Greetings, salutations, and howarya? Welcome to the Brew Spew!

Final Fantasy X Update - I'm 39 HOURS into this life-sucking monster of a game, with an end barely in sight.....I think. And after defeating many fiends and making it to Yojimbo's Chamber Of The Faith, I gotta PAY HIM to get him to fight with me? And 250,000 Gil, no less? That's utter crap. Otherwise, best RPG ever. If you ever want to prove how much better DVD games are than CD games, FFX is Exhibit A.

Stuff You Spewed

La Parka (WOW, LA PARKA E-MAILED ME) said: First, the nitpick! Benoit's gimmick name was Wild Pegasus, not White. Plus, don't forget that Black Tiger Mask at this time was Eddie Guerrero.

Waitaminute - there's NO WAY that THIS Black Tiger was Eddie Guerrero - he was twice Eddie's size! He moved really well for a big guy, but we was WAY to big to have been Eddie....I think. If anybody wants to help solve the mystery of who this specific Black Tiger is, I'd appreciate it. The one I'm talking about is the one who beat TAKA Mitchinoku in the first round, but lost to Wild (not White, sorry) Pegasus in the second round. He's also known as BLACK-UH TYGAAAA

Bill Dearth said: I'm actually starting to enjoy the Ambiguously Gay Duo. I damn near soiled myself when they broke out the matching headbands on the Christmas Eve edition of Raw. I think given time, these guys can be a very successful heel tag team. You know Sean O'Haire is somewhere in Kentucky counting his blessings. Besides, Billy Gunn's entrance music was tailor made for a homosexual gimmick. Also, anytime the WWF can incorporate the old "partner falls head first into other partner's groin" move well, as DDP says..that's not a bad thing....that's a good thing.

Well, they're sure getting their chance now. And while a just plain gay gimmick holds little entertainment for me, an ambiguously gay gimmick could be pretty darn funny. But, I'm also seem to be one of the few who thinks Billy's ringwork isn't that bad, so take that for what you will. I wish Palumbo had teamed up with Shawn Stasiak instead - then I could've called them "ChuckMeat". Oh well - I'll file that one away.

Spewin' on RAW

First off, total kudos to the folks who made what has to be the longest sign in sign history.

Ric Flair SPEAKS - Flair seems to be none the worse for wear after taking the steel pipe shot from Vince - and the replay (with an added "klink!" sound effect for our benefit - does that mean Flair's head is made of metal?) shows it was a pretty solid shot. Why'd Flair laying a beating on the microphone - I mean, what'd it ever do to HIM? Jericho trash talking the guy with the "Jericho is a jobber" sign RULED. He's not a jobber - he's THE MAN! Jericho calls the fans JACKOFFS - And it DIDN'T GET CENSORED! WOW! Every time Jericho refers to himself as TheUndisputed Champion, I smile a little smile. Jericho shows his mic skills by making the crowd go from "What?" to boos with a pretty hilarious anti-Texan bit, and elicits a full-fledged "asshole" chant while pointing out that George W. isn't HIS leader brings Jericho RULES. Speaking of the President - does this choking incident change the meaning of the oft-repeated CRZ saying "This match is the pretzels"? Vince's run-in was nothing special except for the sadistic look on his face while he was running toward the ring. Segment was good, but would've been better if it was 5 or 10 minutes shorter. No Rock run-in? I am SHOCKED. SHOCKED.

Christian and Lance Applaud Jericho - Uh oh, Jericho dissed Texas - I should've guessed Bradshaw'd be pissed. Bradshaw says 'ass' a lot while challenging them to a 6-man. Christian says "don't worry - he hasn't got any friends". HAAAA! Meanwhile, Vince runs for his life, or something.

Buh Buh Rey Dudley (w/ D-Von Dudley) vs. Spike Dudley (w/ Tazz Dudley) - Short, and the right team won to try and make it look even for the re-match at the Rumble. However, I don't give Tazz n' Spike much of a chance.

Now Arriving: Mr. and Mrs. The Game - Steph bitches, while The Game looks exasperated. Let the split begin.

The Ambiguously Gay BodyDonnas vs. The Hurricane (w/ Mighty Molly) and Tajiri (w/ Terrific Torrie) - OH MY GOD, A BILLY AND CHUCK (which is how they were announced, by the way) SIGN. Billy claims they had dates with hot chicks. Suuuuure, you did, Billy. Hurricane makes a "Flame On" references to continue the ambiguously gay vibe. Billy and Chuck get the duke, and continue their push. The Fabulous Females comfort the losers. Awwww. Too short a match, though.

Now Arriving: Mister Taker - nice of him to adjust his crotch for us.....not that I noticed. Billy and Chuck told me. Yeah.

Kurt Angle SPEAKS Angle continues his great playing off "What". This is a good thing - perhaps the fans will limit their "What"s to Angle and Austin, and making Lance Storm happy.

Steph talks to Debra ooo, it's the "my husband will beat up your husband" promo! Oh, the ratings! And look, THEY'RE TOUCHING EACH OTHER, 'scuse me, bathroom breask. WHOA, what a slap by Debra. She NAILED her. Steph retaliates! CATFIGHT! Amazingly, neither woman falls out of her top! Debra slaps WHIPPLEMAN! Who the HELL does she think she is, MRS. AUSTIN or something? ...oh, yeah.

So Tracy McGrady has his own shoe, eh? Probably called "Air Whiny Bitch Who Isn't Vince Carter". Oh wait, that's Nike - sorry.

Jackie vs. Jazz - Winner faces Trish Stratus (who is on commentary making The King a happy man) at the Rumble. Jazz has much better music, but Trish has much bigger breasts. HOLY SHIT, JAZZ WITH A FISHERMAN'S DDT - more or less. Short, but intense match. Jazz wastes no time in going over and pushing Trish's breasts - I mean, Trish. Mark down Jazz vs. Trish's breasts - I mean, Trish - at the Rumble.

Angle vs. Kane - This started slow, but built up really well and ended beautifully with Angle stealing the win. Running suplex off the top rope was a cool spot, as was the Kane-ziguri. Extra kudos to Charles Robinson, who took a pretty nasty bump on the double chokeslam.

Steph Bitches To Hunter more - I think he's had about enough of her crap. I know I have.

APA Need A Partner - and that partner will be the Big Show. Oh wait, no it won't, 'cause he pissed off Booker, so they'll have a go. Something tells me their partner will be another certain Texan.....

Edge and Rob...Van...Dam vs. William Regal and Test - I don't think I like the new version of RVD's music. I'll get back to you on that. Test attacked from behind to start, because HE'S SMART. Regal and RVD in the ring together is quite the contrast of styles, eh? Really nice, but short, match. Fans booing before the count ends isn't a bad thing...that's a good thing.

The Kingston Trio See The APA's Partner - And it's not Austin, but Rikishi. It's 90 minutes into the show, and we have yet to see Austin OR The Rock. Interesting. No, the three Canadian guys aren't all from Kingston, but Kingston is in Ontario, which is a Canadian province, and the group with the same name makes my nickname for them rip-roaring funny.....for me, anyway.

Booker T vs. The Show Who Is Big - Dave Meltzer called the Show "fat and unmotivated" the other day. I disagree. This was solid stuff. Booker exposes the turnbuckle 'cause he's SMART!

Austin SPEAKS Oh there he is. What? I said, there he is. Oh no, we've got What-a-Burgers now. Michael can't help laughing at a couple of points. Me neither. If his strategy for the Rumble is a good one, then I'M entering. I'll win. Easily.

The Kingston Trio vs. The APA & The Bun King - Jericho pauses to show a fan his muscles. Fan interaction RULES. The combined weight of the APA & Rikishi is exactly a ton, plus one. Another too-short match. "Wow, this whole Rock/Y2J build-up has been INTENSE!" he said, as the sarcasm oozed like machismo from his keyboard. Do they have Bun Kings in the States, by the way? If not, Bun King is a bakery-type chain where you can buy fresh extremely large buns, and NOW I can sense the hilarity ripping through the very core of your being.

The Game Hits The Ring (alone) - and 47 minutes of posing ensues. Geez, they're even givin' the "What" to HHH. The Game says he's gonna win - oh good, now I don't have to order the PPV. HHH CUTS OFF AUSTIN before he can hit Turnbuckle #3 - NICE. And there they go! But there's the Taker out of nowhere with a chair for BOTH men, nicely reminding everybody that it's HIS Yard. I'm digging the calm, cool and collected Taker - bit of a weak ending to the show though.

Overall - The build-up for Flair/Vince is going well, and the build-up for the Rumble match itself is going VERY well - but none of the other matches' build-up is going ANYwhere. And no Rock, a week before a PPV he's headlining? Strange.....taking 10 minutes from the opening interview and adding it to the ending interview would've helped a lot...still, not a lot of wrestling to be seen in this show.

Spewin' On Current Events

According to many reports the big news is that Hulk Hogan, Kevin Nash, and Scott Hall have all re-signed with our beloved Federation of World Wrestling. ...so what's NEXT to be brought back? Saturday Night's Main Event? Seriously though, that's pretty damn huge news. I mean, bringing in just ONE of these guys would have been huge news, but all three? That's pretty epic.

So the "main-event" bracket of the WWF now (arguably) consists of 11 performers: Austin, Rock, Angle, Jericho, HHH, RVD, Undertaker, Kane, Hogan (assuming he wrestles), Nash, and Hall. (No, I didn't forget about Benoit, but he's hurt). Narrowing that down to the "elite", you have Austin, Rock, HHH, and Hogan (assuming he wrestles). I'm not talking workrate here; I'm simply talking about guys who will ALWAYS wrestle at the top of the card. That's a whole lot of performers to have at the top, and it makes me worry about other guys; specifically, Edge.

Before I heard about this, my assumption was that Edge would drop the I-C title to Regal at the Rumble, so he could move on to bigger and better things. His face pops have been getting bigger and bigger, and he seems poised to be the next guy to leap into the WWF Title fray. But now, I'm not so sure. Enter The Politburo of Hogan, Hall, and Nash. Could you see Hogan agreeing to lose to Edge? Or Nash? Or even Hall? With this new influx, wouldn't it be easier for the Fed to just keep Edge where he is?

But, there is hope. These are all just "first-thoughts". As I've said before, when a "new guy" is brought in, I ALWAYS give him the initial benefit of the doubt - no matter what is said of him (or them). Being an opimist (which isn't as easy as it sounds sometimes), my hope is that Hogan, Hall and Nash come in prepared to bust their ass. If they do, it'll make the show better, and there's nothing wrong with that. I also hope that should it be proven that they're dogging it out there, that Vince wastes no time in unceremoneously sending them back to their homes, thus sending the ULTIMATE message tot the rest of the crew; work your butt off, or yer gone, even if your name is Hulk Hogan. Of course, this is all assuming Hogan even gets into the ring at ALL. Nash and Hall feuding with the Dudleyz would give a very nice and much-needed jolt to the tag-team ranks - lets hope that's where they start.

I think everybody is excited for their initial appearance; that always makes for must-watch TV. I suppose they could debut as early as tonight, although, that'd be pretty tricky with the Rumble less than a week away. Then again, maybe that's why they've gone back to a 1-minute interval between wrestlers for the Rumble this year. Still, if these guys get a match on the Rumble card (which I seriously doubt), their mettle will be tested immediately. Kronik at least had a few weeks of TV before appearing on a PPV and working themselves out of a job. My guess is these guys will make some kind of appearance at the Rumble - perhaps a triple run-in to assist Jericho or to assist Vince in the Street Fight - after which they become actively involved in storylines.

Speaking of storylines - what does all this mean for the proposed "split" of the roster? Who will go where NOW? When will the other group start with their own PPV's? There's a lot of pressure there, too, because if the Fed thinks I'm just going to fork over a total of 60 bucks a month to watch both WWF PPV's....well, they're probably right, initially. But, since I'm spending a little more money, I don't think it's unfair to demand a little more for my money - or at least, the same high-quality standard which has been set by almost every PPV for the past year or two. Or maybe they'll just make the PPV's cheaper? Nahhhhhh.

Final Thought - If Hulk Hogan wrestled Kevin Nash in a No-Outside-Interference No DQ Steel Cage Match, who would win?

BrewGuy
[slash] wrestling