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Scott Christ




This used to be called Megadeth, but now it's not. Actually, it has been called many things throughout my illustrious career as an internet wrestling journalist, but that's a story for another time, my friends.

Today's top story: Vince McMahon's butt not a favorite amongst internet fans. In this shocking development, it seems as though The Vince McMahon Kiss My Ass Club has angered a number of fans, and will, reportedly, alienate the viewers of the World Wrestling Federation until they quit watching.

Fantasy NBA: I am still in first, but now tied with Steve Schroeder's dangerous Bugeyed Devil Zebras. Feely defeated me in last week's contest due to abnormally poor performances from SHAQ~~~, who also got ejected last night. Hey fuck you, Shaq.

I did not like the Undertaker turn on Monday. It seemed like they didn't have many good ideas so they used JR. Or, as some might say, they "raped" JR. But some are idiots.

At any rate, I think the turn sucks and will accomplish enough to get Undertaker's remaining career a ride down to the corner of Jack St. and Shit Blvd. I just don't think anyone is terribly interested in booing an old guy that can't work.

What they do with him from here is another problem all in itself, because I think that it was proven that Undertaker in the main event won't draw with Judgment Day (tied for the WWF's worst buyrate of the year, and lowest since May 1998 -- thanks to Justin's Tuesday Update for giving me facts), and I don't see how (probably) reversing heel/face roles with Undertaker and Austin would make anyone more interested.

Let's not even get started on how very little I care to see Undertaker v. Rock or Undertaker v. Kane again, unless it's to make Kane a huge star, which wouldn't happen because Undertaker is a middling marquee name now, at best, and beating him just doesn't mean what it used to.

Man, what the hell am I talking about?

I think the WWF will continue to kick its own ass if things aren't resolved. This isn't 1998, and they can't re-run the same stupid McMahon v. Austin angle that I've seen six billion times before. Adding Ric Flair means nothing, because we're going to run into the same bunch of crap as before, where Flair backs Austin only to shockingly turn on him. Mean whoo by god Gene, the swerve, whoo elbowdrop. Who cares?

To me, they're doing way too much wrong now for me to hold out any real hope. The Rock and Steve Austin are by far their two biggest stars, with, I believe, Kurt Angle a distant, distant third. Chris Jericho is, somewhat sadly, fourth. Not sad because of who it is, but because of what he is, which is "not taken terribly seriously, no matter what he does." But that's where The Rock would come into that, I suppose.

Of course, all this could get blown right out of the water when Triple H returns, because I, for one, have no idea what they'll plan to do with him. The logic says bring him back babyface, but to fight whom now? Undertaker? Jericho?

Austin's babyface turn is all well and good as far as his beer-drinking goes, but I want some kind of real, traditional resolution to his conflict with The Rock. I don't want babyface-babyface, and after they're done, it wouldn't hurt to give me some heel Austin-face HHH stuff.

Part of Austin's problem drawing as a heel was that there was absolutely nothing going right around him. The invasion angle was fumbled terribly, Rock was gone, Undertaker was burnt out, Jericho wasn't used in a manner in which he could pose a real threat, HHH and Benoit both got injured -- the only moment of hope at all seemed to be Kurt Angle's brief face turn, which went nowhere and may as well have never happened at this point.

We're at the end of a tremendously disappointing year for the WWF. "It's a cyclical business," sure, that's dandy. It's El Dandy. But I don't care, business cycles don't mean the quality of the show has to plummet, or that the company seemingly can't do anything right at all.

Part of it was injury and bad timing, part of it was terrible booking/writing, and another part was just that a lot of stuff was lacking.

Some things they could do in the meantime would be to give Angle and Jericho a real purpose to exist, other than them just being dicks with lousy attitudes. Perhaps do something with Kane, who is running out of time to be a potential drawing power. Bring RVD along slowly, get HHH, and, eventually, Benoit back in the ring to liven things up, and don't screw up the Ric Flair signing, for god's sake.

Making the undercard more important would help. I think they're on their way to that. And, I'll tell you, for the first time ever, I finally see what all the hub-bub about Edge was about way back when. I think he'll be huge by mid-2003.

Oh, and do me a personal favor and don't split off into "two promotions." I don't necessarily feel like going into it, but I think that is a horrendous idea. Fish or cut bait, baby, and it's time to cut some crappy OVW-level bait. Apologies to Lash Leroux and Val Venis. And Steven Richards and Tommy Dreamer and about 40 other guys that are never going to do anything, and may as well just be salary dumps.

If someone were to sign the more talented ones (Venis? D'Lo?) and start a new company, maybe that would serve to make the WWF better. I certainly don't think any new company is going to hurt anyone, including the WWF.

Why did I write all of that? I don't care.

The Top Thirteen Wrestlers of the Week
1. Stone Cold Steve Austin (2)
2. Edge (5)
3. The Rock (1)
4. Bradshaw (3)
5. RVD (7)
6. Kurt Angle (6)
7. The Big Show (4)
8. Christian (-)
9. The Dudley Boyz (-)
10. Chris Jericho (12)
11. Tajiri (11)
12. Stacy Keibler (-)
13. Tazz (13)

Scott Christ
EGen Sports

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