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MAKE HIM INTERESTING - MAKE HIM HUMAN

You know, it's been a long time since I've watched WWF programming and said to myself "boy oh boy, that Kane is a really fun entertainer". The fact is, he isn't. The last time I was able to watch Kane and was impressed with what I was seeing was the 2001 Royal Rumble. Prior to that? His feud with X-Pac.

Kane doesn't have a boring character. However, the way he's being presented - as a once tormented soul out to seek and destroy, is not the way to best utilitze this character. Why would he randomly be seeking and destroying? Doesn't *he* remember what it was like to be picked on for no apparent reason?

Which is exactly what I'd like to play off of.

The year of 1999 was a very good year for Kane. He was teamed up with X-Pac, and given a girlfriend in Tori. He started to display emotions. Suddenly, a heck of a lot more fans were able to identify with the Big Red Machine. When X-Pac turned on Kane, I've read numerous times fans were heartbroken. How could X-Pac be so selfish as to turn on the man who had given him the love he couldn't give anyone else?

Since that time though, Kane's really been in a giant rut of doing nothing.

However, I'd like to change all that. Here's what I envision.

The Dudley Boyz are about to put a diva through a table on an episode of RAW. (Pick your diva. In this case let's do with Trish Stratus.) Kane runs down the ramp way as quick as he can and beats the piss out of the 2 saving Trish. The fans are quite confused, but that's okay. Stories take time to be told. Trish is very grateful to Kane.

The 2 start hanging out more frequently backstage. (Show various segments on RAW and Smackdown! over the course of several weeks.) They're pretty good pals. Trish also hangs out with the APA to play cards on occassion, and has invited Kane to come along. Kane is suddenly enjoying a social life and is having a pretty good time suddenly being accepted.

Unfortunately, his feelings are about to get the best of him.

His friendship with Trish is blooming into more in his eyes. This is the sweetest girl in the world, he would think! Even have the APA ask Trish when Kane's not around "why do you hang out with that guy?" to which she responds "he's a sweet guy, go easy on him".

Kane is madly in love. Only Trish doesn't know it - yet.

One week on RAW Kane arrives at the arena with some flowers for Trish. He gives them to her and she gives him a hug. He asks if maybe she'd like to go out sometime.

WARNING bells go off in her head! Sure he's a sweet guy, but he's a freak! Trish gently puts him down telling him they make better friends. Kane is heartbroken, but hasn't given up.

In the meatime, he's made friends with (we need a diva... I dunno, let's assume Molly is no longer dating Spike because I think she works here.) Molly. She really thinks what Kane's doing is sweet but he should focus his attention on someone who will return it. But Kane is convinced Trish is right for him and Molly is willing to give him advince where neccessary.

Trish goes back to the APA and they yuk it up at the thought of Kane asking her out. Farooq warns her to be careful, but she doesn't see Kane as a problem. It's behind them now, and they can go back to being pals.

Trish continues to find herself in positions where she's in trouble and Kane continues to bail her out. When she hugs him for thank yous he lingers a little too long and she gets uncomfortable. He's even taken to giving her a kiss on the cheek at times. You can see Molly backstage at times shaking her head.

Trish is getting disgusted and has made it clear to Kane she isn't interested romantically. However, Kane continues to shower her with presents. She starts to use this to her advantage - making comments about how if she had the cash she'd love (insert present) and Kane promptly gets it for her. At this point, Trish is completely losing interest in friendship and starts laughing at the "retard" with the APA. Molly has been warning Kane that Trish is only using him, but he gets angry and asks Molly to leave the situation alone. Molly is crushed, because over the time she's spent with Kane she's found he's everything a woman could want in a guy - and she's fallen for him. She was only trying to help.

One week, Kane is coming over to the office of the APA to give Trish her present, when he overhears. Rather than attack, he simply walks off dejected, and heartbroken. You'll have EVERYONE who's ever been rejected in America sympathizing with him and on his side.

Kane runs out a week later to beat the piss out of the APA with Trish yelling "what are you doing?" He shoves her off (doesn't hurt her) to a pop and walks to the back. He bumps into Molly, and they kinda akwardly look at eachother before she kinda walks away.

Set the PPV match - Acolytes vs. Kane in a handicap match. Have Kane just run over them in short order and when Trish tries a nutshot or something, he can chokeslam her to send those wanting her blood home happy. After the match, Molly comes down applauding Kane, and gets in the ring. She stands on a chair to hug him, and then KISSES HIM to a huge pop!

And they all lived happily ever after. At least until the next pay-per-view.

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