NEW WORLD WHAT?
For the first time since June of 1993, Hulk Hogan is going to set foot on a WWF Pay-Per-View telecast this Sunday night. Joining him will be Kevin Nash, and Scott Hall. These three men have held a combined 6 World Heavyweight Championships, 5 Intercontinental Championships, and 2 sets of WWF Tag-Team Championships. Their exploits as the New World Order have also been heavily documented, as it was instrumental in bringing WCW to the top for two years, as well as playing a role in having it killed just three years after that. They are three of the most famous superstars in history - and this isn't just a token appearance. They're back, and they're going to be part of the storylines in the weeks, and probably months to come.
But aside from all that, Stephanie McMahon got dumped on Monday night.
Is there anyone out there who doubts for a second that Smackdown! will NOT feature the WWF wrestlers shaking in their boots about the fact the boys in black and white are coming? Or someone rallying the troops in preparation to drive this evil force back to the depths of hell where they belong? Even though the WCW invasion bombed, at least people pretended these guys were a force to be reckoned with.
What we WILL see on Smackdown! is Stephanie McMahon crying about the fact she got dumped. Or maybe she'll be plotting revenge with daddy dearest and book him in a handicap match. Or she'll announce she's going to be Kurt Angle's manager on Sunday. Or all three of these will happen.
But this is important character development. Unless you're blind, or just one of those smarks who hates everything the WWF does, CLEARLY you can see that Stephanie McMahon is the hardest worker in the WWF and that's why she's so over as a heel. Shame on you if you believe the heat she's receiving is go away heat. Heavens no - people want to pay money to see her get what's coming to her. Like the time Jericho made fun of her breast size! WHAT A PAYOFF!
She'll set attendance records, and make millions for the WWF! I mean, THIS must be the reason EVERY GODDAMN ANGLE FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS HAS BEEN CENTRED AROUND STEPHANIE MCMAHON right?
The WWF staff sees her as elite! Sure, she was a little rusty on the stick when she first emerged, but after countless hours of perfecting her craft (instead of giving those to someone who wrestles) she is among the top 50 mic workers in the WWF, and THAT is saying something!
I mean, where would the Alliance have been if they'd let Paul E. do the talking instead of Stephanie? Or how about that brief run Rhyno had with Stephanie as his manager? If HE'D done the talking, he might have blown the whole angle, and he certainly would have never won the prestigious WCW United States Heavyweight Title, from one of the greatest champions EVER in Tajiri.
She was notorious in getting HHH to the top. Without the wedding angle, people never would have taken him seriously. The street fight with Mick Foley would have gone unnoticed, and been handed a mere ** by smarks rating the match. But with Stephanie, he got just that much cooler, and things like his workrate came shining through.
She is smart, unlike those stupid wrestlers on the roster. She knows how to win every single time. She may have lost the war with McMahon in the Alliance vs. the WWF, but who's on TV today? Certainly not the guys who fought in it!
Who cares about the return of the New World Order... I just can't wait to see what twists and turns Stephanie pulls next! She's the centre of my universe, and should be in yours too!
New World What?
SPECIAL NOTE: This poorly written column was an excuse to do PREDICTIONS! I am going to do Excess and WCW Spring Stampede 1994 in the next couple of days as well, but I wanted to get the predictions out of the way. Pieman - I am going to add your rumble picks to the rankings as soon as No Way Out is in the books, I PROMISE!
Please note I have a new e-mail address, so just incase I was in your address book or something, update me!
WWF World Heavyweight Title