MY TWO CENTZ
I didn't think "My Two Centz" would originally be a "random
thoughts" column, but it seems I'm nowhere near as deep as I thought I was.
Geez, is it possible I'm not as good-looking as I think I am? Nah.
Anyway, without further ado, here it is, My Two Centz, in random thought
format, at least for now.
I'll weigh in now with my thoughts on the man behind stalking
the Undertaker's wife. In case you haven't heard by now, somebody used
some audio equipment to clean up the distortion of the voice-over of the
stalking clips and sent over to TheSmarks.com. It turns out it was Vinnie
Mac's voice. But does that mean that he's the one behind it? I think not.
It was probably done as a matter of convenience, since they don't know
who's going to be the culprit in the storylines, yet. Here's my vote:
Kurt Angle. Here's why: We've already seen he can have stalker tendencies
(witness last years involvement with Stephanie MacMahon-Helmsley. His
current feud with Shane O'Mac only serves as a thinly veiled pretext for
the involvement of some WCW wrestlers in WWF affairs. So why not put him
in a program with the Undertaker? Taker's still over big as a babyface,
and I think he'd work well with Angle. A side note on Kurt Angle: As
someone who painfully remembers watching Kurt Angle's WRETCHED sports
reporting on Fox 53 here in Pittsburgh, I am amazed at how far he's come.
When I heard he was going to the WWF, I thought it would be a short and
embarrassing failure. However, I've never felt better about eating crow in
my life. Kurt has done more in his first year in the WWF than anyone else
in history (except maybe Ric Flair, but he wasn't a rookie, was he?) And
his promo asking Kevin Kelly who the People's Champ really was before his
No Way Out match with The Rock was one of the best promos EVER. Way to go,
Kurt, and congrats on the Amateur Wrestling Hall of Fame!
I personally am digging the new heel Steve Austin. It's something
interesting and new. I wasn't regularly watching wrestling (my viewing was
kind of sporadic, at best, from about '92 to '99) when the Stone Cold
gimmick was fresh. I thought it had gotten stale. Sure fans were still
buying the T-shirts and cheering rabidly for him, but this was a chance to
go in a different direction. And I will give credit where credit is due:
This heel turn is working not because he's hanging out with Vince or Triple
H, but because Steve Austin is willing to do what it takes to get booed, be
it running like a coward from the Undertaker or beating the living bejesus
out of Lita with a steel chair. He's thrown himself into this
wholeheartedly. So I say, good for him. It's good to have a top-drawer
heel, especially now that Triple H is out for six months with an injury.
Speaking of The Game, he and his alleged politicking backstage were the
big topic du jour a couple of weeks ago all across this great Internet of
ours. Ironically, all that talk seemed to cease after his, frankly,
AMAZING performance on RAW on 21 May. It boggles my mind to think about
it. The man had a torn quadriceps tendon in his leg, and still managed to
not only wrestle for 5 more minutes and finish the match, all the while in
excruciating pain, he also managed to hit all his spots and contribute to
one of the best matches on free TV in a long time. Is there anywhere else
in the entertainment or sport universe where you can imagine someone going
through that kind of pain in order to get the job done? I take nothing
away from any other professional sport, but NO ONE in pro football, hockey,
baseball, or basketball would play through that kind of injury. They're
not supposed to. When they get hurt, they're told to stay still until the
trainer can check them out. And can you picture an actor (other than
Jackie Chan) continuing with the production of a movie in the face of a
serious injury? I can't. Triple H was my favorite wrestler before that
injury. Seeing what he was willing to go through for the sake of the fans
and the show has cemented his standing in my mind as one of the greatest
wrestlers of all time. That's why our Fearless Leader calls him The New
Where's Chyna been lately? Not that I really want to see more
bad promos and squash matches from her, but she's taken the Women's Title
with her into Limbo. The WWF need to ask themselves one question: Do they
want a competitive women's wrestling division? If they do, they should
turn Chyna heel, make her the evil, indestructible, unbeatable champ (hell,
they're already doing 2/3 of that) which will help that much more when Lita
or Molly or whomever they choose eventually upsets her. Of course, that
all supposes that the WWF wants women wrestling, and not just for T&A, and
that's not something I'm willing to grant. Especially after seeing Terri
and Trish on the 4 June edition of RAW. I won't even get into Perry
I don't know if he's done it in the last two weeks, but Jim Ross
can usually be counted on to devote some space in his Ross Report for
promises that the WWF will be giving a push to the Light Heavyweight
Division. Then, time goes by and the LHWs get a couple of matches on RAW
and Smackdown!, then it's back to Jakked and Sunday Night Heat for anyone
under 230 pounds not named Benoit, Jericho, or Hardy. Much like the
Women's Division, the Light Heavyweight Division languishes in the margins
of the WWF. Actually, it's worse than the marginalization of the Women's
Division, because there's more and better talent available to the Light
Heavyweight Division. And now we have Jeff Hardy as the Light
Heavyweight Champ. Oh, joy! Rather than giving Jerry Lynn a chance with
some actual TV time, they're giving the belt to _ of a tag team! [Dude,
calm down and give it a chance.] Okay, fine. But if I don't see Hardy
defending the LHW belt at RAW or King of the Ring, I'm gonna be a little
This was originally supposed to be a column by itself, but it was too
short. I wrote this directly after the events of the 28 May RAW from
Calgary. My stance hasn't changed too much since then, except to say that
if the Harts (most of them, anyway) are okay with what went on at that
show, then so am I. But my basic point remains sound, I think. It should
be, at least a little interesting to rock music fans, I hope. Read on.
I'm inclined to forgive a lot of crap. I'm usually willing to believe in
the best in people, unless they give me a reason not to. But unless you
know the people involved, who's to say where the truth lies in the muddle
A little background first, for those who don't already know. David
Lee Roth was kicked out of Van Halen by the Brothers Van Halen, Alex and
Eddie, but mostly Eddie. The story from the Van Halens was that Dave quit
voluntarily because he wanted to work on a solo career. Dave's story was
that, yes, he wanted to do some solo stuff, but never wanted to quit the
band until Eddie told him he was fired. So, having no reason not to, I
bought the official Van Halen line that Dave left of his own accord. Flash
forward several years to when Dave's replacement, Sammy Hagar, was forced
out of the band. Sammy's story was that he didn't want to leave his
pregnant wife's side in order to go to the studio, so Eddie fired him.
Eddie's story was that Sammy wanted to go back to being a solo artist.
I know, I know. What does any of this have to do with wrestling?
I'll tell you what: People have spoken to me, and I've read on the 'Net,
about Vincent K. McMahon's spitefulness. I was always willing to shrug it
off as "Oh, so-and-so's just got an axe to grind." I'm afraid I can't do
that any longer.
I was watching the end of the 28 May RAW, in which Chris Benoit, in
Steve Austin's Crossface, did not tap out, yet Vinnie Mac called for the
bell and announced the end of the match, with Austin getting the victory.
This was done with Stu and Bruce Hart in attendance in the front row. I
know, I know. Jericho came out and he and Benoit proceeded to beat on
Vince and Austin, but the whole "Ring the damn bell" echoes of the Montreal
Screwjob seemed unnecessarily crude.
Did it really add that much to the show? Wouldn't the same end
result have been achieved with Vinny Mac distracting the ref, allow Austin
to waffle Benoit with the title belt, then Jericho enters and the faces
clean house? Why open up that painful wound when it seemed like the one
caused by the death of Owen Hart was just starting to heal?
I was inclined to, while not really side with Vince in regards to
Montreal, at least understand why he felt he had to do what he did. He
felt he couldn't run the risk of Bret Hart showing up on WCW Monday Nitro
with the WWF Heavyweight Championship Belt. So he did what he thought he
had to do. It's not what I would've done if I were in his shoes, but there
was a reason behind it. The Calgary Screwjob, for lack of a better term,
just seemed tasteless and spiteful. When something happens once, you can
rationalize it away. When the same thing happens twice, then it's time to
re-evaluate the way you look at the personalities involved. Vince McMahon
is an extraordinary businessman, but he's also a bitter and spiteful human
Earlier this year, Wrestleline's Rick Scaia [addendum: He's the only
guy worth reading at Wrestleline anymore, since they dismissed our Fearless
Leader,] did a Fantasy Road to WrestleMania. To read the whole thing, just
click here. I thought it was really interesting. But there was one thing
in particular that stuck out and I think the WWF could use. He had the
creation of what he called a "Beat the Champ" Title. The gist of it was,
the title would be filled in a "King of the Ring" style tournament, and
then the champ would have to defend the title for a month. If he went
undefeated, then he would get a shot at the WWF Heavyweight Champion on the
RAW after the Pay-Per-View. I thought this was a really interesting idea.
Rick explains how he got it in his wrap-up piece to the Fantasy Universe.
What if the WWF used something similar, calling it, say the WWF TV Title?
Fill it, then make the champ defend the title at least once per week,
either on RAW or Smackdown! If he goes undefeated for one month
(Pay-Per-View to Pay-Pay-View,) he gets a shot at the World Heavyweight
Title. They could resurrect WCW's TV Title and use it in a similar role in
the new WCW. I think this would be an interesting way to get a little more
buzz going about WWF (or WCW) TV, in addition to a way to elevate a
midcarder. Maybe decommission a title or two (Rick chose the European and
Hardcore) in order to make room for a new title, but I think a title like
this would be a breath of fresh air into wrestling.
I'm Chip Boots, and this has been My Two Centz.
Mail the Author
Comment about this article on the EZBoard