Memo to Dave Scherer:

Good call with your opinion that Chris Hyatte is just a poor man's Howard Stern.

Memo to Chris Hyatte:

If you'd like to continue your mutual masturbation sessions with The Honky Tonk Man in person, it looks like you'd better save your beer money:

Booking Information

The Honky Tonk Man is available for independent wrestling, autograph sessions, and interviews.

Wrestling: The fee is paid 1/2 non refundable deposit in cash, the other 1/2 in cash when I arrive at the building. I do not wrestle in Battle Royals and I do not wrestle in any matches that will be televised or video taped. All transportation and hotels are prepaid in advance by the promoter. The hotel must have shuttle service to the airport or the promoter will provide a rental car at his expense. I would need 1 table and 1 chair at the arena for autograph signing purposes. All proceeds from picture sales go HTM.

Contact honkytonkman@thehonkytonkman.com with all information and he'll get back to you about a price.

Autograph sessions: Autograph sessions are charged at a rate of $500.00 per hr. depending on the travel time involved to make the appearance. The fee is paid in cash with 1/2 non refundable, deposit and the other 1/2 in cash at the time I arrive at the session. Promoter provides any and all materials for the signing. All transportation and hotels to be furnished by the promoter.

All deposits need to be sent overnight or no later than 3 days from time of confirmation of the date. No advertisement can be run indicating my appearance until the deposits are received.

Questions? E-mail bookings@thehonkytonkman.com

Of course, Christopher probably has all this information memorized.

It's so nice to see the kid make a friend.

Memo to Chuck Palumbo:

Good effort for your first blade job.

Too bad you got squashed by a crippled biker and a former wrestling dentist.

Oh well, at least you didn't get beat up by Sara.

Memo to Joanie Laurer:

You aren't Julia Roberts.

You aren't Meryl Streep.

Have fun getting jobbed out in Hollywood.

Memo to Ric Flair:

Don't come back to wrestling, Nature Boy.

Enjoy your Time-Warner money with your family.

God knows you deserve it.

Memo to Bill Goldberg:

Don't come back to wrestling.

You crippled Bret Hart.

You think you're too good for professional wrestling.

Enjoy your Time-Warner money.

You don't deserve it.

Memo to Savio Vega:

Happy retirement.

Remember, only you, Shawn Michaels and The Rock have had the honor of losing to Steve Austin at a Wrestlemania.

Memo to Shawn Stasiak:

It's really funny when you run into stuff like a moron.

This doesn't mean you're over, though.

Jerry Seinfeld Observation of the week:

What's the deal with Steve Austin saying "What?" every 30 seconds?

Is he going deaf?

Does he get royalties every time he says it?

Or maybe, just maybe, Steve is turning into Damien Demento.

Think about it.