Guest Columns | Ian Challis |
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JUDGMENT DAY 2000
Opening Match: Edge/Christian/Kurt Angle Vs. Too Cool/Rikishi: Angle's promo prematch is pretty damn funny, but he was still a little off from today's excellence. The Blondes are tag champs here, and they present their pose for the Louisville fans: The Jug Band! The poses were the greatest invention in cheap heat EVER. Too Cool get a BIG pop. Big ol' brawl to kick off, and the heels get stacked up and buttalanched in the corner. Kurt avoids Rikishi's attempt, however, and they regroup. Edge starts with Sexay, and Sexay gets a shoulderblock. Edge escapes a belly-to-back, so Sexay lures him into an enzuiguri. Second rope dropkick, tag to Scotty. Double clothesline, double elbowdrop. Edge gets a cheapshot and tags out to Christian, who fares no better. Scotty hits a suplex and dances, and Christian clobbers him. They do a cute spot where Sexay blocks Scotty's impact on an Irish whip, then Edge tries the same and gets pounded. Double Irish whip for Christian, double clothesline, and the heels bail again. Sexay dances his pants down, literally, causing Scotty to go into fits of hysterics. Christian jumps Sexay and mocks the dance, but Rikishi tags in and kicks his ass. Angle comes in and suffers the same fate, but he dodges another buttalanche and all three heels beat on 'Kishi. Christian in, and Rikishi swats him off and tags Scotty. Bulldog, and he calls for the Worm, so Angle nails him, putting him in the B-Boy In Peril role. Word. The heels do some standard quick tag and chokery stuff, and Angle suplexes Scotty for two as the crowd warms up "Angle Sucks". Christian in and he tries a powerbomb, but Scotty flips through and hits an over-the-shoulder powerbomb hotshot thing. I dunno, ask The Rick. Hot tag Rikishi, and he kicks righteous ass. Buttalanche for all three heels, and Angle takes the Stinkface. Rikishi hoists Edge up for the Fire Thunder Driver, but Angle and Christian double DDT him. He pops straight back up and knocks down both, so Edge spears him. He mocks the Worm, then falls victim to the real version from Scotty. Sexay superkicks Angle, and he too suffers the W-O-R-M. Christian sneaks in a ringbell shot for Rikishi and Edge covers, but Sexay hits the Hip Hop Drop on Edge, and Rikishi rolls over for the half-assed pin at 9:47. Standard pop-the-crowd opener, crammed with some really good wrestling.***1/4. And it wouldn't be a Too Cool match without some dancing...
European Title Match: Eddie Guerrero w/Chyna Vs. Perry Saturn Vs. Dean Malenko: All three are essentially heels here, killing any heat in the match. Dean's also the Light Heavyweight Champion, but that comes as no surprise. Saturn and Malenko beat Eddie down to start, hitting Demolition Decapitation early, to establish just who the face is supposed to be. They do some stompin', then Perry clobbers Dean off of an Irish whip double team for two. Dean and Perry fight, and Dean gets a leg lariat, then Saturn responds with a pancake. Press slam for Eddie, and Saturn goes for a suplex, but Dean catches Eddie, and Eddie low blows both men. Nice spot. Eddie fights off both and hits a buttbutt on Saturn, then an Essa rana on Dean. Rana on Saturn, but Dean catches Eddie on a pumphandle and slams him for two. Perry saves, and Eddie fends him off, hitting a tornado DDT for two. Dean saves and pounds Eddie. Butterfly powerbomb for two. Dean nails Perry, and Eddie gets a sunset flip, but Dean rolls through and tries the Cloverleaf. Saturn goes to break it up, so Dean clotheslines his head off. Eddie reverses an Irish whip and sits Dean upstairs. Superplex attempt by Eddie, but Perry hotshots him, then hits an overhead belly-to-belly. Man, Saturn's pounding on him like he was a jobber that messed up an armdrag. He goes upstairs and Dean shoves HIM down, then Eddie tries his luck again. Dean fights him off and hits his top rope gutbuster. Perry nails Dean and frog splashes Eddie for two. We HIT THE SWANKNESS, as each guy starts stealing the other's moves. Saturn starts off the plagiarism by giving Dean the Cloverleaf, but Eddie saves and hits a Saturnish brainbuster for two. Dean saves and puts the Rings Of Saturn on, well, Saturn, but Eddie hits a dropkick o' death to break it up. Eddie puts the Cloverleaf on Dean, but Dean rolls him up for two. Perry waylays both, but Eddie tosses him to the floor. Dean gets a belly-to-back on Eddie, and a frog splash. He nails Saturn, and they pull out ANOTHER great spot-a triple German suplex. Bossanova! Saturn hits the floor, and Chyna smacks him with her roses. Eddie sunset flips Dean in the ring but Dean holds on, then grabs the roses from Chyna as she tries a cheapshot. It's all for nought, as Chyna trips Dean and he goes face-first into the flowers, and Eddie gets the pin with La Majistral at 7:58. Eddie, king of cheating to win, reveals his lead friend lurking in the roses. Great, great match, which was sadly sold short by the fans in attendance.***3/4. Of course, Eddie would be massively over within the month, while the others...Well, yeah.
No-Holds-Barred: Shane McMahon Vs. The Big Show: Show's using the Aggression theme, and looking pretty damn cool too. He catches a Shane suicide dive ans smashes him into the ringpost a coupla times, then tosses him into the steps. Slam onto the steps, and Show press-slams him OVER THE TOP and into the ring. Damn, that looks cool. Into the ring, and Show literally kicks Shane's ass. Superkick, and Show calls makes the International Sign Of The Chokeslam, which is the cue for the run-ins to start. Bossman gets first honours, but Show smashes him and finishes him with a powerbomb. T&A come in brandishing chairs, and Show simply wallops the weapons back in their faces. Trish sneaks in and low blows Show, so he picks her up and throws her out of the ring! Nice bump there. Show beats up T&A down the aisle, and chases Shane to the entrance area. Shane gets thrown into the entrance structure, and Show pulls down a girder, but Shane manages to dropkick it into Show's face. T&A return and stomp the Show, and Shane runs an equipment case into him for two. Show fights back and kills T&A, and Shane tries to escape by climbing the entrance scaffold. Thankfully this was BEFORE Shane was certified legally insane. Bull Buchanan provides the rescue with his trusty nightstick, and puts Show down long enough for Shane to push an amplifier onto Show's legs. Shane grabs a "concrete block" and breaks it over Show's head "well, "breaks" is probably the wrong word to use..."crumbles" is more accurate)for the pin at 7:14. Pretty pointless little match, though Shane's bumps are always worth some attention.*1/2. The roadies help Show to the ambulance, and Show is drooling EVERYWHERE. Ewwww...
Iron Man Match For WWF Title: Triple H Vs. The Rock-Special Referee: Shawn Michaels: Fink announces BOTH men as the champeen during the intros. Ooops. Trip pulls a SHOCKING SWERVE, sending the Regime to the back because he "wants to win it on his own". LIAR! CHEATING POLITICAL-MINDED SCUM! Trash talk to start, and they fight over a lockup. Break, again. Into the corner, and they break it up and get into a shoving contest, then talk some more. You can feel the pace for the match being set. Lockup again, and Rocky grabs a headlock and works it. Trip powers out and muscles Rocky down into a bridge. Rock fights up and goes back to the headlock. Off the ropes, and Rocky gets a shoulderblock for two. Another for two. Rollup for two, and Trip bails. Back in, and Trip grabs a headlock. Shoulderlock by Trip, but Rocky knocks him down and he bails again. He milks the count, then stalls some back in the ring. Lockup and Rocky gets a headlock, then pounds Trip in the corners. Irish whip, and Trip gets a back elbow and a clothesline. FullarmdragandTWIST, and Trip works the arm. To the armbar. Rocky fights out, and Trip gets an armbar takedown for two. Back to the armbar. Ten minutes gone. Rocky fights up and pounds Trip, then hits Rock Bottom for the first fall at 10:44. Trip bails again, and they fight in the aisle. Rocky stays in charge around the ring, then back up the aisle. Trip fights back but gets whipped into the rail. Trip drops Rocky onto the barrier, and pounds him. Rocky dodges a high knee, but Trip punches him in the gut. Back to the ring, and Rocky suplexes Trip into the ring for two. He goes to work on Trip's knee round the ringpost, then takes it the floor. Kneebreaker on the steps, then back in for more workage. Figure four, but Trip won't submit. It gets a couple of two counts. Trip tries to turn it over, but Rocky rolls it back for two. Trip turns it over, and both guys roll to the ropes. They hit the floor, and Trip takes over with a clothesline. Into the crowd we go, and Trip backdrops Rocky back over the rail. Twenty minutes gone. Back in the ring, Trip shakes off the leg and stomps Rock. Suplex, and a pair of elbowdrops gets two. Trip holds Rocky down for a series of four nearfalls, but Rocky keeps on muscling up. Trip pounds Rocky in the corner and Rocky tries some shots to the knee, so Trip throws him to the floor. Rocky reverses a whip to the steps and Trip hits them knees-first. Back in and Rocky stays in charge, slapping on a kneebar. Tripper fights out with a legdrop, and both struggle up. Rocky gets another kneebreaker and tries the figure four, but Trip shoves him into the corner and hits the Pedigree for the pin at 25:28. It's 1-1. Tripper chokes him down some more, and gets an inside cradle off the ropes for another pin at 26:29. 2-1 to Tripper. Slugfest, and Rocky takes charge, so Tripper throws him through the ropes. he pounds Rocky down the aisle, and clotheslines him at the entrance. Rocky reverses a whip into the entrance scaffold and clotheslines Trip down, but Trip reverses a suplex. They fight back down the aisle, and Rocky hits a sloppy belly-to-back on the floor. Thirty minutes gone. Rocky beats up Trip round the ring, hitting a backdrop, as Michaels tells JR that "there ain't gonna be no BS countouts". Fair enough. Back inside, and Rocky goes back to the leg, but Trip gets a facebuster and a piledriver for a third pin at 32:24. 3-1 to Trip. Tri[ stomps a mudhole in Rock, but Michaels pulls him off and Rocky bursts out of the corner with a clothesline. Tripper gets a back elbow for two and goes upstairs, but Rocky throws him down. Both men down, and Rocky's first up. He fights back against Trip, and gets la Majistral(!) for two. Trip hits his high knee for two. They get into another slugfest and Rocky again wins, but Trip gets a sleeper. At this point, I'll mention the AWESOME commentary here. JR and the King were absolutely swank at their job. Of course, as soon as I write THAT, JR suffers a brain melt and calls the sleeper a figure four. Rocky fights up, so Trip puts his feet on the ropes, but Michaels catches him and break it up. Trip gets another sleeper, and Rocky counters with a belly-to-back. Both down, and forty minutes gone. Rocky rolls over for a two count, and gets the Smackdown DDT moments later for a pinfall at 40:35. 3-2 to Trip. Rocky drags Trip outside and pounds hm, but Tripper throws him into the ringbell. Shawn stops a chairshot, however, and Rock sends Trip into the steps. Swinging neckbreaker on the floor, and they go back inside. Trip begs off, then KILLS Rock with a chairshot, drawing a DQ at 43:42. 3-3. Of course, Rocky's down and out, so Trip pins him "with his feet on the ropes) to regain the advantage at 44:10. 4-3 to Trip. Both men are out on the ropes, and Trip gets a sleeper, eventually putting Rocky down again at 47:28. 5-3 to Trip. Trip keeps the sleeper on, so Shawn forces him to break, and they get into a shoving contest, to a BIG pop. Rocky struggles up and sends Trip to the floor on an Irish whip. Trip knocks out a camera on the way down. Rocky follows and beats on him some more, then back inside Trip gets a quick DDT for two. Fifty minutes gone. Tripper goes upstairs and gets superplexed down. Both down, and Rocky eventually rolls over for two. Rocky back elbow, and he clotheslines Trip to the floor. More Trip beatings on the floor, including a VICIOUS catapult into the ringpost. He comes back by reversing Rocky into the steps, then drags Rocky onto the table. Rock Bottom attempt, but Rocky blocks, and gives Trip the Pedigree, and the TABLE DOESN'T BREAK. Owww. Rocky rolls into the ring, and Michaels counts Trip out at 56:59. 5-4 to Trip. Trip's pulled out a sweet bladejob, and he begins crawling to the ring as the McMahons saunter down to the ring. Trip just beats the count at ( and 9/10, so Rocky pounds him. DDT, and Rocky nails Vince and Shane. Roody Poo spinebuster, and the People's Elbow evens it up at 58:02. 5-5. Shane pulls Michaels out, so Shawn flattens him with a right, then clocks Vince too. Trip throws Rocky into Shanw, and Shawn crashes off the apron. Rock Bottom, and DX arrives for a beatdown. They lay into Rock, and the Spooky Hopscotch video hits the TitanTron. The crowd goes INSANE, for The Undertaker is BACK at ringside on his beautiful Titan bike. He gets in the ring and just lays waste to the Regime. Big boot for Roadie, chokeslam for Shane, right hand for Vince, chokeslam for Pac. Steph gets in his face, so Taker grabs her, but Trip breaks it up. Chokeslam for Trip. The bell rings at 60:08, and Taker drills Tripper with the Last Legal Tombstone. There is a brief pause...and Shawn awards the last fall to Trip by DQ, giving him the title back. Final Tally: 6-5 to Triple H. BIG boos there. Taker stalks Shawn down the aisle as the Regime help Tripper out. Best Iron Man Match Ever.***** JR and King speculate on Shawn's call to end the show. Final Thought: Hugely recommended show, one of the best ever, and if you haven't sen it, get it NOW. There's some interesting discussion material, however...Between this show and present day, there is ONE major difference to the layout of the card-Road Dogg's been fired. Seriously, this show could be put on next week and be believable as a WWF card. Anyone else find that sad and/or worrying? Oh well, onto the predictions for THIS year's Judgment Day...
WWF World Title Match: Steve Austin Vs. The Undertaker I SAY: I dunno...I'm gonna go out on a limb and say Austin, seeing as Taker seems the slight favourite here. Rating:***
IC Title Chain Match: Triple H Vs. Kane I SAY: Kane will walk away with the title, as Operation Jacobs reaches it's peak. It sets up Trip's face turn, too. Rating:***
Medals Match: Chris Benoit Vs. Kurt Angle I SAY: Angle all the way, baby, by some nefarious means. I was thinking maybe Jericho heel turn, but after his announcement that he'll be in the Tag Team Turmoil Match I'm not so sure. Rating:****1/2
William Regal Vs. Rikishi I SAY: Really, really ugly match sees Regal go over in some fashion. God knows how. Rating: DUD.
Hardcore Title Match: Rhyno Vs. Test Vs. The Big Show I SAY: Test wins, and Rhyno Gores him post-match. Presto! Insta Feud! Rating:*
Women's Title Match: Chyna Vs. Lita I SAY: Lita wins. She's the lesser of two evils. Rating: DUD.
Tag Team Turmoil Match I SAY: Jericho will win it, regardless of who he brings with him. Will it be Tajiri? Or will be Road Warrior Animal? Rating: ***1/4 Well, that's it for me. I'll see you next week, for I am POOPED. New address is aciddropaciddropaciddrop@hotmail.com, so gimme a bell if you need to yell. Toodles!
Ian Challis |
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