You are here
Guest Columns

cfgb

Main

BLAH

WWF FUNNIEST MOMENTS

If you've been a long time wrestling fan, then you'll know wrestling is much more than 2 guys beating the piss out of eachother. Wrestling does have a bright side as well from the intense rivalries and hot feuds. So back in 1990, the WWF decided to capitalize on this and released a tape known as WWF Funniest Moments. So I sat down for a half hour with this side splitting show, and managed to contain my laughter enough to share it with you.

Listen to that ZANY music to introduce the show. Sean Mooney and Lord Alfred Hayes are our hosts. Sean shoots a fake gun at Hayes with the word BANG on it. He then offers him a piece of gum that shoots water. Alfred keeps saying it's not about Mooney, but about the WWF. We go over some of the highlights we're going to see later. Sean Mooney apologized for earlier and hits Hayes with the hand buzzer when he goes for the handshake.

HONKY TONK MAN vs. BRUTUS BEEFCAKE

We come in with the two of them doing stuff. The match ends in a DQ (duh!) and Peggy Sue, Honky's sister or something rushes the ring. Beefcake rips her clothes and wig off to reveal Jimmy Hart - and he's wearing a bra, and some pantyhose. Brutus then struts with the belt, and we take a slow motion look at Jimmy in a bra.

Now it's the Arco Arena, and Hillbilly Jim is making his entrance. I've gotta be honest - this is one of the greatest entrances I've ever seen in that it simply involves fans to a level that hasn't been reached since. Booker T had the raise the roof thing, but it's nowhere CLOSE to this! He goes into the whole hoedown routine, hand claping and footstomping. He invites Finkel to the ring and HE starts doing the hoedown. They dance together and the fans are going apeshit for this! Finkel is given the horseshoe and the hillbilly hat. They dance some more.

Our next stop is the Brother Love show. Roddy Piper however has taken it over. He says Brother Love can't make it. We take a look at an older show where Rick Rude embarrassed Piper on the Brother Love show beating the hell out of him. Piper interestingly enough has a really long rope with him. Piper says he's got a treat for us tonight. He's got himself a Dope on a rope. Pulling the rope from the backstage area he reveals a sheet (probably containing Yurple the clown). The sheet is shaking around. Piper says he's the king of humiliation (although I doubt he meant it in the way I'm interpreting it. :-P) He rips off the sheet to reveal Brother Love tied up and dressed like a baby. He puts a pacifier in his mouth and Brother Love finally gets away.

BOBBY HEENAN vs. THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR

Bobby's absolutely getting his ass handed to him here. This is a Weasel Suit Match - loser has to wear a weasel suit. Heenan manages to use a foreign object and actually takes control of this matchup. Heenan keeps cheating and the ref keeps being unable to see the object. Heenan however loses the object and Warrior goes back to beating him up. Heenan actually does a half Flair flip on the turnbuckle. Heenan is put out with the sleeper in a damn hurry. Warrior gets the weasel suit and takes forever putting it on an unconscious Heenan. He slaps Heenan around trying to revive him. Heenan slowly comes to. He wipes his face and realizes he has paws. He starts flopping around trying to get the suit off. Let's take a second look in slow motion.

The Bushwhackers are out for a quiet meal. They're BLOODY hungry. They order their food. We do a quick take and come back with food piled all around them. They throw away the silverwear and start chowing down like mad to HILARIOUS music. After another take we find most of the food gone and them covered in it. They want to bring on the desert.

BRUTUS BEEFCAKE vs. THE GENIOUS

Brutus manages to pull on The Genious' hair enough to reveal he's wearing a wig. The Genious with a somersault moonsault (there's no place for that in the early 90's!) but the wig falls off completely. Beefcake takes him out with a sleeper and that's it. He's out. Beefcake comes back in and puts the wig on The Genious. Beefcake takes out the scissors and goes to school on the wig, and then places the hair in The Genious' tights.

Butch and Luke are buying for mother today. They find all kinds of lingerie (this is their mother remember). They don't want to give her a pillow. They find some flimsy clothing, before finding something that would look good on Bobby Heenan. A woman enters the room and they call her bloody lovely.

The Hulkster is training Mean Gene. Gene is dressed in Hulkster gear and has a headband. They're jogging in a park. Gene is having a hard time keeping up. They continue their run and Gene has had time to change clothes. Gene's ready for a beer and a bratwurst - but Hogan catches him and says not while you're in training. Mean Gene's at home thinking about the match, and Hogan bursts into his house saying it's time to train. They run up the stairs at the arena and Hulk has him do it 8 times. Hogan's then carrying Mean Gene up the stairs. The next scene is GENE CARRYING HULK down the stairs! This is the funniest stuff on the tape right here.

We're back to Alfred Hayes and Sean Mooney. Hayes tells Mooney he has a shine on his chin and then hits him with a giant powder puff. They wish us well, and Hayes ends it with a "cheerio".

Overall: **

The ** is a GENEROUS rating and I'm only giving that for the sheer historical value, Hillbilly Jim, and the Hulk Hogan training Gene stuff. Some people like the Bushwhackers stuff - but this stuff is pretty much as generic Bushwhackers as you're gonna find. I wouldn't go out of my way to buy it unless you're the type who (like me) has to own EVERYTHING you can conceivably get your hands on. I actually found this one at a pawnshop in Ottawa, and chances are pawn shops and Ebay are your best bets if you're interested in owning a copy. But if you're a casual fan looking for classic footage - ignore this tape. 80% of it is not remotely funny.

cfgb
from the ezboard

Mail the Author
Visit my homepage for various columns on wrestling and other stuff
Comment about this article on the EZBoard

BLAH

Main

Design copyright © 1999-2001 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications
Guest column text copyright © 2001 by the individual author and used with permission