LIVE AT RAW 10/25/99
Hey gang. Sorry that there's no Good, Bad, and Ugly
tonight. It's been a rough weekend. Suffice to say my personal
life is in flames right now and the cable company decided to change the
channel lineup so Nitro and RAW did not get taped.
However, I did attend the Providence RAW show live and caught the end
of the Nitro recast at about 4 a.m. so I have a few words to say.
Thanks for all the letters you guys sent. In the interest of time, I am
not going to print them now...maybe next week...if I am still alive by
On to the report: RAW is WAR 10/25/99 live in Providence, RI, the
biggest little state in the union, Little Rhody, Rogue's Island, the
armpit of New England, and home of such celebrities as James Woods, the
Farrelly brothers, and Chris Hyatte.
Yes, it's a great little dirt pile.
Anyway, my erstwhile companion Scott and I arrived in the city about 2
hours before gate time. We thought that perhaps we'd get to see a WWF
superstar or two wandering around outside the Civic Center. No luck...the
closest we got was a quick appearance by Crash Holly and a hearsay
sighting of The Big Bossman.
We entered the arena about an hour before the show to grab our seats. I
picked up a program at the concession stand after considering buying
one sock with magic marker features drawn on it for $8. I almost
convinced Scott to buy the giant foam Assman ass, but he was entirely
The program gave us some of the card. The Rock and Austin versus the
Outlaws! Mankind Versus HHH! Ho's, Moolah, and Test, oh my!
Yeah, yeah. We found our seats after an usher sent us the wrong way...we
were four rows from the floor dead center next to the cameras, at the
end of a row. Awesome seats! To get an idea of where we were, when HHH
and Mankind went into the crowd, I was looking right down on top of
Foley's head. Not shabby.
The Fink came out to a huge pop. The guy is a class act. He spent about
30 minutes shaking hands and taking pictures with fans. At least
someone is catering to the fans.
Anyway, the dark matches and Jakked/Metal taping results were:
Kurt Angle versus Steve Ripley. Kurt wins with some sort of a Samoan
drop. During this match, Angle missed a moonsault and a guy sitting
nearby asked why a move like that only hurts if you miss. My answer?
"Because wrestling is fake." Well, duh.
Then they announced that Bob Backlund was running for congress...he's
giving autographs to anyone who makes a campaign donation. Sorry, Bob,
these $40 seats broke the bank, but good luck at the polls!
Michael Cole and Michael Hayes came out to a tepid response. I guess
this next match is for Jakked.
Val Venis versus Sean Staziak. Val garnered some cheap heel heat by
calling all the women in Providence "skanks." Well, that will hardly
get you a blowjob in this town. Venis beats the Meat with the money
Finkle shills some new Rock shirts and the upcoming Survivor Series.
See the reference to Backlund.
Gangrel Versus Al Snow. An uneventful match. Al wins when the ref sees
Gangrel spew blood into his face.
The Headbangers versus Knuckles Nelson and Dick Somethingorother. I
think that the crowd spent more time making fun of the jobbers than
watching the match. Guess who won.
The Blue Meanie versus Tom O'Sullivan. You'd think that this close to
Boston, they let the Irish guy win. Naah, Meanie with a sloppy
That was it for that. Next Lillian Garcia came out to a monster pop.
She may be way lame as a ring announcer, but the guys sure love her.
Anytime she got in the ring, the crowd was rabid.
JR was announced to a huge crowd reaction. The King got a nice sized
roar too, but I gotta give this one to JR.
The fireworks shot off and we were live. Let me tell you, that light
show is loud and hot as hell. If it ever went astray, just look out.
At this time, we discovered that the entire back row of the floor
section contained members of the New England Patriots. I could care
less, but some moron decided to parade behind them with a sign reading
"Patriots suck." Now, when twelve guys with arms as big as oak tree
limbs and twice as strong are a hair's breath from you, this is not a
good idea. They grabbed the sign and ripped it up and the idiot
carrying it was ejected from the arena.
Then a "Yankees Suck" chant erupted out of nowhere. No, sorry, they
don't. You see, they beat the Red Sox, ergo they do not suck. Ah, to
each his own, I guess.
There was very little in-ring mic work. While this may make for a great
televised event, it sure lets the fans down. I really wanted to see
Foley or Rocky or Vinnie Mac get out there and elicit a crowd reaction.
All that taped shit doesn't play well in the arena. Ah, well. Too bad
for me, I guess.
As for the taped vignette at the "Friendly Tap," well, let me comment.
I thought it was interesting and helps the Acolytes' personality get
more developed, but they portrayed Rhode Islanders as ignorant, bigoted
blowhards. I should get with Hyatte and we can go kick somebody's ass
for that awful stereotype!
Okay, anyway. What happened after the cameras shut off? Well, DX
postured for a while and shouted insults at the crowd about how we are
all losers and pussies. Yeah, yeah. HHH and X-Pac left the ring and the
Outlaws continued the celebration. Slowly, Rocky and Austin got back up
and then attacked the Outlaws laying in simultaneously a rock bottom
and stunner. Austin took his beers and tossed one to Rocky. Rocky
raised an eyebrow, took that can of beer, opened it, toasted Austin,
and poured it straight down his thirsty throat!
Anyway, Austin had a couple more beers. Gave one to Mr. Ass, who ate a
stunner with a mouthful. Then HHH and X-Pac came back into the ring and
started beating on Austin who promptly stunnered everyone in the ring
Now, here's where it gets scary. DX all got back in the ring and
started with the insults. By now, bottles are flying left and right.
Road Dogg grabs the stick and says that anyone throwing bottles are
invited to step through the ropes and throw a punch, if they're man
This elicits about 900 bottles to rain on the arena and about 30
liquored up, wound up fans to rush towards the ring. Securtiy is quik
to restrin them, but DX gets on the floor and starts to taunt the
crowd, even grabbing a guy or two. Finally, they broke off and headed
up the ramp. As he left, Road Dogg was taunting the crowd, gesturing
for them to throw all their bottles as he could take it. From out of
nowhere, McMahon appears at the top of the ramp and SCREAMS at the Dogg
and the rest of DX to get the hell in the back and stop endangering
everyone's safety. He looked earnestly pissed off.
Then we left. The end.
See you all next week. Hopefully, I will have a G, B, & U
for you all then...if I can get my life on straight by then.
I am Michaelangelo and will be for a while.
Mail the Author