I am now the proud owner of Versions 1, 2 and 3 of Llakor's "Rejected Wrestling Themes" collection. Personal favorites: Wicked Game - Chris Isaak (HHH), Super Freak - Big Daddy (Scott Steiner), and Female Mudwrestling - Phranc (Vince Russo). Honorable mention goes to I Kissed a Girl - Jill Sobule (Lillian Garcia); while I don't really know what "I Kissed a Girl" has to do with Lillian Garcia, the mere thought at least bears mentioning. Also worth mentioning is Gotta Serve Somebody by Bob Dylan, which - and I quote from the liner notes - "serves as a tribute to CRZ's selflessness.". But ultimately, the fact that j210 got on this collection and I didn't will have me up nights for weeks to come (EGO EGO LOOK AT MY EGO). Other than that, I enjoyed the shit out of 'em, along with the Macho Man stamp. Ooooooo, yeah!

Also, a quick thank-you to everybody who wrote in and telling me that Eddie Guerrero was indeed Black-uh Tygaaaa in the Super J Cup '94. But just finished Tom Billington's book (more on that next week), and he said somebody ELSE was Black Tiger! There couldn't have been TWO Black Tigers........right?

Spewin' on Raw

Kane vs. The Big Show - CRAZY huge pop for Kane - where is this show? I'm smelling an now interruption of some kind. Holy SHIT, A SLAM by Kane! That's just wrong. I kinda wish they'd kept that for a PPV spot, but I guess they need to break out the big stuff to keep the fans from crapping on the match. WHOA, Kane kicked out of the Chokeslam! But Show doesn't kick out of Kane's! As JR said, short, but hard-fought match. Is that the end of this little feud?

Flair's on the Phone, and with the APA - They ain't happy about the nWo at all. Bradshaw calls them names which are very consistent with their reputations. Is he SHOOTING? Nahhhhhhhh. I will say this - you gotta hand it to the Fed for taking a wrestler's supposed shortcomings and turn them into an angle to get them over.

Another 24 Karat Production - Goldust is back with another cryptic promo, and I'm more convinced than ever that its The Rock he's talking about. I am REALLY looking forward to seeing them interact. But The Rock's got the Taker at No Way Out, right? So it CAN'T be The Rock.......right?

Maven eliminating the Taker (and the subsequent beat-down) is shown again - I still say that's the Chairshot of the Century. I still love that segment, and ROSS CONFIRMS MAVEN WASN'T ELIMINATED!! What does this mean?! I guess that's why he's got his shot against Jericho! Speaking of which...

Jericho talks about Maven - All they wanna talk about is Maven! Maven deserves a title shot! And NOBODY wants to talk about The Undisputed Champion, Y2J! That's just WRONG! The Undisputed Champion, Y2J, is a SAINT for giving Maven a title shot! A SAINT, I tell you! By the way - Chris Jericho is the Undisputed Champion...just in case you forgot.

Side note - Oh goodie, another Tracy McGrady "I Got My Ass Spanked By Vince Carter The Other Night" shoe commercial. My favorite.

RVD vs. Regal (for the TITLE this time) - Lillian has COFFEE BURNS! Teddy Long is looking for brass knux! CONTINUITY! Look at CRZ SMILE! Ouch, that step-over kick caught Regal right in the mouth. Regal is disqualified for a low blow?? I DON'T BELIEVE IT!! And here come the Dudleys to beat on RVD! And here comes Edge to beat on everybody! I typed that line before it even happened - impressed? But WHAM, Regal nails him with the knux! But RVD nails Regal! But the Dudleys nail RVD with a 3D! I didn't know THAT would happen! I smell a 6 man! Cool segment! I like exclamation marks!

Flair drinks Pepsi and talks to Steph - Steph's mad that Flair booked H and Booker T - but HE didn't book it; Vince booked it! And he's gonna TALK ABOUT THE nWo OH MY GOD YESSSSS

The Much Slimmer Godfather (w/ escorts) and DDP vs. The Young Canucks - DDP is a satisfied customer of the Godfather Escort Service! Kimberly's gonna kick his ass when HE gets home! Why would they use Storm's entrance, and not Christian's? I think Storm's drop-kick actually went THROUGH the Godfather's face. Quick question - whose dropkick is better; Storm or Bob Holly? The hos (sorry...escorts) are screaming with every shot the Godfather takes. A DDP chant?!?! Christian's REALLY MAD he only got a 2-count. ANOTHER DDP chant?!?! Where the HELL is this show coming from?! HUGE POP for the Diamond Cutter (which Storm took beautifully)!! They CHANTED WTH THE COUNT! I am STUNNED...pleasantly!

A LIMO! It's VINCE! Accompanied by....NOBODY! The driver apologizes for being late - and Vince forgives him!! He's off his rocker!

Flair wants to TALK - oh, they're in RICHMOND. They should go back there more often. And that video compilation absolutely rocked beyond words - the Nitro/nWo bit in the middle was sure interesting. I don't really know what to say about that segment (besides reiterate how good the Fed is at turning things to their advantage), but how do I know that segment had EVERYBODY's attention? The TSN guy actually mentions the decision Flair has to make - they NEVER do that!

Maven vs. Y2J - oh THAT's why he's got a shot - he's from VIRGINIA! And he's got TIGHTS! WOW! Y2J TOTALLY sucks that kid into thinking he was gonna get to touch the belt! AWESOME. Those false finishes were GREAT - I enjoyed the hell out of that match. Total Underdog Almost Winning = Good TV. And the Taker's down to assert what a jerk he is - ooo, the chair shot to the throat! Jericho loved the whole thing, and so did I.

Taker talks with Coach - Coach makes a smart decision and calls Taker "sir". You know how you can tell the Undertaker is respected? They didn't "What" him. That, or the WWF muted the mics - or the segment was recorded earlier, or.....nevermind.

Jazz finds Billy and Chuck, Uhhh....Stretching - well, I laughed.

Steph and H Talk - Steph wants to go to the ring. H says no. Steph = Unhappy. Y'know, Steph, there's this guy right now - he's names Jericho. You may have heard of him - y'know, the Undisputed Champion? I'll bet he would LOVE a little accompanyment to the ring.....

Trish & The APA vs. Jazz & The Ambiguously Gay Bodydonas - Chuck's super-kick got booed because it wasn't even CLOSE to hitting Farrooq. Whoops! Chuck's Ambigulously Gay Cover was pretty funny though.

Angle Talks to Michael Cole - and gets a lot of What's. I like how they're starting to manage to keep the What's to Kurt's promos.

Booker vs. HHH - Two great pros goin' toe to toe, and for some reason, I'm experiencing déjà vu - I couldn't sworn I saw parts of this match before. I must need sleep or somethin'. I don't remember the Christian run-in though! Hey, more continuity!! Steph runs in to slap Christian - and costs H the match! Outstanding! Steph = sorry, Hunter = PISSED. Solid stuff, and the win'll do nothing but help Booker.

During The Break, Steph gets a door slammed in her face. Steph's mad/sorry/upset/whiny. HHH sends her packin'! Steph = MEGA-MAD. I can't say this annoyed me, though

Austin vs. Angle - I think it's safe to say the "You Suck" chant for Angle has caught on. And now they're giving "What"'s to the "You Suck". Those 198 chops had to hurt after awhile, and the shoulder-block into the pole looked extra-painful. Angle BEGGIN' for the chair-shot was great, and the beating Austin took with the chair was pretty nasty. Some GREAT storytelling in this one, and its Austin/Jericho at No Way Out. Great stuff until Jericho executed the most un-effective run-in ever. But, you gotta send 'em home happy, and they're happy.

Overall - Excellent show. All matches were solid (with the possible exception of the APA/Billy & Chuck match) and the build-up to the nWo takes another interesting twist without actually showing any of them yet. They're gonna do the "slow burn", as Seadawg called it, and that's not a bad thing - that's a good thing. A very good thing.

Spewin' on Current Events

Alright, I admit it - I found the Billy & Chuck vignette pretty funny. I seem to be in the minority, but that's nothing new. I also still think that with the proper opponent, this whole Ambiguously Gay (not gay - AMBIGULOUSLY gay. Big difference.) thing just might get over. Who might those opponents be? I can think of nobody better than the APA. A couple of classic APA-playin'-card vignettes later, and you'd have yourself a decent, comedic feud, which could at least last until WrestleMania. And at this point, that's all you need, since after WrestleMania, it looks like the Fed will push the "Reset" button again and finally get on with this "split" thing I've been hearing about since forever.

By the way, speaking of Billy Gunn - the man has been a Smoking Gunn, a Rockabilly, a Degenerate Badd Ass, Mr. Ass, the brother of Kenny G, The One, and now, Ambiguously Gay Billy. Billy Gunn is the Michel Petit of the World Wrestling Federation (for those who don't know, Michel Petit holds the record for number of NHL teams played for - 10), and say-whatcha-want, but that's some pretty impressive versatility.

Goldust's promos have gotten better each week, all the while convincing me that he's talking about The Rock. But, as we all know, The Rock will be taking on the Undertaker. So, whom is Goldust talking about? Loosie mentioned somebody on ITVR Radio who has now stepped to the forefront of my mind, and that man is Val Venis.

In Goldust's last promo, he mentioned how the crowd cheered and clapped for him, as they (well, the women) did for Val when he first returned and played tonsil hockey with the (planted) fan last week. Plus, after one interrupted match with Mr. Perfect, Val is now back off TV That's not a good thing; that's a bad thing. Plus, it'd make a great way to get both these guys back on TV and in the ring where they belong (especially Val). And speaking of guys who should be in the ring, where's Mr. Perfect? And WHERE'S TEST?!

Semi-Shameless Plug - I cordially invite you to check out In This Very Ring Radio at Fancast.com - we broadcast Saturday nights at 10:30pm EST, and Monday nights at 11:30pm, and we've had loads of fun doing it. And I guess we're attracting listeners, since we're up to #6 in the overall rankings, last I checked. Don'cha dare miss it, because after you listen, you can go to weinerville and tell Mr. Z how I lovingly plug slashwrestling.com, thus making me look good. And that's not a bad thing.....that's a good thing! A very good thing! Even a great thing! (EGO EGO LOOK AT MY EGO)

Final Thought - Of all the legendary performers who appeared in the compilation video on Monday night, I'm sure there was one moment which you picked out as your favorite. For me, the one that touched me the most was the inclusion of Gorilla Monsoon - how I miss him so.

BrewGuy
[slash] wrestling