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BLAH

This is the RAW following Royal Rumble 1997. If you didn't read my recap of the show, go read it now. I'll still be here when you get back, I promise!

Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler, and Jim Ross welcome us to RAW, and we are LIVE in Beaumont, Texas! They waste no time in telling us about that controversy from last night with Steve Austin. Gorilla Monsoon has a major announcement about that coming up a little later on. Speaking of Steve Austin, he WAS signed to face Psycho Sid, however Sid's got a bit of a concussion following that camera attack last night, so he gets The Undertaker instead.

Bret Hart storms down to the ring area and he looks like he has something to say. He grabs the mic away from Fink. "There's something I've gotta say. Something I gotta say, something I gotta say to you. (He points at McMahon) You know when I decided to come back to the World Wrestling Federation, you promised me that I would get an opportunity to fight for the World Wrestling Federation World Title belt. You put me in the ring with Stone Cold Steve Austin, and said if I could beat Stone Cold Steve Austin that I would be the number one contender for the World Wrestling Federation Title belt. And don't you think it's just a little bit convenient that for some stupid reason Shawn Michaels finds himself out at ringside announcing in my World Championship match with Psycho Sid. I don't think it was any kind of a coincidence either. So Shawn Michaels jumps up and sticks his nose in MY business, and costs me the World Wrestling Federation belt with blatant interference, the boy toy costs me the championship, and they go "oh that's okay, don't worry about it, cause now you can go in the Royal Rumble and fight 29 other guys, and then you'll get your opportunity to get the World Wrestling Federation belt." So I wait in the ring, and it's very clear to me that I won the Royal Rumble and I should be getting the World Wrestling Federation belt. Where is my opportunity? The way I look at things right now, I've been screwed by Shawn Michaels the boy toy, I've been screwed by Stone Cold Steve Austin, I've been screwed by the World Wrestling Federation, and I've been screwed by you. (Looking at Vince) I don't like to made idle threats, but the way I see things, it doesn't look like I'm gonna get my opportunity for a shot at the World Wrestling Federation belt, so I quit." And with that, Bret walks off through the crowd. Vince tries to talk sense in to him, but Bret isn't in the mood. The fans chant "we want Bret!" Security helps escort him out of the building. Now Austin hits the ring. He tries talking but his microphone doesn't appear to be working. Someone at ringside hands him a working mic. "You gonna give me a piece of equipment that works son or am I gonna have to whoop your ass? Bret Hart, you can sit there and you can belly ache and complain with the best of them son. Ever since you came back you haven't done anything but cry. You sit there and talk about how Vince screwed ya, how everybody screwed ya, how I screwed ya. The bottom line is son, when the going gets tough, the Harts get going back home. Knock it off. Go back to Canada son, because the only person you could possibly beat is your wrinkled up old man, in his little old basement. You talk about being jerked around, I've been jerked around for 7 years, and then I get here, I'm supposed to face Psycho Sid tonight, and then some guy a 350 pound buffoon that calls himself Gorilla Monsoon, the commissioner, says "no naw, Psycho Sid is at home with a concussion." Psycho Sid may be at home with a concussion and an icepack on his head, but he's also got a yella stripe running right down the middle of his back. As far as Gorilla Monsoon goes, I've got a big bunch of banana's and I can tell ya where to stick each and every one of 'em. You want me to face The Undertaker, you can bring his dead ass out here, because I threw it over the top rope last night, and I'll do the exact same thing now, so bring him out, I've got something for him." Vince walks off, and the announcers speculate that HE'S quit.

Last night, a record setting crowd in the Alamo Dome of 60,595! We'll be right back!

RAW is brought to you by Western Union.

THE BRITISH BULLDOG and OWEN HART (with Clarence Mason) vs. DOUG FURNAS and PHIL LAFON (in a non-title match)

Last night, Owen Hart eliminated The British Bulldog which caused some brief friction, though they appear to have worked it out for this non-title matchup.

Owen and Lafon start off. Lafon gets an armdrag, but Owen gets up - but Lafon's there with a fireman's carry takeover. Lockup - and a hammerlock leads to a sideheadlock takedown for Lafon. Owen rolls through and gets a 1 count. Lafon back over to work the headlock, and again Owen rolls him over for a 1. Lafon to his feet - and Owen shoves him off to the ropes to be met with a shoulderblock. Off the ropes - Owen with a drop toe hold, but Lafon counters the headlock and rolls Owen for a 2. Sidekick to Owen, and Furnas is tagged in. He charges with a forearm shot, then nails Bulldog. Off the ropes - dropkick and a 2 count. Belly to belly overhead suplex gets 2. Whip - reverse, and Owen gets in a spinning heel kick. Bulldog gets the tag. Shots to the back of Furnas. Whip, leapfrog into a hurricanrana! That gets a 2 count for Furnas. Bulldog rolls out to the floor. Bulldog back in, and Lafon gets the tag. Bulldog sidesteps a kick, then they lockup leading to Lafon trapped in the wrong corner. Bulldog distracts the ref while Owen chokes Lafon. Lafon comes out of the corner, jawbreaker to Bulldog! He puts on a legbar briefly, and tags in Furnas. Side headlock, into the ropes - Owen gets a blind tag, and hits a missle dropkick for 2! Owen puts on a headlock as RAW takes a commercial break.

Catch the Royal Rumble encore. See that ending the whole world is talking about!

We come back and Owen has Furnas on his back, and he's stomping on the midsection. Owen drops an elbow, which scores 2. JR reminds us to watch La Femme Nikita, which will not include any bait and switch like Robin Hood. Spell it out JR, what in god's name are you talking about? ;-) Owen puts on the Sharpshooter, but Furnas manages to kick him off before he turns it over. Owen tags in Bulldog, and they attempt a double clothesline, however Furnas ducks, and comes off the ropes with a clothesline for the two of them. Owen is still in, and he drags Furnas back to their corner, and the two work him over with punches. Furnas drops a punch off the ropes, and comes off the other side with a clothesline! Owen gets up and connects with an enzuigiri. He covers, and Furnas manages to kick out at 2. Owen throws Furnas into Bulldog's waiting boot, and Bulldog gets the tag. Vertical suplex and a cover, 1, 2, kickout. Owen gets the tag. Snap mare takeover, and a rear chinlock is slapped on. Furnas powers out, and comes off the ropes, but Owen catches him with a belly to belly overhead. Owen heads up for a flying headbutt, but Furnas moves. Bulldog gets the tag, and so does Lafon. Bulldog takes a clothesline, then a hiptoss! Owen is yanked into the ring and is tossed off the ropes, to be met with a spinning heel kick. Snap suplex, and Lafon with a running whoopee cushion! 1, 2, Bulldog kicks out. T-Bone, 1, 2, kickout. Bulldog tries a hiptoss, but Lafon catches him with an armbar/DDT takedown! Owen breaks up the count at 2, but here comes Furnas to nail Owen and send him flying! Lafon into the ropes, and he gets stopped by Owen. As he turns to Owen, he gets smacked with the Slammy award! Powerslam from Bulldog, 1, 2, 3!

Time: 10:23 + commercials

Let's go back to last night to witness Shawn Michaels' entrance.

FAAROOQ (with PG-13 rapping to the ring, Crush, Clarence Mason, and a bunch of groupies in tuxedoes and dresses) vs. BART GUNN

After last night, the war between Ahmed and Faarooq is long from being finished. The Nation poses, as we head back to last night and watch that Nation Of Domination groupie go through a table.

Faarooq grabs a headlock - shoved off the ropes, and connects with a shoulderblock. A reminder, you will NOT have to sit through Robin Hood to watch Steve Austin vs. Undertaker. Faarooq again comes off, but gets caught with a hiptoss. Dropkick - hiptoss - armbar. Bart Gunn works the arm, and trips Faarooq so he can work on the ground. Don't you go anywhere, we'll be right back.

We return and Bart Gunn is getting stomped. Gunn sent off the ropes - and hit with a spinebuster! Faarooq covers, 1, 2, Gunn kicks out. Faarooq chokes him on the ropes, then while the ref berates him PG-13 are attacking. Faarooq puts on a chinlock. Faarooq puts his feet on the ropes for leverage, and he's aided by PG-13. He tries a second time, but he's caught and forced to break the hold. Gunn sent off the ropes - kick to Faarooq. Gunn misses an elbowdrop, and Faarooq covers for 2. He puts a chinlock back on Gunn as the fans rally. Scoop and a slam. Faarooq up top - he misses a clothesline and Gunn propels him to the ground. Off the ropes - chop! Clothesline - clothesline - whip into the opposite corner - bulldog, 1, 2, Faarooq gets his foot on the ropes with help from PG-13. Gunn heads up to fight them off, and Faarooq jumps off the apron with a forearm. He heads in to distract while Crush wanders over, but the ref isn't falling for it, so Crush just rolls Gunn in. Faarooq sets the Dominator and hits! Cover, 1, 2, 3!

Time: 5:23 + commercials

Vince McMahon and Gorilla Monsoon head down to the ring area. They have an announcement next.

Vince: "Ladies and gentlemen, the president of the World Wrestling Federation Gorilla Monsoon." "Vince, thank you very much. I am very upset to hear the announcement made here earlier by Bret "The Hitman" Hart. I can only hope Bret is somewhere where he can hear and accept my invitation." "What invitation is that?" "As you know and everyone knows, a real travesty occurred last night at the Royal Rumble, and Stone Cold Steve Austin was declared the winner of the Royal Rumble. Now there isn't anything I can do about that, because everyone knows referees decisions are final here in the World Wrestling Federation, and it will in fact state in the record books that the 1997 Royal Rumble was won by Stone Cold Steve Austin. However, if he thinks for one moment that that tainted victory is going to entitle him to a crack at the WWF Title at Wrestlemania 13, he has another guess coming." "What do you propose to do about it?" "What I've done is this Vince, I've put together a very unique match. A 4-man elimination no disqualification match, the winner of which will unquestionably face the World Wrestling Federation champion, whomever it may be, at Wrestlemania 13." "And those participants?" "Those 4 participants who I've chosen are number one, The Undertaker, who was illegally eliminated in the Royal Rumble by Austin. Number two, Vader who was also illegally eliminated by Stone Cold Steve Austin in the Royal Rumble. Number three if he accepts, Bret "The Hitman" Hart, who was also illegally eliminated by Stone Cold Steve Austin. And of course, the man who got the tainted victory at the Royal Rumble, Stone Cold Steve Austin himself. And the winner of that match, that very unique match, will unquestionably face whomever the reigning champion at Wrestlemania 13 is." "Thank you." Vince and Gorilla start to head off, but Steve Austin's back out to the ring. "I don't guess you heard, I don't guess you heard what Bret Hart said son. You can't have a four way match because Bret "The Hitman" Hart just walked out. It can't happen. Before you yank the carpet out from under me, let me ask you one question. Do we have the instant replay rule here in the WWF? I think not. Look at me when I'm talking to you. You sit there and you call yourself the Gorilla, yet you heehaw out here like a jackass. There ain't no way I should be in this match. I threw 29 pieces of trash over the top rope. And if that's what it's going to take, I'll get in your little four way match myself. The bottom line is son, when I get through with them four, I'll toss your carcass around the arena. I may just do that right now." He gets in Gorillas face, but Vince starts yelling at Austin. The fans cheer because Bret Hart is coming back through the crowd! He grabs the mic. "I accept! But we don't need to wait until February, let's do it right now." Bret and Austin start to fighting in the aisle. Refs are all over the two of them. Security tries to haul them off, but Bret gets in a cheap shot and it starts again. Austin gets thrown into the steel steps. We have to take a break!

We come back and the officials have finally separated them. Austin's in the ring taunting Bret while Bret's getting dragged off. The BONG hits and that must mean it's time for...

STEVE AUSTIN vs. THE UNDERTAKER

Bret and Taker start to fighting in the aisle. Bret gets dragged off by Patterson and the crew, at which point Austin charges but gets beaten and slammed headfirst into the steps. Big right hand drops Austin on the mat. Austin rolls in and gets followed by Taker, and we're off.

Whip off the ropes, Austin ducks and Taker just whips his head back on the mat. Taker heads up top - we're going Old School. It hits. Taker stomps at chokes Austin with his boot in the corner. Forearm shot to the back - another - and a another! Whip - Austin hits a swinging neckbreaker. Kick to the head, stomp, rake of the eyes. Whip off the ropes, back elbow, cover, 1, 2, kickout. Forearm to the back of the head. Another. Austin locks on a headlock, then rakes the face again. Austin kicks at the ribs. Austin chokes UT on the ropes, then drops out and snaps his head back. Slam headfirst into the turnbuckle, but Taker comes back with a back elbow. Whip - charge, but Austin gets a foot up. Austin heads up - flying forearm, cover, 1, 2, kickout. Austin puts on a chinlock. Lawler goes to ringside to cheer on Austin and tells him to go after Taker's ribs. Taker meanwhile gets in a lowblow with his foot. Austin is picked up - and he hits a Stunner! Both men are down. In the back, Vader and Bret Hart are having to be separated as we take a commercial break!

Buy that encore!!!

We're back and Austin's dropping an elbow. 1, 2, Taker kicks out. 3 more elbow drops, and Austin poses to a loud series of boos. Austin to the top rope, but Taker kicks the ropes and Austin gets crotched. Taker climbs, and sets for a superplex, but Austin punches him in the ribs and sends Taker to the mat. Elbowdrop, 1, 2, kickout. Taker ducks a clothesline, and comes back with one of his own! Vader comes lumbering down to ringside, he's in and we have a DQ.

Time: 7:18 + commercials

Bret Hart is in now and all four men are fighting. Vader takes a chokeslam! Bret is pounding on Austin. Austin rolls to the outside and Bret chases him to the back. They meet at the top of the ramp, so Bret drives Austin into the guard rail! Bret drags Austin back to the ringside and slams him into the steps. Taker hits Vader with a belly to back suplex! Bret sends Austin face first into the post, and we are out!

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