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Dr. Tom

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HOW TO DO AN INVASION (IN FOUR EASY STEPS

I can see it coming, and I'm sure many of the WWF's fans can. The big "divorce settlement" scheduled for the day after the Invasion PPV will result in WCW being awarded the Monday night time slot. I think it's a huge mistake to cut the WWF's TV time in half, especially in favor of a promotion that's been pushed poorly and received worse. The main problem with it is that WCW hasn't earned it. Their "invasion" has been bungled from the start, and they're still getting a nifty reward at the end. That's insulting the fans' intelligence.

There are better ways to do this invasion.

Pay attention up there in Connecticut.

First, WCW needs to stay out of WWF main events. Fans may want to see WWF vs WCW, but I think it's obvious they don't want to see WCW vs WCW. (Reactions in the south may vary, but the Tacoma crowds were clearly less than enthused by the WCW matches.) I'd like to see Booker vs Austin, or Booker vs Angle, or Booker vs Regal. But I don't want to see Booker vs Buff or Booker vs DDP on a WWF show. If they book interpromotional matches, I think the fan reaction will warm considerably.

Second, WCW needs to be the heels. Shane consistently gets face reactions, and he shouldn't. He's leading the invasion. He's trying to disrupt the status quo. He's infringing on WWF TV time. Boo the guy already. The problem is, he's opposing Vince, who's been a heel consistently since WrestleMania 2000. If Shane can't be a heel, at least his wrestlers should. They're invading the kingdom. First of all, get as many of them on TV as possible. It needs to be more than just six or eight guys. Don't they have about thirty under contract? Get them on TV. Have them interfere in every match possible. Cause some titles to change hands. Hurt people. Cause chaos, for chrissakes. Don't have DDP just stand around and shoot Sara threatening looks; have him whack Undertaker with a video camera, then laugh and film Sara crying as her husband lies bloody and unconscious in the ring. (This, of course, requires UT to sell for DDP, which may present challenges of its own.) Make them do things to get booed.

Third (and this is the big one), have WCW "hijack" the WWF's signal one night. Imagine this: Raw opens with the usual music and epilepsy-inducing clips package. Halfway through, the screen goes black. Voices, including Vince's, are heard, frantically wondering what's going on. Then the WCW logo appears, covering the whole screen. "Here Comes The Money" fires up, and the first live shot we see is Shane walking no, strutting like his old man to the ring. He announces that the invasion is in full swing and WCW is taking over this show. The WCW Jobber Patrol jumps the railing, forcibly evicting JR and Paul from the announce table. They are replaced by Scott Hudson and Jerry Lawler. The first two matches are WCW matches, preferably high profile ones like a tag title match and a cruiser title match. (This may seem inconsistent with keeping all- WCW matches off TV, but it would work in the context of a hostile takeover.) Finally, Vince, realizing his own troops aren't going to save the day, has to broker a deal with Shane, with the ends result being that the Raw timeslot is up for grabs at the PPV. THAT would get WCW over, and legitimize their winning the Monday night slot. The absence of the WWF Jobber Patrol could be explained easily enough: they were having another meeting when the door was locked and barricaded. Simple enough, and it works for the story.

Last, book a bunch of interpromotional matches for the PPV. I'll even help out. The inaugural brawl (whatever that is), the Hardcore match, the payoff (so far) of Austin vs Booker, Jindrak and O'Haire vs the Dudley Boyz, and DDP vs the Undertaker. The stipulation is that whichever Federation wins the most matches gets the Monday time slot. Personally, I'd book the WWF to win the Hardcore match and the Austin-Booker match, but WCW carries the rest.

It makes more sense to expand Heat to two hours (6-8) and make it a WCW show. Once a month before the WWF PPV's, the second hour could be the hype show, while WCW retains the first hour. I can't shake the feeling that giving WCW Monday nights is profoundly stupid, especially with the way the Invasion angle has been handled thus far. Maybe Vince knows something I don't.

Dr. Tom
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