You are here
Guest Columns





Pay-Per-View Prediction Leaderboard

Thanks to everyone who played this past weekend. We had 8 matches announced prior to the card, so everyone sent in their picks for those matches and we wound up with one person landing a perfect score on the show!

Aaron Brooks - 8
J.W. - 7
Fortune69 - 5
eiden - 4
James F-B - 4
shelej - 4
Me - 1

Yep, in month one, I'm sitting dead last. Next month I'm going against my gut feeling all the way and seeing how THAT turns out! Hopefully next month we'll get more EZBoarders playing?

On with the column.

I'm On The Big Screen TV Tonight!

My parents have this home entertainment centre setup. I'm normally not here for RAW, so this is great. I REALLY like Austin's new music, however I'd have really liked it if they'd dragged out the Hollywood Blonds music that Blitzkrieg later wound up using. Heyman knows how to draw heat. However, because his promos are so strong, he best watch out fans don't start cheering a few months down the road. I'm just waiting during this promo to see which WWF guy interrupts. My money is on Angle. JR's going through the same motions he did last time he sold out. Hey Jim, you're a moron if you believed for a second he wouldn't sell out twice. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. Vince hugged Kurt, so Steve got paranoid. Kurt's getting built up well here. For god sakes guys, hold off on blowing your load on The Rock for SummerSlam, and go with Kurt, I'm BEGGING you! So Steve promptly mentions The Rock. *sigh* Now don't mistake me for a Rock critic, I'm by no means against him. I just would rather see them follow up with an obvious route rather than turn to Rocky right away. Here comes Kurt!!! And he hasn't said a thing, he doesn't need to. Austin is completely getting him over as the man in the company by tearing him a new one. This I like! THAT is how to build a contender.

And During The Ad Break

We get the infamous SummerSlam ad that I've been hearing about with Finally The Rock Has Come Back To Pay-Per-View. I understand long term booking, that's a good thing, really! But come on, give Kurt a run for a month, have it fail, go to The Rock. I really think outside of the Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania, fans don't see any other shows that big, so bringing Rock back for No Mercy rather than SummerSlam isn't gonna kill you. Anyway, enough of that for the night. I think I've gotten my point across.

But Is The European Title On The Line?

RVD's promo was a little weak, perhaps he's out of practice? Just let your wrestling tell the story. Say, is the 24/7 rule still on the line? Nope, this is just for the Hardcore Title. I'd have only agreed to a Title vs. Title match, but he's probably too stoned to remember Hardy has a title? Oops. Sorry. They bring in a ladder. RVD against say, someone named Chris Benoit in a ladder match would be cool. Van Dam almost breaks his leg coming off the top. Wouldn't that have been a great RAW debut? Didn't Eddie Guerrero teach you anything? (Hey, that has a double meaning.) The frog splash onto the ladder looked, umm, ouch. As far as 3 minute matches go, that one rocked.

Christian Has A Football In His Hat

Hey, Dudleys and Edge and Christian in a table's match. Oh, Booker wants in. Elimination? That's got Paul E. written all over it. And that's not a bad thing in this case, for those wondering. Edge cracks me up by telling Booker "I pity the fool who goes through a table." For some reason, the Dudleys and Booker don't beat them down 3 on 2 despite being heels. Oh well.

DDP Drinks Water

Hey, why are Page and Kanyon getting along? Don't they remember the MONEY MATCH that never transpired? They have no respect for WCW's history. None!

If I Can Be Serious For 27 Seconds

Albert gets a small pop, which tells me Storm is a god in terms of drawing heat. Albert is loud. Hey, Nick Patrick is the referee, Storm's chances look good. Except for the fact he can't, you know, get a move in edgewise. Incase I forgot to say so, Albert is loud. HEY, I didn't see THAT coming!!!! YES! Holy hell, that ending was unexpected. And here come the troops which makes me say "It's time to move the Royal Rumble to August". The WWF wins this round, cause THERE'S A GLASS CEILING. Play Jericho's music, cause he's the more popular Thrillseeker and all. This ends the incredibly long streak of guys with one name holding the IC title at... 2. Hey guys, 2 great matches in a row, keep it going.

Give Austin A Standing Ovation

Hey, Kanyon runs in on the clapping for Austin. Austin's better than Kanyon. Kanyon agrees to alter his catchphrase to suit Austin. Come on dude, you don't need to take that from Steve! If he gives you lip again, go Owen Hart on his ass following a long SummerSlam tradition.

I Want A Tajiri Mastercard

Something seems a little off about this match. My brother immediately puts it all into perspective by saying "Yeah, Raven's slow." I suppose it's hard to argue with that. Here's what I hate about WWF matches - once you've lost the heat from your match, it's hard to get it back. They expect action, action, action. In pre-Russo WCW, those 15 minute matches could be slow at points and it's okay cause it's legitimate wrestling action if you get where I'm coming from? Tajiri finishes with the kick to the head, which is cool in some respects, but I can't imagine a PPV ending with it. It's like the Mandible Claw - neat move but is it a finisher finisher?

Hi, My Name Is Kurt And I Drink

I said to the boys last night who were watching the PPV with me that I was ready to cry when Kurt cursed and I quote "What next, drinking beer?" They laughed at that. I wish I'd been wrong. Damn cheap face tactics.

Rollin', Rollin', Rollin', GORE, GORE, GORE

I read earlier today that Sarah's 24 years old, which continues to make Taker the COOLEST MAN ALIVE in my book. Taker goes over cleanly, but if anyone has a huge objection with that they can e-mail me and we'll talk. Page for no apparent reason chases Sarah out to ringside. So Sarah promptly kicks his ass. She is SO my pick to win the women's title if they want to bring it back. Taker clocks Sarah according to JR. I wouldn't know, I was looking at signs in the crowd. (Thank you TSN.)

Who's Better Than Kanyon?

Hey, he kept his old music. They chopped off the Transylvania type start though to annoy me. It's nice to see him back with a decent spot, even as a guy to get Jericho over, I don't care. It's been too long. Say, where's Mr. Biggs with the champagne? Hey Billy Gunn, why can't you do a fameasser like that? Jericho with one of the nicer Missle dropkicks I've seen out of him in awhile. Man, I thought Kanyon had it for a second there, and that they've REALLY given up on Jericho, but Jericho promptly puts Kanyon in the Lion Tamer to end those thoughts. Call me crazy, but match of the night so far is right there.

Vince Is Dropping Bombs... I Hope He Flushes

We have a certain WWF superstar in the house. I hope it's Haku. No, it's The Rock apparently. If The Rock chooses to Finally Come Back, Vince wants to know if he can still go. Let's chant his name in New York. On behalf of the millions of Rock's fans, please come back cause we want to smell what he's cooking. Play The Rock's music. Of course, if I'm Rocky I come up with a thousand new catchphrases now that Vince stole them.

Kurt Smells What *I'm* Cooking

Kurt starts going off on what I've been saying all night long. Kurt says Vince needs him right now. Angle stutters. He's drunk. Vince says actions speak louder than words. So Kurt throws him against the wall. Vince doesn't crack a smile about being attacked this week.

Show And Bitchcakes

Okay, so this promo cracks me up. Those 2 say what everyone's been saying for months, and if they keep it up they'll get over. As a comedy team, they could work. And after the pop Show got last night, it wouldn't surprise me to see them get a push.

Paddle On A Pole

This ranks somewhere between Pink Slip On A Pole, and Viagra On A Pole. I imagine this is using the same rules as the Taser Ladder Match where you have to get it AND use it to win? Torrie hits a dropkick(!) and spanks Trish to win. No real point to this match, but it gets Torrie on my screen so I'm okay with this.

Main Event

You know what's funny? This is pretty much the same combination of main event we had all last fall/winter with the exception of Booker T, yet it feels fresh tonight for some reason. Perhaps it's the fact it's elimination? I wish Booker had his old long tights back. Since the ECWCW connection is invading, why not invade the announce table and get someone who's partial to their cause so we can hear their side of the story? I'm picturing Bobby Heenan, or Mark Madden here. Mr. T chant starts. We Want Angle chant starts. I like this crowd. Angle gets tossed into the steps, and suddenly E&C remember the stips and decide to set up a table. It backfires, Christian's out. Bubba goes for a table, let's see if backfires on the night are 2 for 2? Nope, Edge takes a spinebuster from Mr. T through the table. It looks really nice too. So Angle's getting beaten down 3 on 1. Rocky chant starts. Instead of simply putting Kurt through a table we spend all day beating on him instead. Ahh, finally it's time for D-Von to get the damn tables. Angle has a chance at putting Booker through a table, but chases the Dudleys outside, proving he really cause stupidity follows suit. D-Von DOESN'T go through a table cause it doesn't break. Ha! So we set up the table and try again and this time D- Von's out. I was kinda hoping they'd change the finish on the fly. The same finish happens AGAIN as Booker doesn't go through, then they have to improvise again. I suppose you have to stick to the booker's plan and all, but it would have been neat to see them have the heels take over because the table didn't break. Here comes the screwy finish, as Angle came THAT close but loses in the end, and the other guys run out.

Overall, a forgetable RAW, but I'd say most are anyway. By no means a slackjob however, the show was solid top to bottom and they seem to know where they're going into SummerSlam which is certainly a step up from last month. Give 'em credit!

from the ezboard

Mail the Author
Visit my homepage for various columns on wrestling and other stuff
Comment about this article on the EZBoard



Design copyright © 1999-2001 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications
Guest column text copyright © 2001 by the individual author and used with permission