THE BREW SPEW
Non-Wrestling Comments (so feel free to skip 'em) - You'll forgive me for being a bit late, what with the whole country partying on the weekend after the hockey game and all. I wish all the good American folks who tuned could have seen the shots of people in the streets whoopin' it up after the win on Sunday - I think you really would've been in awe of the fact that pretty much the ENTIRE COUNTRY (I say that without exaggeration) was celebrating that win - that's how much it meant to us. Full marks to the Americans for playing an excellent game, and for the class they showed at the end of the game by waving to the fans and taking pictures with the Canadian players after the game. It was nothing short of awesome. Salt Lake City and the U S of A should be proud of the monumental job they did to host these games. On behalf of your northern neighbours, I raise my beer to you. Well done, eh?
Also, a belated thanks to Christian (at last, he's on his own!) for telling me that the hamster voice in the Blockbuster commercial belongs to James Belushi. Good ol, James....remember Red Heat? "You look like Marvin Hagler to me. I LOST MONEY ON HAGLER!!!"
Spewin' on RAW
nWo SPEAKS Apparantly, nobody embarasses Scott Hall. So what's with the wheelbarrow? There's the confirmation for Austin/Hall at WM I've been looking for - assuming he accepts (gee..you think he will?). Leaving without revealing the wheelbarrow's contents was sort of like never revealing the contents of the briefcase in Pulp Fiction, but a little lamer.
Fear Factor Recap Y'know why Test didn't drink that disgusting concoction? Because TEST IS SMART. And Test STILL made it to the second round, even though they TOTALLY SET HIM UP TO LOSE with an event that obviously favored the little guys but NO!! Little Jeffy-Weffy can't hold on. They TRY to hold Test down, but they JUST...CAN'T...DO IT!!! (Oh Daryl, just give it a rest, would ya?) ...what was that?! I'll KICK YO' ASS!!
Hardyz vs. Billy and Chuck Solid RAW match, except for the fact that Lita was SHOCKED when she realized her cheating DIDN'T WORK! WOW! I am all EUPHORIC 'n stuff!! Oh wait, that's just lingering feelings from the hockey game on Sunday - sorry.
Champ arrives with Steph And Chis has a tape with him! At least Steph is fully clothed...so far.
Arn talks to Christian and DDP. GREAT bit. Christian is great as always, and I had to laugh when DDP stuck his head in his the big grin at the start of the vignette. That was REALLY funny - gave me that "spokesman for a really bad commercial from the 70's" vibe.
Austin and Cole Again, the standard entertaining "What?" promo - nothing really new about OH MY GOD HE LOOKED AT THE CAMERA~!
RVD vs. Storm vs. Big Show Show looks a little more defined - maybe he's been WORKING OUT! Good match, but WAY too short, especially to determine the #1 contender for the I-C belt. RVD vs. Regal at WM, eh? Now THERE's a contrast in styles. What about Goldust? What about Edge? And what the hell was Storm doing in this match? He's an I-C contender?? As much as I love the guy's work, he's what what; one, maybe two matches? And one of those was a count-out or a DQ (can't remember which - have to check Robert Ortega Jr.'s most-excellent stats) against the Rock?
Booker talks to TEST Huh? Shampoo? What? Test's vignettes are slowly getting better and better every week. (But they made fun of Oriental people, you jackass!) ...what was that?! I'll KICK YO' ASS!!
APA go clubbin' Women! Beer! Thongs! Beer! Friendly Tap! Beer! Yay! Bradshaw's speaking ability is awesome; he just has to talk a liiiitle bit slower.
Rikishi vs. Booker NICE ending to the match with Booker quickly pulling the ref in front of him so he could nail Rikishi with the kick in the "confusion". Good match, but Holy Christmas In July, that was a HUGE zit on Booker's shoulder. HUGE.
Mark Henry Is The World's Strongest Man - Again Wow, he actually WON it? Good for him! Looks like he put that weight back on to do it, though.
Jericho and Steph and HHH and Angle "Roll the footage, monkeys!" = GOLD. Wow, H and Steph are down to the "make-fun-of-the-other's-genitalia" level now, which was pretty damn funny. My brother happened to walk into the room in time to see this whole segment, and watching him wet his pants laughing at Hunter's comments was pretty damn funny in it's own right, too. "Into The Great Wide Open" by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers will never sound the same now. DAMN YOU HHH!
Perfect SPEAKS - nonono, Curt, YOU challenged HIM, not the other way around. Stop drinking before your promos!! That Kane match was just an exhibition - he's still perfect. Makes sense to ME! By the way, Hennig's "match preview" mini-movie where he slaps the gum away kicks more ass than any of the rest of them combined.
Jazz vs. Molly Not bad action here - beatdown afterwards was average until the NASTY lookin' DDT. I'd like to see these two a couple more times, though - give them a couple more chances to work together and you could see the best Women's Title match ever.
Taker Feels Like Comin' To Ringside Neat idea, beating down Double-A like that - and Anderson took it like the pro he is. LOVED seeing Taker bore a hole into a fan with his eyes before cutting to a commercial - I'd have given money to see the look of the person receiving that stare.
Kurt vs. Jericho Easily the best match so far - great stuff with these two. But, why have 2 heels wrestle each other? The crowd didn't really care about it, which is a shame, but it also makes perfect sense - they had nobody to cheer for. Angle's running-up-the-ropes-into-an-overhead-belly-to-belly-suplex spot RULES. Kane interfering works for me becuase of how awesome the SmackDown segment with these two was. I'm assuming you can consider Angle/Kane a done deal for 'Mania. KANE'S IN A STORYLINE! KANE'S IN A STORYLINE!
Hogan talks to Cardboard Rock Good job by Hogan - the more they push the "past legend, future legend" thing, the better. I hope this is the last week Rock isn't on TV - I want more Rock/Hogan confrontations before 'Mania.
APA in the Friendly Tap Somebody better tell Tim White that his bar has undergone a few 'changes' while he's been on the road. Funny bit seeing the APA's reactions, but that's when the fun really started. That was an AWESOME, AWESOME beat-down by Billy and Chuck. The pinball machine shot was NASTY, and the beer bottle and pool cue shots both looked terrific. Not to gay-bash or anything, but the gay guy yelling "Call 911" in the background was pretty darn funny.
Austin vs. Perfect Man, Perfect can still GO. He is just MEGA-AWESOME in the ring, that guy. I'd KILL to see a Perfect-Angle match right now. And Austin sure ain't no slouch. I really hope Perfect can hit his stride and get the fans caring about him, though. Thank you VERY much, nWo, for doing the run-in AFTER the match was over instead of in the middle of it. I, for one, appreciate it. OH NO, the dreaded FAKE CINDER BLOCK to the knee! That was cool, and the 'chaos' that ensued afterward with JR and the King both leaving the announcing positions (thought I don't know why they did) worked really well. Definately helped the segment. Good stuff. But....why bring four or five blocks when yer only going to use one? Or am I thinking too much again?
Overall - Solid show - not eye-popping, but solid. I'll take a serving of this with a side order of fries without too much complaint. Hey, wasn't Val Venis supposed to host RAW from WWF NY? If he did, *I* didn't see it.
Wrestling Goes To School I would very much like you all to read this; an article by cousin sent me entitled "Devotional Consumerism and the Ritual of Professional Wrestling" by a Boston University student named Michael Ian Borer. It's a short, but thought-provoking article, and while I disagree with a couple of points he makes, it does make you stop and think about wrestling as a whole. It was written around the time the InVasion angle was in full swing, and I'd very much like to hear your thoughts on it. I'll have more to say on it next week; I wanted to give y'all a chance to read it first. Feel free to send any comments you have to me, and I'll include them in my next Spew. You can also contact Michael directly at email@example.com.
I Am A WWF Booker
So a few weeks ago, I decide to sign up for the WWF's new "feedback system" on wwf.com. Afterwards, I send them a quick note saying "I think the APA would be the perfect team to feud with Billy and Chuck. They are at such opposite ends character-wise, it only seems natural that these two teams would get into it at one point or another, and the APA's excellent mic skills could make for some very entertaining promos at the expense of Billy and Chuck". And a few weeks later......look! A Billy and Chuck/APA feud appears! WOW!!! This RULES!!!! I must tell them why Test should be the WWF Champ RIGHT AWAY!!!!!! At any rate, enjoy this feud, because *I* BOOKED IT!! I should also start sending them my Musical Markouts, like this one I did with a Kane heel-turn in mind recently. I think it'd work for 'em - especially if he loses the mask, which he HAS to do sooner or later.
Final Thought: Does CRZ's best work REALLY happen when he DOESN'T like the product he's seeing on TV?