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Brady Conroy




His latest commentary has left me with no choice. I had always wanted to believe that the Warrior was a bit of a misunderstood iconic character, a man with his own convictions and motivations who maybe said the wrong things, but was essentially a good guy with a good head on his shoulders. However he has shot that particular theory all to hell with his latest self-serving lunacy, and I must attack it. First off, let me just take a few odd comments that show the fading mental state the man is in.

"I mean, there are men and women over a half-century old in the ring; none of them ever within a year's worth of heartbeats of having the physical or mental discipline I hold."

Now the only superstar over a half-century old that is wrestling actively, is Ric Flair. I do not know what woman he refers to, because there are none. I assume he is speaking of the WWE because his attacks focus there generally. Now is this man saying that he has greater physical and mental discipline than Ric Flair? The Ultimate Warrior is a man who does not deserve to shit in the same hotel complex as Ric Flair. Ric Flair is the greatest wrestler of our time. Say what you will about Lou Thesz, but as an overall performer, Flair (arguably) beats him. The Warrior was never good in the ring, and was barely a draw when he was put out there on his own. So I would love to see what possible way he could think he surpasses Ric Flair. Perhaps it stems from the fact that the Warrior, and I wish I could use a human name here but this is what the man calls himself, is a little confused. He actually believes all that stupid shit that came out of his mouth in those interviews. He was shooting the whole time. I like a good shoot, and was a fan of Shawn mentioning Bret's 'sunny days' and what not. But when a shoot consists of a man making up words and talking about the power of his secret society of warriors, then I think it's time to call the son of a bitch a whacko. And no, I am not basing this on quirks, as he bitches flagrantly most do when labelling him insane, I am basing this solely on his comments, which are muffled only by the presence of his own ass (since his head is shoved up it, you see).

In his most recent diatribe, he runs down a lot of things and people, and they offend me, but it is his high opinion of himself I find most disturbing. His complete ignorance of reality is insulting. He talks about his body. "The madder I became in the gym the more motivated I was to have the best physique, the most awe-inspiring intensity in Sports Entertainment." He lambasts Davey Boy for taking drugs, but he actually ignores the fact that he spent most of his formative years in the public eye juiced on more steroids than anyone else in the business. He basically states all drugs are harmful and for the weak. "Just because you ingest "prescription" drugs instead of "non-prescription" drugs doesn't decrease your chances of becoming one (an addict) any less.....When I was at WCW it was even revealed to me by Jim Neidhart that Davey and he regularly smoked crack. (Here's a drug for low-lifes and skid road losers.)" What is this fucking idiot talking about? Steroids are for winners but crack is for low-lifes and skid road losers? What the hell does this idiot know about crack? I've known people on crack. These people aren't what I'd call losers. Some of them have serious emotional disorders. To put it in terms the former Mr. Hellwig would understand, it's like roid rage except it occurs naturally, and desperate people turn to drugs to quell their suffering. (Remember roid rage, Warrior? That's what made you try to rip the ring ropes apart every time you came to the ring to have a one-star match, you asshole) I am not the Davey Boy Smith police here, and I don't defend the various vices he had. Nor do I presume to know what his challenges in life were, or that he was justified in his dealing with them. But they were private challenges. He didn't come out on a website and spew his views to a world not asking for them. If he had, he'd be a target. What did Smith ever do to be a target? That is what I want to know. He wrestled and he asked for no other facet of his life to be public. I respect a man who does that, and comment on nothing but his wrestling as a show of respect. And for what it's worth, that one thing in life he wanted public, the wrestling, well Warrior, he did it about four-hundred and seventy billion times better than you ever did. So why is it okay for the Warrior, with a chip on his shoulder, to come out and reveal information about David Smith? About his demons? If Davey Boy didn't make them public, what in the fuck gives Warrior the right to do so? Reveal something about yourself, if you're such a fucking hero.

Warrior then runs his mouth about principles. "I've always been about principles; and what is principled. I have always understood and practiced basic common decency, respect, civility, manners, etc." And yet as a man I find that he sucks. As a man, a great man he claims to be, I find him to be the epitome of human waste, and I wish I were speaking metaphorically here folks, but I'm not. This guy is living shit. What really irks me about what he said about the British Bulldog, is that he does what he does, which is bad-mouth a guy who is six feet under right now, from a pedestal that he has no right to stand on. What killed Davey Boy Smith was not the stuff the Warrior claimed Davey used to commit his "slow sure suicide". It was the stuff that Warrior built his career on. Steroids. And unlike Hogan, or Smith, Warrior never had anything to offer but a body. And Warrior attacks like his because he holds a grudge that would make Bret Hart himself step back and say 'whoa, bro, ease up, it's just wrestling.' Davey Boy Smith didn't want to testify against McMahon in the Warrior's trial. Ever since then, he has had no respect for him. One would think the fact that Bulldog got his ass canned trafficking some drugs for the Warrior to put into his body so he could become mad in the gym would have been enough. But no, the Warrior wanted David Smith, a man with no education and no other craft to piss away his last shot at the big time by smearing Vince McMahon in a trial. And McMahon, is a person who tried to, at the very least, get Bulldog into rehab. What did Warrior ever do for him? Grace him with his presence? Share a life philosophy that was supposed to be a gimmick? He did nothing for him in life, and he shits all over him in death. He shift blame, like a self-conscious prison guard who knows redemption is coming, and in the form of some pissed-off jailbirds fucking him up his insidious ass.

Warrior not only ignores that steroids killed Davey Boy, as early toxicology predictions indicate, while simultaneously not acknowledging the fact that he took them to build a career, but he then tries to exonerate himself for any guilt, by claiming the Bulldog's injury on the trap-door in WCW designed for, yes, the Warrior himself, is erroneous. "He was unstable and under the influence of something even then. Sure, records may substantiate Davey's back suffered an injury at some point and time..." So it was Davey's fault that WCW put a steel door in a ring designed for men to land on spine first for Warrior's debut. And that it was probably Warrior's idea. Well Warrior, fuck you, man. In a death like Smith's god forbid the Warrior, a man who played a role in it, should own up to something. But he never owns up to anything. He just casts stones at men who are either dead or too important to respond.

Before I touch the Hogan slander, I want to focus on a few other claims. The Warrior is obsessed with the idea that he 'succeeded'. When did he do this, and was I in the shitter when it happened? Here he goes: "Whatever criticisms people want to make about me, the fact that I succeeded -- no matter the angle of analysis taken to evade this -- is there and never disappears." When did this man succeed? Can someone tell me? He got over in the 80's on Hogan's undercard! Wow, so did fifty other guys! What, he had great matches in the ring? He didn't even have one. At least Hogan could be carried to respectable contests (Flair, Macho, Orndorff) the Warrior, even when working with Randy Savage and Rick Rude, produced shit in the ring. The one thing he did, that he 'succeeded' at, was his match with Hogan, which, I'm not sure if anyone told him, was a work. And if he thinks a goddamn person on the planet remembers him for any reason other than that match, he's even more of a fucking psycho that I thought. Hogan made him by laying down. That's the beauty of a rare Hulkster job. It makes men. Made Warrior, made Goldberg. Now how else did Warrior succeed? Someone tell me. He failed as a drawing Champion which meant Hogan would be brought back in, only to find Warrior and McMahon had done a good job at killing the business. When did Warrior succeed? I've yet to see a single person who ever went to or spoke highly of Warrior University. Or was it his comic book that three people bought? Or is it Project Warrior? That thing he still claims he's doing that he's never done, and is always spoken of in vague terms (because you see it's not really happening)? When did this man succeed? (When is, Never, Alex! You're right!)

Then this lunatic implies that people who aren't like him, aren't what he defines as "principled" should be out of society. "Darryl Strawberry and Scott Hall and Robert Downey, Jr. and Mike Tyson should at the least be confined till death do we part in a place with all their recidivist others, and at best terminated so as to protect the future gene pool." I won't even begin to delve into the applications of this, whether he was serious, or where he gets off re-launching Nazi agendas on a site by his own admission geared toward kids, and I won't even bother to question the grouping of men with drug problems in company with a serial rapist, but needless to say this is where I lose all semblance of respect for the Warrior. Who is he, honestly, to say who should and should not be in society?

After actually suggesting a course taken by Nazis, Warrior then attacks the WWE for its lack of moral fibre. "The absence of moral principle in the business, along with the crude, profane creativity, is why I don't, and will not, entertain anymore for a company such as Titan. Titan, spearheaded by the McMahons, long ago crossed over the propriety line. All the bank in the world does not change that. You know it. I know it. The whole thinking world knows it." Now hold on. I may just have to turn around on this whole thing. Warrior is telling me that the WWE is producing irreverent entertainment? That it's crude? Oh my God! I thought it was a Christian Rock concert! So now I'm not a member of the thinking world because I enjoy it? Wow, there's a real American ideology. I didn't realize that what the Warrior did in 1996 was motherfucking Shakespeare, even though it was far more crude than anything people get away with saying today. His interview with Goldust on RAW which aired April 8, 1996. He calls Goldust a freak (since Goldust was acting gay, you know, and that's wrong) Then he says whatever Goldust is into or who he screws with, Warrior doesn't give a shit. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but this man says, in his commentary. "Although there is much one can teach, motivationally, from having mastered his own craft, there are some worthier time-honored lessons public identities should be knowledgeable enough about so that they can teach them too, to an audience already sitting in the palm of their hand. And it is especially more important when your audience is kids" So what, Warrior, were you teaching the kids when you said that? Warrior really pissed me off with the things he writes about Hogan, folks. I won't lie. The things he says are absolutely ridiculous. "Do we call a guy who milked a philosophy of life -- one he pushed on and sold to kids -- that he really doesn't live by, a hero?" It's called, acting, Warrior. Try it sometime. Hogan said if you want to be like HULK HOGAN do these things, train, prayers, what have you...He never said if you want to be Terry Bollea. And Hogan has admitted he didn't live the life he preached, and has made changes. But Warrior presses on: "Do we call a guy who's whole life is absolutely nothing but a work, "real" and a hero?" I won't even begin to broach the hypocrisy of this statement. "Do we call a guy who turns bad and good and bad and good for the storyline and a few more bucks to add to millions already accumulated, a hero?" What? Is Warrior saying trying to stay fresh and make money is some kind of sin? Is it okay to make a few million, like Warrior did, but not to make tens of millions like Hogan? It's a storyline! Hogan was adjusting a character! Is he an asshole for knowing the difference between the man and the character? Warrior continues. "Do we keep calling him a hero when he sues the poorly-paid-just-trying-to-do-my-job storywriters for defamation, making the circus-like claim that they legitimately slandered his reputation?" So it's okay to spew years of unspoken backstage talk about a person, not a character? So it would be okay if Harrison Ford broke character and spoke of how Spielberg allegedly held back younger directors, during a movie? The show is the show and life is life, and Russo shit all over the line between, and he got his ass sued for it and that's what makes Hogan being a non-hero? But Warrior is a hero for suing for the name he neither developed nor marketed? On the basis he came up with it on the spur of the moment? Shuster and Siegel came up with the name 'Superman', but that doesn't mean they had more claim to it than the company who made it famous. "Do we call the same near 50-yr-old guy (now a grown man, an inveterate, iconic role model for all the youth) a hero when he still refuses to exercise his mind and inspire us with ideas that are more serious and worthy?" So Hogan doesn't 'go deep' enough. And curse him for it, Warrior. Since it's obviously worked so well for you, you being the cash-cow today that you were ten years ago.

Hogan ain't a saint, but he's above and beyond Warrior. And I would point out that before Warrior came to WCW, he went on a huge rant, similar to this one, about how great a man Hogan was. That has been taken off the site, but I remember it well. All the things he claimed in this latest diatribe are not new accusations of Hogan, they all existed when Warrior went to do business with him in '98, but why then was Warrior so willing to herald Hogan? Maybe because it fit his purpose to do it then? Now he says Hogan sold out by going back to Vince? I don't know about Warrior, but If my dying father was lying on a hospital bed and told me to finish my career where it began, I'd be pretty willing to go back too.

All this would be fine. I would not take offence at Warrior not thinking Hogan a hero. But it is his actual role models, his heroes and those who he holds to this office that really makes him a retard. His heroes are the founding fathers of the U.S. Men who promoted Christian values even though they all, yes every last one of them it has been confirmed, had mistresses. Men who came into a land and used religion (something I think should be pure) and weapons to force the people already living there out of it, and then called it theirs. Men who wrote a proclamation about all men being created equal, but owned men as slaves, called them niggers and didn't think anything bad of it. These are heroes, Warrior? Well then Hulk Hogan must be the motherfucking second coming of Chirst.

The Warrior is by far the biggest, most hypocritical piece of shit I've ever seen in any walk of life. I wish I could think of an artistic, journalistic ending for this piece but in the long run it's better I can't, because Warrior, as a topic and as a man, doesn't deserve one.

Brady Conroy

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