You are here
Guest Columns





I'll get to The Undertaker's appearance on Off The Record in awhile - but with the return of Hulkamania at Wrestlemania and the big draft coming up tomorrow night on RAW, what better time to review the following tape?

Here we have it - Hollywood Hogan: Why I Rule The World.

It's the WCW logo! During off days it's taken to the set of Star Trek and used as a communicator.

Hollywood Hogan at his Florida mansion. Living with Hollywood is living large. Hogan's going to show that one person who's been living under a rock that Hulk Hogan rules the world.

Michael Buffer introduces Hulk Hogan to the ring. Tony gives him a verbal blowjob.

Why did Hulk Hogan save WCW until last? Well over the years he left his mark - but the last place he had to conquer was WCW. The Flairs, the Stings, the Steiners, and the Lugers had to be put in their place, so he saved the best for last.

He doesn't just do things, he plans things. He uses his stroke and his power to time things perfectly. That's why his first match in WCW was for the belt. Once he took the title from Flair, they'd all have to come to him. WCW shakes in fear when they hear the name of Hulk Hogan.

Bash At The Beach 1994 is the place. Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair for the WCW World Heavyweight Title. I've never actually seen the full match, so I'll have to get the word from my friend Brooks who owns a copy. He says the match rules, and I'll have to go with that until I see the match. Hogan wins the belt in his first WCW match. Truth be told, the clipped version looks decent.

Hogan cuts a promo after the match, declaring everything old is new again. All the Hulkamaniacs went on a ride. Hulkamania's running even wilder than it ever has. Hacksaw Jim Duggan was real proud of him. So was Brian Pillman and Johnny B. Badd.

Some of the n.W.o. fans wonder how he survived his matches with Flair. He says Flair was his toughest opponent, but he watched him closely. He chopped away at the WCW god called Ric Flair, and at the end Hulk Hogan reigned supreme.

Flash ahead to Slamboree 1995, where the main event is Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage against Vader and Ric Flair. I USED to have a copy of this show - but my old VCR ate it up. I can say without a shadow of a doubt, this match DID suck despite having some pretty good workers in it. Hogan as usual pins Ric Flair.

Jimmy Hart was good for Hulk Hogan. He needed someone he could trust. When they started getting on a roll, he felt he could trust Jimmy with his life. He said Jimmy started to change, but he ignored it. He found out that Jimmy had a price.

Halloween Havoc 1995 - Jimmy Hart and Lex Luger turn on Hulk Hogan, costing him the belt against The Giant in The Giant's first match.

When he came to WCW, he proved he was better than all the wrestlers. However, the fans were loyal to the guys who'd been there forever. He learned that training, prayers, and vitamins were great for everyday life, but it didn't matter in the ring. The fans were more interested in their stars. So he stopped worrying about them. If he did something in the ring they didn't like, who cares? If he needed the move to beat one of their stars, so long as he got the victory. This brings us to Bash At The Beach 1996...

Mean Gene interviews Scott Hall and Kevin Nash, asking where their third partner is? Hall tells Gene not to worry, he's in the building. Nash says he's got enough to handle them RIGHT HERE! Cut ahead to the match - Hulk Hogan comes down to the ring after Luger was taken away. Bobby Heenan: "Who's side is he on?" Hogan hits the legdrop on Randy Savage, and slaps skin with The Outsiders. Heenan couldn't be happier to finally prove he was right about Hogan. Dusty isn't sure what happens to WCW. Gene is immediately in the ring to ask what Hogan was thinking. Hogan tells the fans to shut up if they want to hear what he has to say. It makes Gene sick to his stomach to see this. Hogan declares this the New World Order of wrestling. The crap in the ring represents the fans. For two years he's done it all for the fans - and for the reception, they can stick it.

Hogan needed the best guys to stand by him. He attracted the best talent in the world - because where Hollywood goes, that's where professional wrestling goes. Once he had his team it wasn't long before he took over. WCW fell fast.

The following announcement has been paid for by the New World Order: Hulk Hogan says the n.W.o. has taken over the world of wrestling. Clips of their attacks with the spraypaint on the trucks.

There must be sacrifices, including friendships to get what you want. At Hog Wild 1996 he defeated The Giant to reclaim the WCW World Heavyweight Title. After the match he branded the belt with the colors of the n.W.o.

To the match itself, it's clipped. Got this one in the mail last week actually - and it's pretty bad, but the rest of the card is decent! Hogan indeed grabs spray paint just like he just said he did, and spray paints the belt with the letters.

A lot of people don't understand Eric Bischoff - but they're exactly alike. You ride the horse until it can't go any further, then you shoot it and eat it. Once either one of the guys is down, they'll cut them.

Here's some clips of Hogan and Bischoff declaring their love and kissing. I'm not making that up.

Losing the belt to Lex Luger was one of the most embarrassing moments of his life. He was thrown into the ring with no warning.

Monday Nitro - August 4th, 1997. The 100th episode in Nitro history, Luger wins the belt! Who cares about quality, the match response is awesome.

So we head off to Road Wild 1997, where Lex Luger and Hulk Hogan square off, just 5 days later. Hulk Hogan reclaims the belt for the third time.

Talk about stacking the deck - Sting makes him sick. He's egotistical. He had the whole corporation behind him. Security was guarding him at all hours, and when the n.W.o. got rolling, the company would drop him from the ceiling, or send him in the back way where no one could see him coming. It was a pre-meditated attack by Turner to get his company back.

Hulk Hogan cuts a promo against Sting. He says he's tired of Sting, so they can bring him out for a title shot.

Even with the company behind Sting, he knew he had him. Just one look in his eyes, he saw the fear and he knew Sting could never beat him.

Over to the atrocity known as Starrcade 1997. The biggest buyrate in WCW to see Sting defeat Hulk Hogan - but not the way anyone wanted it. Hulk Hogan pins Sting cleanly with a 1, 2, 3. However, Bret Hart demands the match be restarted due to a (bogus) fast count, and Sting gets the win with the Scorpion Deathlock. Surprisingly, they DON'T speed up the tape here as they have in the past, including on the home video.

So we take off to the held up WCW World Title match - where Hogan and Sting meet again at Superbrawl 8. Now, WCW has a chance to redeem themselves by putting Sting over clean - though a little too late. STILL they manage to flub that by making this match even screwier than the FIRST! We don't look at that part at all - just the parts with Hogan beating up Sting. No finish is mentioned on this tape.

One thing about Savage is he's consistent. He always loses to Hulk Hogan. He knew when he wanted the belt back, all he had to do was take Savage. Just how much fun was he going to have with it?

Monday Nitro, April 20th, 1998 - Hogan calls out Randy Savage who won the belt the night before at Spring Stampede. Over to the match, Hogan and Savage run through their normal match, and Hogan scores the win when Bret Hart turns n.W.o.

Hogan says it isn't the first time he's seen it happen - the cancer growing within the other stars. Kevin Nash and Randy Savage thought they were larger than the sport and bigger than Hollywood.

Earlier in the night before Savage dropped the belt, Kevin Nash and Randy Savage lay the groundwork to the Wolfpac.

Goldberg is not a big star. He simply picked up the pieces when he was spent with Page and Malone. Goldberg has grown too fast, and has too big an ego. Hogan is going to prove that before he's dead and gone.

Monday Nitro, July 6th, 1998 - Bill Goldberg defeats Hollywood Hogan and claims his first and only WCW World Heavyweight Title.

More than once he's said where Hollywood goes, that's where professional wrestling goes. At Bash At The Beach, everyone had their eyes on Hogan. He used it as a chance to mess with the head of Page.

Bash At The Beach 1998 it is, where Hogan and Dennis Rodman take on Diamond Dallas Page and Karl Malone. Hulk Hogan pins DDP to get the win.

Jay Leno and DDP was a joke. He could have beaten either one at anytime. But as he was taking care of the old school WCW fans, Jay Leno scored one on Eric Bischoff. He might drag him behind the Harley next time.

Jay Leno main events a PPV! He and DDP take on Hogan and Bischoff. Watch as Hogan sells a hammerlock from Jay Leno! Cringe during the rest of the 15 minutes. Kevin Eubanks gets in the ring, and hits the Diamond Cutter on Eric Bischoff. Jay Leno scores the pin.

Hogan walks around his property while cheap porn music plays in the background.

Why did he retire? Well, he was having fun and wanted to put the business in check mate. He retired so he could prove WCW couldn't survive without him. The ratings and the electricity would drop. While he was at it - he ran for president. When he wins the presidency, he'll be the first man to be Heavyweight Champion as well as president at the same time.

Here's that fateful night, where he said he was running for president. He congratulates Jesse Ventura for winning the state of Minnesota.

Hulk Hogan rides around in official n.W.o. and Hollywood Hogan boats. This is so lame it makes me laugh. The music is the clincher.

January 4th, 1999, Hulk Hogan un-retires and challenges Kevin Nash to a World Title match. If you change the channel, you'll see Cactus Jack putting asses in the seats. Hulk Hogan pins Kevin Nash with the finger poke of doom, and reforms the n.W.o. I actually liked this at the time, and still kinda do. It was original. Goldberg comes back from the police station in time to take out the whole n.W.o. - except for Lex Luger who turns on Goldberg and joins the Wolfpac. Bischoff on commentary is hilarious here. Scott Hall with the tazer to Goldberg, and Hogan with the spray paint to finish him off.

Hulk Hogan and Kevin Nash - a special moment. Again, I did not make up that title. They talk about the match. Nash knew it was going to be the match of the year.

Early in the year, with Flair as the president of WCW, he knew it was going to be interesting. Sure Flair pushes some buttons and made him dance like a cat on a hot tin roof, but it was nothing he couldn't handle.

Superbrawl IX - David Flair tuns on Ric Flair and joins the Wolfpac, leading to Hulk Hogan retaining the World Title. This is the angle that brought Torrie Wilson into wrestling incase you're keeping track.

Hogan says he's the master of the mental game. He moves people like puppets. There's no better politician. Every night is a main event for Hollywood Hogan, and every night is another trip to the bank.

Off to Uncensored 1999. It's a first blood match between Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair, inside a 15 foot high cage surrounded with barbed wire at the top. No way in, no way out. Flair bleeds a couple minutes in, and the match doesn't end. Hogan later bleeds, and it doesn't end. Flair is handed a tire iron and knocks out Hogan. Charles Robinson counts a fast three count. All kinds of screwiness and general bullshit.

Hogan lifts weights. People wonder why he's so cocky and arrogant, even with all his money and fame? He says the shoe is on the other foot. HE made wrestling. When he stepped into the business, guys were travelling up and down the road with 6 guys in a car for a couple hundred dollars. There was no money to be made. Then he hit the business, and changed everything. He had a greater vision. With the merchandise and cartoons, he changed it all. He made the promoters change bodyslams into millions of dollars. Wrestling owes him the world. He gave it life. It'll live forever because of him. Man, the tape is worth picking up just to see that final speech - he sounds so damn confident. Brilliant acting(?) on the part of Hogan there.

Overall: ***1/2

Worth a peak, even if you've seen all the highlights, just to hear him talk. He basically sums up what people have been whining about him for years - that he's manipulative and a politician.

[slash] wrestling

Mail the Author
Visit my homepage for various columns on wrestling and other stuff
Comment about this article in Wienerville



Design copyright © 1999-2002 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications
Guest column text copyright © 2002 by the individual author and used with permission