplate on whether the move qualifies as a "martinete"(move that drives an opponent headfirst into the mat..ex. tombstone) which are illegal in Mexico. Morales interviews Casas. -Commercials. Momentos Estelares(Highlights/stellar moments) "Lo Admirable"- A Rencor Latino missle kick on Super Kendo chained into a German Suplex by Virus. " El Rudo"- Violencia(who's a big guy) nailing a sweet slingshot tope con hilo on Astro rey Jr. after shoving him off the turnbuckle to the otuside. " La Combinacion"- Double le pickup on Antifaz Del Norte by Scorpio Jr. and Bestia Salvaje, followed up by a springboard missle dropkick by Zumbido. Double elbowdrop by Scorp and Salvaje ensues, capped off with a spinning elbowdrop from Zumbido. " El Castigo"- A PHATASS top rope senton bomb by Bestia Salvaje on Olimpico. -Promo with Atlantis follows.. just shows him showing off with some dolphins, doing tricks with them and such. - Commercials The Puerto Rico angle continues.. boring stuff if you ask me. Villano III/Cien Caras/Universal Dos Mille(2000) vs. Atlantis/Rayo de Jalisco/Tineblas Jr. Umm.. this match was really shitty so I'm just going to recap the ending to each fall. Primera Caida(1st fall): A foul by Cien Caras on Rayo that the ref catches.. fall goes to the technicos. Segunda Caida(2nd fall): Villano III misses a top rope somersault senton, Atlantis locks on a variation of the Romero Special and the technicos take it in straight falls.. Post match, Villano III is tossed by Universal 2000. Out come the Puerto Rican contingent, and the rudo vs. rudo angle is progressed...ZZZZZZZ.. Magadan runs down next week's card and that ends the show. Paul Garcia freelance Mail the Author |
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