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Tom Dean




Well, figure I might as well write an article while I'm staying up waiting to see who wins the New York City mayoral election. If Mark Green loses this, he will be the Armando Benitez of New York politics. I hope he does win, but honestly, based on the godawful campaign he's run, he doesn't really deserve to...

First (and sticking to the political theme), let's share the results of last week's polls.

What would you rather see the WWF do?

Devote different shows to different promotions - 31 votes (63%)
Have everything under the same WWF umbrella - 18 votes (36%)

If the WWF does decide to portray its shows as being presented by different promotions, which would you rather see?

Two shows: WWF & WCW/ECW - 41 votes (77%)
Three shows: WWF, WCW, and ECW - 12 votes (22%)

So my readers have spoken... they want an "Alliance" show. I don't think any further deliberation by the WWF is needed... MAKE IT SO!

I discussed the first poll question in last week's article, so I won't speak further on that subject, except to say that I am in the minority when I say I would rather not see the WWF pretend to be putting on more than one promotion. (Not that this news surprises me.) I was a little surprised by the lack of support for the three-show option. Apparently, recreating the wrestling world of the mid-'90s was not as important a consideration to my readers as I thought. Or perhaps voters realized that one of the shows would get shortchanged by an inferior time slot. Or perhaps you felt, quite reasonably, that things would just get too damn confusing with three "separate" (cough) shows. If you want to explain why you voted as you did, on either question, drop me a line. If you do so, I guaran-damn-tee you that your thoughts will be posted here! On the Internet! Amazing!

I thought that was very interesting information, so I'll do another poll this week. This one asks:

What will be the effect of the Survivor Series main event on the invasion angle?

As always, I ask because I honestly don't have a clue what y'all think, and SUCKAS GOTS TA KNOW! I do feel pretty sure that it can't be the third choice I've got there. They just can't afford to continue standing around with their thumbs up their butt while this angle brings the product further into the fetid realm of the Ty-D-Bowl King. Something very, very dramatic needs to happen at Survivor Series. And for my money, that makes this the most exciting Pay-Per-View in recent memory. With that big Texas hoss Bradshaw... Whoa, sorry, I was possessed for a second there. But, I was serious about it being the most exciting Pay-Per-View in recent memory, since Wrestlemania anyway. More exciting than Invasion for sure, because I think most of us knew that Austin would jump to the Alliance there, and we also knew that the Invasion was just starting. Here, I really don't know what the hell is gonna happen... I just know that it has to be something monumental. And that, my friend, is what excitement is.

Umm, ok... said all that... now what... umm... jeez. Ummmmmm... woozle wuzzle?

("Woozle wuzzle"? That's what passes for entertainment these days? "Woozle wuzzle?")

Yeah, I know. But there isn't a whole hell of a lot going on, is there? Chances are that not much will happen with the Invasion angle until Survivor Series. And it's hard to get excited about the Survivor Series undercard, with so many stars in the main event. I guess we'll see Edge-Test for one thing. Christian will probably fight someone... maybe Hurricane, he's like the only other lightweight who ever gets on Raw or Smackdown... maybe Tajiri? Which reminds me... what in the name of Mjolnir, sacred hammer of Thor, was Big Show doing squashing RVD and Booker?? Not only is it stupid just because it's stupid... with Booker and RVD in the main event, it can't possibly lead much of anywhere. Maybe Show & Tajiri vs. Regal & somebody, I have no idea who. What about DDP? What about the Hardyz and Dudleyz? (End up against each other, I bet. Matt ogles Stacy, blah blah.) What about Tazz, and the never-ending "he doesn't fit in with the Alliance" storyline? What about that big Texas hoss, Bradshaw? What about Raven? (Yeah, RIGHT.) No one's even feuding with each other anymore... so how do you book PPV events? I dunno. Maybe they'll do a women's title match? I can hope!

Undertaker seems to be creeping back up to the top of the card, huh? Suddenly he's working main events and beating Angle and Austin. (By the way, why the heck did Cole keep calling the Austin-Taker match on Smackdown "the biggest in Smackdown history"? SOME restraint needs to be shown. How can it be the biggest match in two years when it had no buildup whatsoever in previous episodes?) Quite a step, considering that 'Taker was curtain jerking just a couple weeks ago. I suppose the Rock-Jericho feud and the Angle turn end up meaning that Taker is the top face remaining whose program is not set in stone. I guess that's the beauty of Taker, is that he can fill in in that sort of situation, and no one will wonder who this guy is to be fighting Austin or Angle. Personally, I kinda liked when they did the occasional Spike Dudley-Austin or Jeff Hardy-HHH type matchup a little while back. The larger question is, is it really fair that we have to watch Taker try to fit into leather pants, while Nidia languishes in the minors?

They should really do something with Kane, because they keep doing the Taker wins/Kane loses thing, and Kane is starting to look like quite the chump. Plus that match with Angle was just too terrific.

Apparently Tough Enough 2 is basically gonna be for indy wrestlers? That seems so stupid to me. Isn't the point of the freaking show that they teach normal people how to be wrestlers? I mean, obviously they're gonna get people this way who they can use quicker... but if viewers don't watch the show because no one is falling on their head, then they won't care about the winner and the whole thing ends up not doing much good, right? I don't like it.

This Hogan federation is probably our best shot to have competition for the WWF that can stick around more than three months. Say what you want about Hogan, and I'm sure you will... but to Mr. Joe TV Guy Who Knows Nothing About Wrestling, when Hulk Hogan walks into the room and says "I want to start up a wrestling federation"... well, Mr. TV Guy may have heard all he needs to hear. Because to that kind of person, Hulk Hogan IS wrestling. No, I don't imagine that the federation will actually be good, but who says it has to be good to succeed?

Wow! Mike Bloomberg won the mayoral election! They were saying the race was within 3,000 votes, but now Bloomberg is up by 30,000 and they're calling it... Huh, this is weird. Not that he won, which I expected as of about a week ago, but that they know it so early. Oh, well. He's got quite the recovery effort to deal with, taking on a city that is about to run up a massive debt, whose infrastructure has been severely damaged, and whose people are on a state of constant crisis alert. This Vince McMahon character also has quite the recovery effort, with the guys in underpants pretending to fight each other on behalf of different companies.

Hey, is there any big star from the old WCW who they haven't signed yet, who happens to be from North Carolina? Maybe they can bring someone like that in at Survivor Series. If he happens to be in the area.

Tom Dean
from the ezboard: Teenage Riot

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