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Sharon Austin




Greetings, sports entertainment fans! It's been a while since my last writing, I think I've sufficiently recovered from hearing that Matt Hardy has actually read my column. The thought STILL gives me heart palpitations! (sorry, M :) ) Anyway, in my last column, I did PPV predictions and oh boy did I SUCK!!! I got 2 out of 7 right, trying not to go with the obvious choices-geez...I'm not going to do any with Judgement Day coming up, mostly because it just doesn't sound very exciting. Well, the main event doesn't anyway.

I'm not going to jump on the bandwagon criticizing the WWF, because I enjoy the undercard too much. But I think the Rock's absence is strongly felt-yeah, I know lots of you disagree with that but it's my opinion. So let's just look at what's happened lately, shall we? I'm not going to start with the top, let's talk about the women-first of all, what's the deal with having Chyna have the belt? She brings absolutely nothing to the belt-hey, I remember when she said she had NO interest in the Women's belt!

She's at least a head taller than most of the women in the division, the only 2 that don't look like trolls next to her are Lita and Tori! Uh...where IS Tori? Did they leave her in the Bahamas? God, how lame was it to have Trish shill for a video that's already #1 on the sports videos list? I know the fanboys (Butch :p) enjoyed it but talk about gratuitous. Not only that but to have the 2 women with the WORST speaking voices-Lita & Chyna talk about posing in bikinis as if it were their greatest accomplishment in their lives, was barf bag time.

One of the announcers (I think it was J.R.) spoke of Chyna beating all the women and I wanted to say wait, I haven't seen her take on Tori or Jacky so don't say ALL the women! (Not that I want to see that) I know I used to be one of Chyna's biggest fans and defenders but she's come down quite a bit in my eyes. And Lita-every singles match she has just emphasizes what a sloppy worker she is! (sorry, Rob) Her hurricanrana might still be impressive but those moonsaults, not to mention her other moves, are just accidents waiting to happen!

I felt really bad for Molly & Ivory, especially Molly, to have to sell those sloppy moves! Another woman I initially supported, it just depresses me to watch her now. That match at Judgement Day is just going to suck heartily. I wonder what part will Eddy play in it? All it took was his turning on his Radicalz mates and helping the Hardys out twice and the crowd was chanting his name! Hhmm....think he'll be helping Chyna retain? I mean, if Stone Cold could forgive HHH for trying to run him down, surely Chyna can overlook Eddy getting it on with a couple of ho's!

Btw, what was up with that knit hat she wore? I liked Charlie Owen's question, 'did Chyna join the Crips and not tell anybody?' Rebecca thought she looked adorable, I thought she should've at least coordinated with her outfit! You've GOT to coordinate! Sorry, too much John Witherspoon, I guess. :)

Anyway, I just read that there'll be a big tag team royal at the PPV-yet ANOTHER way to put over X-Factor? Why do I get the sinking feeling that X-Puke and Justin will end up wearing those belts? Oh, I can see it now-Xpuke taps HHH who goes down quickly and gets pinned! Shades of Kevin Nash & Hulk Hogan! I mean come ON, what's the point of Cold Game having those tag belts? 'Two Man Power Trip'-no, more like 'One Man Ego Trip'!

Now I'm reading that HHH has been deflecting all rumors of his so-called stroke backstage. Then I read someone's opinion that it is really Steph that's the egomaniac!! That she's doing this storyline to get HERSELF over. Hhhmmm....A McMahon with an ego? NO!! While nothing would surprise me, jaded girl that I am, I find that hard to believe. HHH winning his matches and just generally looking like a badass to the point of making Stone Cold his bitch-how would that get HER over?

Seeing Stone Cold become the cowardly heel-I'm just trying to understand how, when they DO turn him back face-who will buy his 'D.T.A.', Bad Rattlesnake persona again? I'd much rather they turned Rock heel, he was much more interesting as a heel. I keep hearing Jericho was much better as a heel too-though the LAW guys think he's the next natural face to be pushed. Then again, quite a few Jericho fans have wondered just where this push is. Surprisingly, it looks like Benoit is starting to appeal to the fans-even the girls on the slash board are beginning to notice his sex appeal!

Needless to say, seeing him stick Angle's medals down his pants sent Rebecca over the edge for a while. And seeing him team up with Jericho against Edge & Christian- it was time to mop her up from the floor! :) I've been reading all the rumors about splitting up Edge & Christian but I'm not thrilled with that. As much as I loved Edge, Christian has surpassed him and I'm afraid Christian would be ignored if they split them up. Go back and read Rebecca's Rants if you don't see what a talent Christian is.

Oh, how could I forget about Rikishi turning back to a face! Must have been how underwhelmed it left me. And as much as I like Mick, I wish he'd just been given 5 minutes to shill his book. It was like he was killing time until the McMahons arrived. So, with Rikishi back to being a face again, can the Too Cool reunion be far behind? Oh joy!

Speaking of Too Cool, Grandmaster Sexay's act has really grown beyond annoying! Was I the only one who cheered when William Regal beat himdown? And bringing those girls out of the audience-can the Ho train be ready to return? Oh joy!

Wow, Smackdown surpassed RAW in every way! The highlight match of the night had to be the Hardys & Eddy vs. The radicals & Jerry Lynn-that was a GREAT match!! But why doesn't Jerry have a match at the PPV? Why is he hosting a PPV party at WWF NY? What a waste of talent! And where is Raven?
Did he get hurt? They put him with Tori and she disappears-now HE'S disappeared!

People are complaining that the WWF is going stale, it's sad that they have a roster teeming with talent and yet we see the same guys on each show! What happened with those rumors that UT knew his career was winding down, therefore he was going to use his his remaining time to put over new guys. Uh....WHEN? And poor Kane, he's finally gained a voice but it seems to have destroyed his whole monster persona so he just gets beat down on every show! Btw, how funny is that rocking from side to side run that he does? I love that! Cracks me up every time! Love those Fatstacker 2 ads too! R.I.P. Brides of Kane!

So I went to see 'The Mummy Returns' last week- I really enjoyed it. And no, it wasn't particularly because I'm a Rock fan! ( I happen to like Brendan, Arnold Vosloo and Oded Fehr too! ) I thought it had all the qualities of a good summer movie-it was fun, action-packed and complete escapist entertainment. Don't look too close or you'll see the strings but that's what summer movies are for-FUN!

I got the new Rolling Stone too-nothing very exciting there. I don't get why when they do interviews with female celebrities, we get pages and pages of them in various states of undress but the Rock gets ONE pic, shirtless. Gee thanks, Jann... The interview didn't really reveal anything new but I guess the people who don't watch wrestling might appreciate it. Ah cover anyway..

They also did a little thing on Lita where as far as I'm concerned, the photographer should be strapped down to his tripod and beaten with his camera strap! Lita looked like a porn star on break! Between the torn fishnets with the safety pins and the extra makeup-I don't know what they were thinking! The Hardys on the other hand looked wonderful, one of the sites took Lita completely out of the picture and it looked much better!

Anyway, the other interesting thing is the utter coolness presenting Molly Holly as a fresh-faced innocent. It's very cute to have her looking like the farmer's daughter. This whole diva thing has eluded her,probably because she's built like a real woman. But there's no complaints here. I especially like this developing thing with her and adorable Spike Dudley. They'd need another Holly to make it a real feud but it would be great to see Spike defy his brothers to protect Molly. Well, we'll see what happens....

Well, enjoy the PPV! Until next time.....

First Lady of the Oracles

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