Unlike my Bits and Bites, I doubt I'll get through this McMahon free.

Sure enough - we start off with Vince proposing a winner takes all match at Survivor Series. The WWF vs. The Alliance!

Welcome to Excess, here's Jonathan Coachman and Trish Stratus. Tonight we'll get everyone caught up on the WWF. There might be a lot of people out of a job following the Survivor Series. Here's how it all started.

Mr. McMahon and Linda come to the ring. They've had it with the Alliance. At the Survivor Series there's one match. (The whole show?!?) Winner takes all. Shane agrees. Tonight is the beginning of the end. Tajiri grabs the Cruiserweight Title from Kidman, Angle gets the US Title from Rhyno, Bradshaw takes home (his first?) singles gold from Hurricane Helms, and then Rocky and Jericho win the WWF World Tag-Team Titles from the Dudley Boyz. Vince and Linda hug and stuff.

On Smackdown! the Alliance threw out a bunch of members. Rhyno, Palumbo, the Dudleys, Kidman, and Helms are all gone. So THAT'S what happened! Here's what Austin had to say.

Austin talks to his watch. It's time for Steve Austin to be the leader of the Alliance and lead them to greatness. He's gone for 1 day, and they lose 4 titles. They're pathetic. They're going to take it all back. Tonight they take back the WCW Title from Chris Jericho. If he wasn't injured, he'd do it. Everyone wants to take out Jericho. So Austin has a Battle Royal - and the winner takes on Jericho. Now we cue the final 6 in the Battle Royal. Test boots RVD out of the ring and Booker tosses Test while he's distracted to become the #1 contender.

The WCW Title match is our next clip. Booker T and Jericho have an awesome little match. Jericho wins clean and retains the gold with a gorgeous bridge while hooking the legs.

Still to come, RVD defends the Hardcore Title against The Rock from Smackdown!

Commercial break kicks off with McMahons! Watch RAW on Monday for McMahon mayhem!

Xbox Slam Of The Week - Christian takes a one man conchairto and Edge wins the IC Title. Crap, I STILL haven't watched No Mercy! Or at least, the last 3 matches. I'll get to that.

What a week it was for Kurt Angle. He won the US Title from Rhyno, and Christian immediately demanded a title shot against Kurt. Regal gave him the match. Let's go back to Smackdown! to watch that match.

We still don't know what this Winner Takes All match is going to be. However, Coach and Trish will definitely keep us informed. Well - I guess EVERYONE had better start watching this show then!

Still to come, McMahons!

Commercial break.

Now it's time for the WWF Rewind. Chris Jericho and The Rock win the WWF World Tag-Team Titles from The Dudley Boyz.

The Rock lost the WCW World Heavyweight Title to Chris Jericho at No Mercy - so how can he co-exist with Chris Jericho? Well, that doesn't matter, because he's #100 in the top 101 Most Powerful People in the world according to People magazine. Now, the Dudleys may have lost the titles to him and Jericho but they challenged the Hardys on Smackdown! Oooh boy that did NOT flow well from one point to the next. Format Coach, format!

On Smackdown! the Dudleys won the WCW World Tag-Team Titles incase we hadn't had enough changes on the week. They're the first team to hold the tag-titles in each of the Big 3.

That's not the first time that Matt Hardy's gotten into trouble looking at women. He stared at Trish on Monday. Also on Monday, Trish and Lita had a tag- team match. Trish explains how she felt giving a bulldog on Smackdown! She gave a little Stratusfaction or something.

Up next, Terri goes off to the UK. I hope they leave her there.

Foley shills his book during this commercial break.

Hey sweet, I just checked the satellite feed and it claims Excess is only an hour. Don't tease me - you'd better mean it!

Thinking of which, no live guest has been announced for tonight yet. WHY NOT?

Next week will be Raven on the show. That's kinda cool - I love it when he's given a chance to talk. ALSO next week the WWF goes to the UK. They sent Terri ahead of time. Here's a look. Oh boy, you can never get enough Terri!

Terri goes off to a local studio and gets dolled up like a whore. She's shooting a promo where she's a giant taking over the city. She's going to be bigger then Manchester United. She loves to pretend. They're going to come to Manchester and storm the place. She shakes hands with little boys at an autograph signing. She looks forward to a good meal.

Coach tells us the crowd never disappoints. Meanwhile, an event no one wants to miss is Wrestlemania. Go to Wrestlemania.com to get all the details. Tickets are on sale November 3rd.

Commercial break.

Xbox presents Survivor Series. See it live in November.

We all know that Shane and Stephanie have never needed to work for anything in their lives. Yeah - I keep getting told that. Let's take a look at some McMahons.

Vince gets told from Sergeant Slaughter that Shane wants to fight him in the parking lot. Vince can't find him. "Hey wuss. Hey tough guy. Come on Shane-O. Let's do it. Huh?" Vince apparently can smell him. Meanwhile Linda's pacing and comes face to face with son and daughter. You wanna call Shane a wuss to his face? Wasn't Shane all defensive when Vince was doing the same thing to her around Wrestlemania? ARGH! There's a REASON I don't watch this stuff! Stephanie slaps her mother hard and Shane calls her a wuss. Shane and Steph get the hell out of Dodge. Linda's crying. Vince wants to know what happened to her face. She doesn't want to say, but Vince gets it out of her. Yeah, because it's SO MUCH WORSE than anything Vince has done to her. Slaughter takes her to the car. I hate this, I hate this, I hate this.

Vince and Shane tangle on RAW. Well, it saves ME 10 minutes from recapping.

Commercial break.

Lugz WWF Boot Of The Week - Big Show loses to Rob Van Dam.

Coach reminds us the Alliance lost all their titles except Rob Van Dam. THANKS for reminding us. The Rock and Rob Van Dam had a match for the title on Smackdown! Let's take a look at that.

Rocky and RVD have another one of their awesome matches with the fans split right down the middle. RVD hits a great running unassisted Van Daminator. Rocky however comes back with a throw off the top rope that sees RVD go through a trash can. RVD misses an enzuigiri and Rocky puts on one of the lousiest Sharpshooters I've EVER seen. I don't mind Rocky using that move as much as the rest of the world, but that one is brutal. Shane runs in and beats up Rocky a whole lot. Five Star Frogsplash but it doesn't finish. Vince runs in now, because you can never have too many McMahons! I'm surprised no one remembered the 24 hour rule and Vince didn't pin RVD. Here comes Test because on top of the McMahons, you can never have too many run ins. Jericho's in now. And now Booker T! 5 run ins! Let's go for 6! Spinebuster on RVD. He goes for the People's Elbow, but Booker's there to ruin that and RVD scores the pinfall.

What will happen this Monday night when Vince and Shane go at it? Thanks for joining this very special Excess. Trish says it's always special. Ummm, yeah. Have a great week. BEFORE the cameras go off, Coach looks RELIEVED it's over. Oh man!

On the plus side I didn't miss too much of the ballgame, thank god! Until next week...

cfgb
[slash] wrestling