WRESTLING BITS AND BITES
Looking For Help
I brought this up on the EZBoard, and it seems we haven't been able to come to a full conclusion. What is the REAL name of Van Hammer's Flashback. The Cubs Fan said Hardcore Holly uses it as his Alabama Slam, but I don't see enough of Hardcore Holly to know so I'll take his word on it. Booker T has also been known to use it. The Big Book Of Wrestling Moves apparently calls it a double leg slam, but I agree with The Cubs Fan and say that sounds wrong. Help us out here? If you're able to correctly identify the move (or give it a cool name I can accept as the rightful name) you'll get the following - mention on the top of my article. And isn't name recognition what wrestling is all about?
Tonight: The Rock Returns
I wish this was Nitro... I'd be skeptical to whether or not he actually shows. Unfortunately, the WWF has a tendancy not to disappoint their fans so I believe Rocky's in the house. Darn it all.
Now For Our 20 Minute Interview With.... Tazz?
'k, this is a little weird. What happened to the WWF I know and love? Where's the McMahon's? ALRIGHT, they're getting rid of Cole! I don't dislike Cole, I think he's very good - I just hate him being with Ross. This is what we needed weeks ago, Heyman and Ross side by side. Their chemistry can only improve with the "hatred" in place. Why aren't WWF Superstars rushing the announce table to take out Heyman and put Cole back? Maybe they know how bad the commentary's been? Tazz guarantees Rock will join the Alliance. So here comes Jericho. Maybe he sees the big names jumping ship and realizes WCW's THE place to be? I can dream. I bet he tells Tazz to shut the hell up. Sure enough, he takes all of 90 seconds to squeeze that in. Tonight, Jericho will kick the living hell out of Tazz. We have a match? Well, it's good that referee was out there in that case. Let's see how they can screw Jericho out of the win this week. And as I type that he wins in 20 seconds. Well, that was to the point. I bet those Tough Enough guys are really glad Tazz is training them now.
It's Commissioner Willie
Vince is dressing up the dressing room with lots of Rock stuff. Tajiri is facing RVD. Go Tajiri. He looks funky with those sunglasses. Regal has pie for The Rock. Vince tries to explain the pie thing. Tajiri meanwhile has stolen the pie, and for some reason Regal's irritated by that. Why? Clearly The Rock isn't interested in it. LET THE MAN HAVE PIE!
And Now It's Time For Something We Hope You'll Really Like
RVD was undefeated for 23 months says Heyman. Well, in that case he's held more than his share of gold, it's time to let Tajiri shine. That kick to RVD had me laughing and clapping my hands, brilliant. Keep building Tajiri as a guy who won't take that kind of crap. What kind of kick was that? Handstand heel kick? Whatever it was, it rocked my world. Christ this guy is stiff! I hope Austin doesn't mind getting kicked in the head? I'll be honest, I wasn't big on Tajiri coming into the WWF, but he's altered his style just enough so that he's working a strong mat game on top of his ECW style. Why is Heyman singing Tajiri's praise? Oh, he just said he wishes he'd join the Alliance, nevermind. 5 star Froggie Splash, goodnight. Damn. I realize titles need to be stable, but it's the hardcore title - no one cares.
I'd Like To Get My Hands On Debra's Cookies
Well, not really. Debra's a whore. Isn't that the same room Vince was setting up? How will Rock choose with all this pie and cookies. Booker T seems to agree with what Steve was telling us weeks ago - Debra's cookies taste like crap. I hope he doesn't get the squirts during the title match. That would be embarrassing.
It's All About The Rock
The Big Show is freakin' hilarious and I don't feel guilty at all for saying so. Mind you, I really like The Big Show, no matter how slow he is in the ring. Face it, he's a big intidating man, and the humor is great.
Heyman And Ross
Like I said at the top, their chemistry is bound to improve. Sure enough, it has. Paul's heartfelt speech about getting the message of the Alliance out was great - he sounded like a minister - and Ross' rebuttle was even better. So we segue to Angle and Booker. Say, where is Angle? Oh....
Michael Cole Still Has A Job
Glad to see they found something for him to do so quickly. Man, Angle's character hasn't changed AT ALL yet he's getting cheers. Says something about the heel power of the Alliance. Angle challenges Austin, HEY! Now we're talking!
It's Time For McMahon Family Issues
I hope The Rock is sitting in the rafters with a ballbat laughing. It's a limo - PLEASE be Ric Flair. Well, in this case Kanyon will do. I hope Kanyon's happy with his role, I know I'm digging it. Tonight's show is off to a damn good start. Now, a match wouldn't hurt.
Mixed Up Tag-Teams
Oh boy, my Monday night wouldn't be complete WITHOUT seeing a Hardy. At least it's not Jeff. Representing the Allowance? Please tell me I heard that wrong! I'm not taping tonight, so I can't go back and check. Ross doesn't understand why Torrie and Stacy are proud of their association to the Alliance. Can I bash WWF loyal wrestlers JR just cause I don't understand THAT? Come on. Man, Helms completely no sold the Twist Of Fate. He RULES!
But Where Does Test Stand?
When Test talks, I picture Big Moose from the old Archie comic books. This guy SO needs a personality, it's pathetic.
Ladies And Gentlemen - WCW Champion Kurt Angle
This match is no DQ, I've got a bad feeling for Kurt. Wow, I'm glad to see we waited a whole 7 seconds for the first run in. This is a new record, even by WCW standards I'm sure for run ins during a championship match to seconds the match has gone. Booker T is hiding in the front row, hahaha! A commercial break during a match? Christ, this IS a WCW match! All I need is Tony Schiavone telling me "Fans, we have to take a commercial break, but we'll keep the tape machines rolling. More from WCW when we come back."
Imagine that, the commercial break timed out just enough to restore order and get the match started. You know what stip I'd prefer here? Title can change hands on a DQ and watching Booker try to trick Angle to get DQed. We don't see enough of those. Make this THREE bitchin' matches from these guys in as many weeks. Unbelievable the chemistry they have together. And we have a new World Champion, making Booker T a 4 time champ. He's hot on Jarrett's heels on the number of title reigns list. Only he took a year to get there, not a week. Nash has 4 as well (WCW that is), so I guess all Bookers hang together.
I Hope Kurt Kicks Her Ass
Debra's still showing off her cookies (that joke's getting old pal). Oh, sorry. Kurt tells Debra they suck. And Stone Cold sucks. Next time she sees Austin she has to tell him Kurt's gonna break her leg. Debra kinda stands there, probably trying to figure out what's going on.
Secondary Champs All Around
Lance Storm is like a more serious Kurt. I never really noticed how similar they were until just now to be honest. Looks like we're going into Storm vs. Edge for the IC Title and Kanyon vs. Christian for the US at SummerSlam? That's a guess, not a fact. Jericho might be pared up with Kanyon, since Kanyon's been after a rematch with him. X-Pac vs. Kidman is announced for later. Excellent. I think X-Pac vs. Malenko would probably excite me more, but that will do. I remember a time I didn't think E&C could lose a tag-team match. Now, I generally have them penciled in at 50/50. I hate the Who Better Than Kanyon thing. Would it really hurt them to add the following to that sentence: 's?
Beatings For All
Hey, is it POSSIBLE the WWF has been listening to the crowd responses for Kurt over the last 2 weeks and are serious about his one on one match with Steve Austin? The push continues, as he takes out the whole WCW lockerroom in one swoop.
The Rock Is Coming, I Swear
Vince and Regal head back out. I'm continuing to hope The Rock doesn't show up, just 'cause. :-)
You're Dealin' With The X-Factor
I had a dream the other night that I was friends with X-Pac, and he was really depressed about the constant X-Pac sucks chants and was on the verge of quitting the biz, no joke. Myself and Kevin Nash kept trying to cheer him up, so he beat up Justin Credible. It was weird. Oh yeah, the match. Some people call this matchup a dream 3 years ago. I dunno, I'm kinda digging it NOW. The fans don't seem to have any idea where to chant. It wouldn't be that hard to fix you know - just team him back up with the Big Red Retard and everyone's happy. Except Taker, cause he'd have no one to tag with. Hey, X- Pac actually hit the Bronco Buster. I was starting to wonder if he'd ever land it successfully again. Top rope X-Factor!!! YES! X-Pac is a TWO time WCW Cruiserweight champ! Let's see if he can hang onto the title for as long as he did last time.
Mae Young Tickles My Fancy
I dunno, I didn't have a better title. This sitting around waiting for The Rock is getting ridiculous. Too many segments. A rule we were taught about bits in radio was - keep things to 3's. With the lockerroom scenes and the parking lot, we've exceeded that and I'm sure the fans are probably getting a little annoyed.
D-Von...Get The Muffins
Coachman is shocked that the Dudleyz might want to put Sarah through a table. I'm sorry, does he watch the WWF TV shows at all? Not that I'd know, women don't go through tables in Canada. But we are sure treated to alot of CROWD SHOTS!
The Rock Is Here
An eyebrow! That tells me everything - and I definately know who's side he's on. However, I won't tell you here, I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise.
Kane Keeps Rollin' Rollin' Rollin'
First person through a table loses. I hope it's Ross in that case. JR suggests Kane look for some wood. I wouldn't go there myself, remember Tori? As much as I'd like to whine about the Dudleyz here, I know full well it could be worse. I saw their match on ECW's first PPV with the Eliminators. Here comes Page again to grope Sarah. Sarah goes up top, no crowd shots yet.... Kane saves her, so we needn't censor this scene. I wonder what Kimberly thinks of The Undertaker, since Page could very well be trying to, you know... (Bischoff jokes are lame) But they're fun!
That Was The Main Event
Or at least I'm ASSUMING that was the main event, seeing as how we have 10 minutes to the top of the hour, and we haven't smelled what The Rock is cooking yet. Maybe they'll squeeze some wrestling in with the Sportz Entertainment... or maybe they won't.
The REAL 20 Minute Interview
I guess the show went backwards tonight, and here's our opening segment? I mean, Vince is out and all. And here come his children. The Rock has slightly different entrance music. Is this the thing - to get him sounding louder everytime they redo his song? For a guy who talks alot generally speaking, The Rock doesn't seem to have a whole lot to say. Well come on, I'm DYING to hear about his movie. Details brother! Vince is a moron, saying he might screw him again if it was right for business. Rock Bottom on Vince!!! Shane's an idiot going for the handshake, cause Rock Bottom for Shane!!! People's Elbow for Shane!!! He has something to say. He's come back to the WWF. Hmmm, I was fairly sure he was gonna go Sting on us.
Excellent show Sportz Entertainment wise, though I was a little disappointed with the lack of wrestling. I hope Smackdown offers a little more on that front, but lord knows if I'll even see it. I'm moving tomorrow, got my fingers crossed cable will be up and running by Thursday. If not, I'll just have to do tape reviews. :-) Have a good one.