Is it funny how Tanvir wrote a column for [slash]'s first anniversary and now can't even seem to hold a conversation with CRZ?
Is it disturbing how I almost wrote a (purposefully) stupid poem about Essa Rios last year, and this year I almost wrote a (purposefully) stupid song parody about Raven this year?
Am I opening up with weird question in order to try to see how long I can go before saying anything of value?
Look, okay, I'll just come right out and say it: I love [slash]. (Like a good friend, no I'm not getting married to a website, shut up.) Now I typed that I'm struggling not to just to go back and delete and save myself of embarrassment. It's only the existence of a deadline that I get this done any year.
The problem is that I could tell you why [slash] is so great, but either I hate it because I'm not really saying anything (see name) or that I'm saying too much (see last paragraph) and there's so much stuff deleted, the recycle bin actually gets full and now none of this is making any sense so let me stop for a second.
I like the little things. I like how CRZ knows the names of all the referees - that's such an underrated ability, with all these guys who look similar if you're not paying attentiotn and don't have a photo chart in front of you. I like how Raven slaps his knee to signal the #2 knee lift. I like how Satanico sells every strike as deadly and how Ultimo and Shocker find a way to fit in that same wacky reversal spot every time they meet up like it's Roddy Piper's eye poke. I like Tazz caring enough to try to push actual competition between the two shows (and maybe a little bit that it's only Tazz who cares enough to do it), and I like how Al and Tazz are repeating their best feud over a announcing gig that never actually got around to having match.
I like how I can go one place to hear what's going on in the WWE, but I can also read someone's perspective of what happen in Ohio Valley, or Denver, or parts of Canada - things that I'll probably never otherwise hear about and are interesting to read about irregardless.
I like when someone finds a new way to talk that makes a dead topic seem fresh and new. I like it when people aren't afraid to logically stick to what they say, and even those who are only relatively literate. I like taking day long breaks in the middle of writing things and having absolutely no feel for them when I pick them back up, but that doesn't have anything to do with [slash].
[slash] is great because I get to read people who I normally probably wouldn't have read. [slash] is great because I don't have to worry about hidden motives behind what they're saying and what they're publicizing. [slash] is great because they took me in after I, um, left some other place, and CRZ puts up any bizarre thing I send his way (look for SLAMBALL coverage coming soon - or probably not), which saves me the trouble of updating my own webpage on a regular basis. [slash] is great because how many sites do you know that manage to get people to refer to it with brackets?
[slash] is great because it hasn't (yet) split into "" and "slash" brands, but that doesn't make any sense.
[slash] is great because it still is [slash] three years later. ECW, WCW, and many other things of lesser importance are gone. Steve Austin's gone. The Rock's gone (and good for him!) Things change. Things disappear. [slash] hasn't; that it's survived is an achievement in itself - that it hasn't sold out or changed or gone on long hiatus or shut down and relaunched and shut down and relaunched and then had server trouble and shut down is a big accomplishment in itself.
Hmm, I think I got off track again. I've got to come up with a good idea for one these some year.
If [slash] was a luchador, it'd be, well, it'd be Tienbalas Sr. because CRZ has this weird fascination with Alushe. I want to say Dr. Wagner for some reason but I can't explain it. (So it works well in the context of this nonsensical column.) Maybe his effective way to work produce a lot of content in different situations. And also, [slash]'s well known cheap low blow finish. Unfortunatly, [slash] is not a luchador, and sadly will not be working six man tags against the Solders From Hell this Friday at Arena Mexico. It's good, but not really that good.
To sum up, and really if I can pull all of this horrible mess together in a one sentence, something's truly wrong, [slash] is awesome because it stays true to what it is and doesn't screw it up and I'd like it to continue being awesome for at least three more years. After that, we'll have to renegotiate the contract - CRZ's due at least a 10% pay raise.
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