Guest Columns | Corey D |
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COREY D vs. WWFE
Once again, 'tis time for yours truly to get on his soapbox. A LOT of things in the sPoRtZ EnTerTaINmEnT world have been pissing me off lately, so I'm going to lay down some smack on a lot of suckas. If you don't like it, then cram it with walnuts. Too Talented for the Double-D Divas Since Molly Holly knows way too many wrestling moves for a woman, she's been sent to Ohio Valley Wrestling to feud with one of the Godfather's former Ho's. Jim Ross also said that she can "work on her game" while she is there. Good point, Jimbo. The girl is gonna have to do some intensive training in order to reach the level of talent displayed by Torrie Wilson. I guess she should start by developing an eating disorder and getting a boob job. Oh yeah, and forgetting how to wrestle. Time for some Waltman Wisdom X-Pac is so versatile her can be either the best heel or the best babyface in the business. Just ask him. Too bad us rubes are too stupid to realise how great a talent he is when we sit on our hands during his matches and promos. Hey, just because the guy has stepped up his game to try and keep up with real cruiserweights doesn't mean we should care. Just because he's tight with Triple H doesn't mean he should be the on the A-level television shows and never job cleanly. He isn't over, but his career sure seems to be. Sean Waltman - the Steve Buschemi of professional wrestling. Go Away, Simba Shane McMahon takes big bumps once in a while in high profile matches. Shane McMahon can't actually wrestle. Shane McMahon takes up airtime that could be used to get someone who actually wrestles for a living over. Shane McMahon isn't over unless he's pulling a Foley or leeching off someone else's heat, such as Austin or The Rock. If you work for Vince, you don't have the balls to tell him that his son is just another Greg Gagne or David Flair. Shane McMahon thinks he's got the respect of the boys. Paging Hootie McBoob If Stephanie McMahon spent as much time writing scripts for WWF television as she does stuffing her bra with watermelons, we might get a logical storyline at some point. I knew Vince would pimp his daughter eventually. Well, here comes the Big Ass Billy Gunn and Paul Wright are a tag team. No one cares. If Vince was a real "evil genius", he'd fire them and their bloated salaries, then rehire them for a hockey stick and a pack of gum. This principle also applies to Shawn Michaels. Mean Mark, indeed I guess that Undertaker was pissed at DDP for not selling his offense like he had been hit with a nuclear bomb a while back. Taker was also pissed that some of the WCW workers didn't walk up to him backstage and introduce themselves to him, since he is a legend and all. I find this all pretty funny since he's a no selling grave digger/biker guy who has been getting the Goldberg push since 1990. But hey, maybe he'll put over that 45-year-old newcomer, DDP yet. Boy, would my face be red if that happened. Peace out, homies.
Corey D |
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