THE BREW SPEW
I missed a Spew last week, as I was running about trying to get a job (and finally succeeded), but thanks to those who asked - both of you!
A big shout-out goes to Michael "Llakor" Ryan for sending me a whole bunch o' stuff, including a little Capitane Quebec doll (think "The Blue Blazer meets Dino Bravo" - poutine will now forever be safe in my home), a couple of compilation CD's (including a "Rejected Wrestlers Theme's" CD, featuring "Devil in Disguise" by Trisha Yearwood for Vince McMahon, and "You Can Call Me Al" by Paul Simon for Al Snow), and a cheque for $150! Why the cheque? Because I'm THAT DAMN GOOD. Or, he just wanted to pay for his WrestleMania ticket. I'm goin' with the former, and as a token of gratitude for the $150 "BrewGuy Rules" gift, I'll give him the WM ticket for free. I am the most considerate man alive!
What You Said
Stephen Hart (no relation to Bret, as far as I know), said: "If I was Matt Hardy I'd date Lita. If I was Jeff Hardy I'd ask for a better choice than THOSE two - I mean Saturn or Goldberg? Yeesh! Of course it did occur to me that maybe you weren't looking for an answer..."
...but I thought bald men were sexy! Ah well - what do us heterosexuals know?
Chip Boots said: "I like the format. I need to thank you for a great laugh, because I pictured Undertaker and Kane dressed up like Godfather and D'Lo and it made my day. If a gigantic Canadian grizzly like you can get choked up at the Andre biography, then this skinny -- make that "wiry" -- Yank doesn't feel so bad."
Gigantic - make that "broad" - Canadian grizzlies tend to wear our hearts on our sleeve - er, paw - er, whatever. I'll have to find a tape of that biography, it was just SO well done. It's also nice to see the mainstream media get a wrestling story right for a change. Check out the Jesse Ventura one as well!
Greg Pizzo said: "I would have to agree on the Regal/Vince segment. If my wife had walked in during that scene, I would have been right back on football again! It's that kind of vignette that will make me embarrassed to be a wrestling fan."
While I agree, I have to admit I thought The Fed took the whole KMA thing in a decent direction with the Undertaker turn - From people I've read/spoken to since last Monday, I seem to be one of the few who liked the "'Taker Turn". I really like the "Since I've had to kiss ass for 11 years, well then, damnit, so will you" gimmick, and, if done right, could build a really solid (but probably short) storyline. As Tazz said "I don't like 'em, but I respect 'em", and I dig that. Mr. Justin "Credible" Spapiro made a good point in his column last week about Taker not bumping much, but I think they can work around that without suffering too much - plus, it might make Undertaker's PPV bouts better. It all depends where they take it from here - Taker vs. RVD is definately a contrast in style, and it should be interesting to see not only what kind of match they put together, but to see who will to the PPV job as well.
Bill Dearth said: "I think i'm definitely in the minority with this but i just do not like Chris Jericho, not the "heel dislike" but the "get off my TV you plodding long hair" dislike. It just goes to show you that he definitely needs a decent/credible finisher. The Walls of Jericho is a dumb finisher with an even dumber name. I was embarrassed for him while he was trying to apply the hold to Kane."
I have no problem with The Walls at all, but "The Breakdown" has failed MISERABLY as a finisher. He should use Edge's "reverse Slop Drop", as CRZ calls it. Jericho's character has grown pretty dramatically over the last few shows - I'd be quite interested to know if they've changed your opinion of him at all. Speaking of Jericho - did anybody else notice that he's dyed the end of his pony tail red? 1) What's with that, and 2) I wonder when the first Jericho/Jeff Hardy rumour will surface?
Spewin' on Raw
Opening Segment - Jericho and Flair are great together, and Jericho continues to do the little things to get him over as a heel. Jericho/Austin? No interference? I like! I think Jericho had to hold back his smile a couple of times though. If I was in the ring with the Nature Boy, you'd need surgery to get the smile off MY face.
Kane vs. Buh Buh - Not a bad match at all for guys that size, but as build-up to a PPV.....pretty weak, especially since tonight was the first build-up for it.
Vince talks to Taker and Kurt - Wow. Kurt forms PLANS, now! He's an Olympic GENIUS! No, an Olympic SUPER-GENIUS! But how do you build up to a PPV match when one of the combatents isn't even there? Perhaps we'll find out! Then again, perhaps we won't!
Albert vs. Test - WHEN T&A COLLIDE! Another solid big-guy match which told a GREAT little story - lots of good false finishes. I'm assuming there will be a Scotty/Albert vs. Test/Somebody Else (Booker T?) added to Vengence at some point - why ELSE would Albert go over? Dear God of Wrestling, please heedth my request and bestowth upon your worthy servant Test some decent frickin' entrance music so people will start taking him more seriously. Oh, and please punish Scotty II Hotty for calling him "Horse-face" - that's BLASPHAMY! Thankyou, Amen. Hey, what's Trish want with The Rock? I dunno, but CRASH AND STEVE LOMBARDI ARE ON TV! WOW!
Christian interrupts RVD - A great promo by both guys. Good chemistry between them for sure. So did Christian weasel his way out of a title defence there? I'm not sure....ohhhhh the SUSPENSE!
Trsh visits The Rock - Now THAT was a groovy little bit of fun. Man, the crowd TOTALLY ate that up. Me too. Better two pairs of lips than a pair of lips and an ass, I always say.
Hardyz vs. Tajiri/Spike - Not a terrific build-up for Vengence, but not a horrible one either. Maybe we'll get a backstsge bit to augment the match. Did Lita get a boob job, or am I just staring too much?
Regal talks to the APA - I've always liked the APA's mic ability (especially Bradshaw's), even if he does speak too fast sometimes).
A Hardyz Backstage Bit To Augment The Match - Hey, I was right! Lita as the ref makes things very interesting. And she actually YELLED! Maybe she goes heel with Matt? Best Vengence build-up for them so far. Did Lita get a boob...never mind.
Jericho vs. Austin - Totally solid and stiff match, and I am really happy Auston won, as it increases Jericho's chances of winning at Vengence a thousand fold. Did anybody else see Jericho's hair and think "Tatanka", or am I crazy? Hey, Booker T just stole Austin's truck! Oh man, the W.E.P. (Wrestling Ethnicity Police) and CRZ are gonna be all over THAT like Tazz on Stacker 2 - especially with that "it's like ridin' a bike" comment. Yikes!
Vince/Kurt/Rock/Flair promo - Angle's playing on the fan's "'What?" chants RULED. In fact, Kurt's WHOLE PROMO ruled. Best promo he's done in recent memory. Vince sounds really hoarse, but he STILL does a promo - wow, what a trooper! Angle/Vince vs. Rock/Strarus will be,well, interesting - too bad the stipulations make me not want to see SmackDown!.
RVD vs. Christian - Again, solid and stiff - that Rolling Thunder onto the chair/knees was PURE SICKNESS. JR proclaiming Christian "not the Undertaker" was pretty lame, though. And it looks like we won't get any more build-up for Taker/RVD. That's lame, too.
Regal vs. Bradshaw - The CRTC edited out the brass knuckles shot on Edge AND on Bradshaw for us Canadian folks - da hell's with THAT?? So the CRTC will let me see chair shots, sledgehammer shots, bell shots, and belt shots, but not brass knuckle shots?!? CRTC = TRASH. Did anybody else think Tazz "looking down" at Regal from the TitanTron to be pretty hilarious? Not a bad little build-up bit for Edge/Regal; one more "incident" like this on SmackDown! will cap it off nicely.
My Sacrifice - Austin version - The more I see these, the more I like 'em. I suppose the song will start to wear on me eventually, but not yet! I highly recommend the album - all the tunes on it are good to outstanding.
Kurt/Vince talk a tad more - Main event/stips reminder, thanks, I appreciate it, moving on.
Kurt/Vince vs. Rock/Trish - Real nice main event - glad Trish got some licks in - she IS The Women's Champ, after all. Angle's cheap-shot on Trish was terrific. I have absolutely no desire to see Rock's ass, nor to see Vince KISS Rock's ass, nor to see anybody kiss anybody's ass at any time during a WWF TV show. Hopefully, Jericho helps Vince get out of it somehow on SmackDown!. Man, Jericho was all over this show, wasn't he? I love it!
Overall - They definately dould have done better in building up the undercard for Vengence, but it was a solid show, top to bottom. I just realized that Austin didn't utter a single word for the entire show. Wow, how long since THAT happened?
Spewin' on Vengence
It's prediction time! Why? Because I'm BAD at it, and when YOU get more right than ME, YOU get to write ME and tell ME how much better YOU are at predicting than ME! Y'see? It's all about YOU and ME!
1) Assuming it gets added, Test/Whoever Else will beat Albert/Scotty, because TEST RULES.
2) Trish will beat Jackie, becuase people love her breasts - I mean, her.
3) Jeff Hardy beats Matt Hardy. I for one, think it'd be cool if The Fed swerves us and turns Jeff heel instead of Matt.
4) The Undertaker beats RVD, becuase The Taker just turned, and RVD has been slightly de-pushed as of late.
5) The Dudleyz will beat Kane and Big Show, because we've had absolutely NO storyline build-up to Kane and Show as a team - or this whole storyline - at all.
6) William Regal will beat Edge for the IC title, because he needs the credibility after the KMA thing. I hope I'm wrong, though - it'd be awfully nice if they let Edge keep the damn belt for more than a month.
7) Austin will beat Angle, Jericho will beat The Rock, and Austin will beat Jericho to become the Unified Champene Of All Things Wrestling. I REALLY hope I'm wrong and they give Jericho the belts, becuase 1) It'll eliminate all the glass ceiling talk once and for all, and 2) I'll scream like a 13-year-old girl who just met a Backstreet Boy.
Keep your eyes peeled for the Vengence recap! My goal is to finish before the sun comes up - I know I can do it!
The Spew of Randomness
- I'm reading Dave Meltzer's "Tributes" book. Dave likes to tell you all about how the person died, and THEN tell you all about the person's life, which is kinda strange to say the least. I may write a report on it before I re-join the working class (which isn't until the 17th).
- I saw Spike Dudley wearing a WWF T-shirt with the slogan "Get Real" on it. If anybody would like to take a shot at explaining this slogan to me, please - be my guest.
- Kudos to Jim Ross for coming out and saying in his Ross Report that the Vengence poster was "misleading" when it pertained to the return of Triple H. I guess he must have read my last column (yeah, THAT's it). However, plastering ads all over the place to get fans thinking that HHH is going to show his face, and then having him NOT show his face, is still lame in my book.
Final Thought - Is it "WOOOOO!", or is it "WHOOOOO!"? I say "WOOOOOO!"