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| Guest Columns | Dave Gagnon |
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QUESTIONS AND COMPLAINTS *ANSWERED!* Complaint: WWF vs Alliance at Survivor Series will face in a "Winner Take All" match. Winner takes what? The WWF never established the stipulations! Answer: You, my friend, are an idiot. Look, it's WINNER TAKE ALL, what more do you need? The winner takes all. That's it. The winner takes control of the industry. Complaint: Oh yeah? If the Alliance wins, there's no WrestleMania so why bother talking about ticket sales? Answer: WWF or not, there would be a WrestleMania anyway. If the Alliance wins, they take control of the WWF so they will host WrestleMania anyway and make zillions of money. Why wouldn't they? Question: What Chris Hyatte is doing these days? Answer: Probably like Downtown Dave, Sean Shannon and Al Isaacs are doing at this very moment: cleaning toilets at a local McDonald's. It's good for Shannon though, he needs to lose weight. Question: RVD is getting depushed, whazzupwitdat? Answer: He main events at Survivor Series. Complaint: Mick Foley is a book shill. Answer: Yeah and you'll probably hate Chris Benoit in a few years too. These icons never last. Foley is a book shill, Hardys are stale, Austin holds people down, HHH is too much of a politician....what else? Complaint: I can't believe that wrestling knowledge isn't required to be a WWF writer. Why? Answer: To prevent people like you from entering the bookers meetings. Nobody wants to see Jerry Lynn main events WrestleMania next year. On a more serious note, what difference would it make if the guy was a booker before? Who would that man be? Dusty Rhodes? Bill Watts? Vinnie Ru? Shit, who you would want to see as a new booker for the WWF? The booker from MECW? Complaint: The Rock is holding down Chris Jericho! Answer: The Rock, since 1999, jobbed to Stephanie McMahon, Rhyno, RVD, Hardcore Holly, Austin, Undertaker, HHH (a dozen of times) and the aformentionned Chris Jericho. Relax, their feud isn't over. Complaint: The Hardy Boyz are stale! Answer: Welcome to reality. They always had the same set of moves. By next week, you'll probably get the pun in Hugh Morrus' name. Question: What do you think of the DVDVR top 500? Answer: Yeah yeah, Joey Abs is the bomb. Who fucking cares. Question: Why the WWF didn't sign Bill Goldberg? Answer: What makes you think that Goldberg cares enough about his fans to return? Complaint: The Outsiders will destroy locker room morale! Answer: Oh yeah, like Goldberg was a model employee who cared about his fellow workers. So why bringing Goldberg would be a good thing but bringing Outsiders would be a bad thing? Good one. If The Outsiders can bring revenues, if ANYBODY can, bring them on. Bischoff, Hogan, Outsiders, HBK, ANYBODY. And when you are on top again, get rid of them like they were a cheap prostitute laying on your kitchen table. At this point, I am sure it would be more profitable to bring HBK because they pay him thousand of dollars per week for NUTHIN' but promoting house shows in Winnipeg. Question: What's the difference between Scott Keith and God? Answer: God doesn't think that he is Scott Keith. Complaint: Who's booking in the WWF these days? Vince Russo? Answer: Real original. People, we got your point. Stop saying his name every time that a segment suck. It's like making fun of OJ Simpson. Complaint: There's way too many titles in the WWF! Answer: You're right. It's like Russo is booking the WWF these days! See, it does make a fucking weak answer huh!? I have a few questions that I can't answer though. Like whatever happened to all the people that said that Heyman would be the savior for the WWF? Or why the websites never publish the buyrates of PPVs that actually did well? When RVD is beating Rock, he is overpushed. When RVD loses one match, he is depushed. Why? I don't get your logic, people! Why the WWF keeps coming back at Nassau Coliseum when it's evident that those people don't give a shit about the product anyway? Tell me something: When something unpredictable happens on a WWF show, you call it hotshotting. But when they do logical booking, you call it stale. What's the matter with you? Why some people have the nerve to say that they predicted the wrestling's popularity decline when there was articles predicting this since **1999**. Who cares about the fact that people in the UK gets ripped off with the WWF pay per views? If they can enjoy a 90 minute game of soccer, why can't they enjoy Scotty 2 Hotty vs The Hurricane? You have answers? Good. I don't want to read them. I know the product sucks but I'm sure it would suck just as much with smarks' booking. Dave freelance Mail the Author Comment about this article on the EZBoard |
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