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Mark Coale



Here's my column from July on my version of the (long awaited) WWF draft. Since the only place it was archived was at Sportsline, I figure now would be a good time to have it see the light of day again. - mlc


War of the Roses, McMahon Style

No, this isn't a column about the Battle of Bosworth Field, although there are any number of people who would say Vince McMahon is a latter-day Richard III. The reference we're going for here is the black comedy of the same name, starring Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner as a bitter divorced couple who get extreme joy out of making the other suffer.

Rumors abound that the night after the Invasion PPV, the Battlin' Bickerson of sports entertainment will finish their divorce proceedings and all of the WWF assets will be divided in two. You guessed it, Linda will get one of the two TV shows and presumably give it to Shane, leading to WCW is Raw sometime in the future.

If this indeed what shakes down, let's just get a jump on the game. There was so much positive mail on the armchair-booked Invasion PPV that we're going to do something similar here. With the help of my *cough* good friend Dr. Alquimia, Master of the Egyptian Art (preview issue of his comic on sale now), we conducted a mock draft with all the WWF assets. This includes all WWF talent under contract. Dr. Alquimia refused to be WCW, since that name is poison south of the border. So he'll be representing Vince, while I'll be picking for Shane (Don't Call Me Gregory) O-Mac. A coin flip goes to the good doctor, gets the number one pick. Alternating Rounds. Anyone is fair Game. And away we go.

Round 1

WWF - Steve Austin. Of course Vince would want his "good friend" Stone Cold. And the thought of WWF Champion in WCW is too much to take.

WCW - The Rock. Who else to build around than the Most Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment. And we can eventually turn Booker heel and they can feud over the use of the urunage/Rock Bottom/Book End.

Round 2

WCW - Kurt Angle. Vince doesn't want "the dork" around any more anyway.

WWF - Triple H & Stephanie. Entered as a package deal.

Round 3

WWF - Undertaker.

WCW - Kane. The Brothers Grimm are broken up.

Round 4

WCW - Benoit. So what if he's on the shelf for a year.

WWF - Regal. The WWF needs its comissioner.

Round 5

WWF - Rhyno. Vince doesn't want his new phenom to escape his clutches.

WCW - Jericho.

Round 6

WCW - Jim Ross. Vince protests, saying JR is the voice of the WWF. Shane points out that "assets" include everyone.

WWF - Paul Heyman. Vince doesn't both broadcasters leaving, noting Heyman's value "behind the scenes."

Round 7

WWF - APA - Rumor has it Vince was told to pick them "or else" according to Bradshaw.

WCW - Edge/Christian. Shane steals the eight-time tag team champions.

Round 8

WCW - Hardys. A run on tag teams, as they can feud with E&C, Three-Count and the Dragons.

WWF - X-Pac. Triple H keeps his old Kliq buddy from going back to being Syxx.

Round 9

WWF - Tajiri. Regal lobbies Vince for his "houseboy."

WCW - Lita.

Round 10

WCW - Mick Foley. Shane immediately names him new WCW Commisioner.

WWF - Albert. Vince loves the big guys.

Round 11

WWF - Bob Holly.

WCW - Test

Round 12

WCW - Eddy Guerrero. Shane knows that, when he's "back from injury," he can team with Chavito.

WWF - Tazz

Round 13

WWF - Michael Cole. Vince locks up the other announce team.

WCW - Jim Cornette. Shane says JR and Corny will be the best announce team in history.

Round 14

WCW - Raven

WWF - Big Show. Shane laughs because he didn't want that contract.

Round 15

WWF - Trish Stratus. Now that the divorce is final, he has his eye on Trish again.

WCW - Brock Lesnar/Shendon Benjamin. On advice of Cornette, Shane steals these OVW talents.

Round 16

WCW - Molly Holly

WWF - Dudleys

Round 17

WWF - Val Venis.

WCW - Jerry Lynn.

Round 18

WCW - Kaientai

WWF - Scotty 2 Hotty

Round 19

WWF - Justin Credible

WCW - D-Lo Brown. A loud cheer can be heard from Puerto Rico.

Round 20

WCW - Dean Malenko.

WWF - Billy Gunn

Round 21

WWF - Debra. Austin says "About Damn Time."

WCW - Crash Holly

Round 22

WCW - Perry Saturn

WWF - Rikishi. Vince says "what a steal."

Round 23

WWF - Al Snow.

WCW - Terri Runnels.

Round 24

WCW - Stevie Richards.

WWF - Tori

Round 25

WWF - Ivory. Vince appears to want to stockpile the Dvias.

WCW - Steve Blackman.

Round 26

WCW - Michael Hayes. Another "behind the scenes" guy who can also fill in on commentary with JR and Cornette.

WWF - Haku

Undrafted: K-Kwik, Spike Dudley, Goodfather, Bull Buchanan, Chyna (shock of shocks).

Not surprisingly, Vince went a big line-up, while Shane took more Cruiserweights. Vince took more Divas. Shane has more tag teams.

For ease of continity, no tag teams were broken up. Shane also was more daring, stealing Jim Ross from Vince and also the biggest diamonds in the rough from the WWF developmental roster.

Mark Coale
Odessa Steps Magazine

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