OK, wrestling fans. I've been gone two weeks and the nWo angle's in full steam. Ya---hoo. Rah. But that is not why I come to you here today. In fact, I'm here for a serious reason.

It seems that a porn magnate...er, "wrestling promoter"...finally took things too far this past Saturday. As most of you are aware, Vic Grimes went to the hospital damn near dead after falling off a scaffold at an independent show on Saturday night. I refuse to use the initials and give them free publicity

So this "promoter", Rob Black, who makes porn flicks or sells them or something but has no real knowledge of the wrestling business, decides to sign a "free fall" match between New Jack and Vic Grimes. Essentially, it's a scaffold match with a fancy title. The last time these two were on a scaffold, it was only about 15 feet high and they nearly killed each other. This time, they advertised the scaffold as being 40 feet high.

Long story short, Grimes took the big bump, missed the target, and is probably lucky to be alive. In fact, he is. He had asked for the ring to be moved, or else he would have landed square on the concrete floor. And if that's not bad enough, they had to *call an ambulance* to the "arena" to get Grimes to the hospital.

Several problems with a show like this:

1. Since most people are aware that they almost killed each other on a scaffold once already, it's a stupid idea to put them any higher than the mat.

2. People in the porn industry have no idea what wrestling fans want. Hardcore porn might still be in vogue, but hardcore wrestling isn't.

3. There has never been a good scaffold match that didn't have both Ricky Morton and Bobby Eaton in it.

4. If you're still going to be stupid enough to sign this match, PAY THE EXTRA FUCKING MONEY TO PUT A PARAMEDIC AT RINGSIDE!

I mean, Jesus Christ, I know nothing about promoting wrestling, and even I knew that. The wrestling business being what it is anyway, there should be a paramedic out there at all times. Remember your wrestler being lit on fire by trying to do a flaming table bump? Didn't you learn your lesson yet?

Hey, I'm as big a fan of hardcore wrestling as anybody--in the right context. But fire? Bad. Scaffolds? Bad, from both an entertainment and a safety standpoint.

And before you play the "he didn't have to agree to the match" card, hey, I agree with that. You couldn't pay me enough money to go on a scaffold to fix a stage light. I'll be damned if I'm going to let somebody knock me off the thing. But the fact that somebody actually felt this was a good idea is insane in the first place.

I'm sure some of the crowd loved it. I'm sure you had people chanting the company's initials like they were watching ECW in its prime. But this isn't ECW, where they knew how to prevent something more serious from happening. Well, there was Mass Transit, but other than that. This "wrestling organization" caters to the lowest common denominator, and somebody nearly got killed by taking that approach. My only hope is that somebody there who thought "Somebody might get killed" is happy they were wrong...this time. Next time...somebody might not be so lucky.

Jared Hawkins
freelance

*Wrestling* fans watching a *wrestling* program want to see *wrestlers* *wrestle*!

-Jim Cornette
Raw is War 12/29/97