HOBBES et LUKE:
A Story of Love and Betrayal in V Acts

Canuck Hobbes; Hobbes, nTo clown prince, desperately seeking affection

yyz Luke; Luke Johnston, webmaster, the Shooters, rightfully wary

~~~
Foggy Streets of London; September 1847, on America Online Instant Messager

Canuck Hobbes: Hey Luke
Canuck Hobbes: That was RUDE
Canuck Hobbes: Lukey Hoooooo
Canuck Hobbes: Luke do you like the Duke
Canuck Hobbes: SAPGETME WESTERNS
Canuck Hobbes: French and Steve are wanting you to chat
Canuck Hobbes: They want to hear your side of the story
Canuck Hobbes: I guess any story you have is false and flimsy as your mothers panties
when I ripped through them to stick my penis in her wet vagina
Canuck Hobbes: That was uncalled for, I'm sorry
Canuck Hobbes: I was out of line
Canuck Hobbes: So, people say you think I'm crazy
Canuck Hobbes: Also, your mom is a very sweet lady and she did a good job of raising
you
Canuck Hobbes: My girlfriend cooked chicken tonight
Canuck Hobbes: THE TURKEY'S DONE
Canuck Hobbes: A hunka hunka buuuuuurnin luv
Canuck Hobbes: LUUUUUUUUKE
Canuck Hobbes: TALK TO MEEEEEEEEEE
Canuck Hobbes: GIVE ME ATTENTIOOOOOOOOOON
Canuck Hobbes: I NEED LOOOOOOOOVE
Canuck Hobbes: OH OH OH OH OH, THE WHITE STUFF
Canuck Hobbes: OH MY GOD IT'S GOTTA BE LUKE
Canuck Hobbes: LUKE I WANT TO WORK FOR THE SHOOTERS
Canuck Hobbes: FAMOUS WOMEN AND HOW THEY RELATE TO MENG
Canuck Hobbes: BY LUKE AND HOBBES
Canuck Hobbes: You seem like a fairly nice guy. It's just the fact that you ignore me
cause that's probably what your mom told you to do when you deal with people like me
and the fact that you take your web site so seriously that drives me wild
Canuck Hobbes: Can't wait for that Nirvana box set
Canuck Hobbes: Remember that first time Luke?
Canuck Hobbes: I'LL MAKE LOVE TO YOU
Canuck Hobbes: LIKE YOU WANT ME TO
Canuck Hobbes: BABY HOLD ME TIGHT
Canuck Hobbes: BABY ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT
Canuck Hobbes: I
Canuck Hobbes: WILL
Canuck Hobbes: MAKE
Canuck Hobbes: LOVE
Canuck Hobbes: TO
Canuck Hobbes: YOU

Canuck Hobbes: Luke Johnston #### #### Dr. San Marcos, CA 92069 USA
Canuck Hobbes: Is that a nice area of town?
Canuck Hobbes: Don't get angry at me, I don't know how to find stuff like that
Canuck Hobbes: StevenDSchroeder: I wash my hands of this one. I don't want anything to do with it.
Canuck Hobbes: I'm probably going too far if Steve disagrees with this
Canuck Hobbes: You know what would be cool? If you lived on Dr. Wagner Jr. Street
Canuck Hobbes: LUKE
Canuck Hobbes: LUKE
Canuck Hobbes: LUKE
Canuck Hobbes: LUKE
Canuck Hobbes: LUKE
Canuck Hobbes: LUKE
Canuck Hobbes: LUKE
Canuck Hobbes: LUKE
yyz Luke: The last message was not sent because you are over the rate limit. Please wait until sending is re-enabled and send the message again.

Canuck Hobbes: LUKE
Canuck Hobbes: You made me go over my rate limiiiiiiiiiit, I might go into to deeeeeeeebt ... stalking you ... Oooooh Luke
Canuck Hobbes: Luke, not the Duke, younger and likes Nirvana ... but he doesn't wanna .... talk to meeeeeee
Canuck Hobbes: Luuuuuke, you may think I'm a crazy guy but all I want to do is make you french fries .... toniiiiiight
Canuck Hobbes: Ooooooh Luke .... you're a shooooooter .... but I think you're cuuuuuuuter, than Leo to meeeeee .... you see, we were meant to be .... a you and meeeee
Canuck Hobbes: LUKE, NO NUKES, HE LIKES TO JUKE LIKE OLD ALI AND IF YOU FUCK WITH HIM YOU GO DOWN FOR THE ONE TWO THREE
Canuck Hobbes: LUKE
Canuck Hobbes: LUKE
Canuck Hobbes: LUKE
Canuck Hobbes: LUKE
Canuck Hobbes: LUKE
Canuck Hobbes: LUKE
Canuck Hobbes: LUKE
Canuck Hobbes: LUKE
Canuck Hobbes: LUKE
Canuck Hobbes: LUKE
Canuck Hobbes: TALK TO ME
Canuck Hobbes: Why can't we be friends?
Canuck Hobbes: Luke
Canuck Hobbes: Please
Canuck Hobbes: Come on
Canuck Hobbes: I'll come down to Cal next summer and....ARG

Scene 3
Canuck Hobbes: Luke Johnston #### # Dr. San Marcos, CA 92069 USA
Canuck Hobbes: Come on
Canuck Hobbes: Lets be friends
Canuck Hobbes: LUKE
Canuck Hobbes: COME ON
Canuck Hobbes: IT'S NOT FAIR
Canuck Hobbes: YOU ANSWERED STEVE
Canuck Hobbes: PLEASE
Canuck Hobbes: DAMN IT
Canuck Hobbes: DAMN IT
Canuck Hobbes: DAMN IT
Canuck Hobbes: Luuuuuuuuke .... not Skywalker .... he's not quite a talker .... maybe just around me ....
Canuck Hobbes: He hates me for me, not because I know his address or because I confess, I think his website sucks
Canuck Hobbes: I love him for him, not because he's silent or because he might get violent if I IM him again
Canuck Hobbes: AND I'M SO GLAD I IM’ED HIM ONCE AGAIN
Canuck Hobbes: I give up
Canuck Hobbes: I'm sorry Luke
Canuck Hobbes: I'm not a stalker
Canuck Hobbes: I just want to be your friend

Scene 1

Canuck Hobbes: Luuuuuke .... you preach no nuuuuuuukes ...... you're not a coooooook like wolfgang puuuuuuck
yyz Luke: Did you need something?
Canuck Hobbes: A friend
Canuck Hobbes: Love
yyz Luke: Ok. Goodbye.
Canuck Hobbes: You
Canuck Hobbes: Luke .... is it ok if my first column for the nTo site is a love letter for you and includes your address?
Canuck Hobbes: FANTASTIC
yyz Luke: Excuse me?
Canuck Hobbes: Thank you so much Luke, now I gotta go write it, I don't have time to talk right now, bye

Scene 2
Canuck Hobbes: Luke Johnston #### #### Dr. San Marcos, CA 92069USA is the title of my piece
Canuck Hobbes: Luke Johnston #### #### Dr. San Marcos, CA 92069 USA
Canuck Hobbes: What the hell kinda area is that?
Canuck Hobbes: You live in some kind of project?
Canuck Hobbes: UH
Canuck Hobbes: UH
Canuck Hobbes: UH
Canuck Hobbes: UH
Canuck Hobbes: OOOOOOOH
Canuck Hobbes: LUUUUUUUUUUKR
Canuck Hobbes: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
yyz Luke: It's a regular neighborhood. What is your point?
Canuck Hobbes: Not now Luke, Daddy's working

Canuck Hobbes: You should explain your side of the story
Canuck Hobbes: Kawada vs. Vader is a good match but not as good as Kawada/Misawa
Canuck Hobbes: Eric S, one class act
Canuck Hobbes: Gang, I have no tolerance for rape
Canuck Hobbes: Crash Holly is good but so is Hardcore Holly
Canuck Hobbes: Fans, I just don't get, Chris Benoit
Canuck Hobbes: I don't care what anyone says I will always respect Hulk Hogan
yyz Luke: Which drugs are you on?
yyz Luke: And do you have Tourettes?
Canuck Hobbes: Sertraline and No
Canuck Hobbes: I'm never going to stop this and if you ignore me I'll find your email and if you ignore that I'll get your phone number and if you ignore that I'll make your parents get AIM and talk to them and get them to show embarrassing baby pictures of you
Canuck Hobbes: This is comic gold
Canuck Hobbes: Luke do you like ..... Puro?
yyz Luke: You are quite ... entertaining. I must give you that.
Canuck Hobbes: Better than Sean Shannon
Canuck Hobbes: What does he have that I don't? Beside a few extra hundred pounds and various problems coping with everyday situations
yyz Luke: lol
Canuck Hobbes: So, my house was broken into last night while I was IMing you
Canuck Hobbes: Some Indian
Canuck Hobbes: They caught him breaking into a camper a few streets away, he dropped his bag full of ID in our lawn
Canuck Hobbes: I thought it was you
Canuck Hobbes: Good God, you watched Greed?! What's wrong with you?
Canuck Hobbes: Good ol Chuck alone does not make for a complete Game Show
yyz Luke: Yes, I like the show.

Canuck Hobbes: I think the way Shooters needs to go is hire writters that don't like wrestling and then have them write Raw recaps

yyz Luke: What??
Canuck Hobbes: Well, all these wrestling sites take from the same basic pool of Delphi guys. I say go to the newsboards, the streets, the RTC, people who just post about wrestling and have never wrestled for a site. So many writters have the exact same style now, get writters that don't even visit these sites which forces them to invent a style of their own
Canuck Hobbes: Or something, back to acting weird
Canuck Hobbes: Did I say wrestled for a site? Good fucking god.
yyz Luke: Your suggestion is a good one.
Canuck Hobbes: The only way to protect yourself from Alien abductions is to cover yourself with your own excrement
Canuck Hobbes: Oh sorry, I was trying to send that to someone else

Canuck Hobbes: Lukey Hooooo
yyz Luke: What now?
Canuck Hobbes: I wrote a poem
Canuck Hobbes: Roses are red
Canuck Hobbes: Violets are blue
Canuck Hobbes: No one loves me
Canuck Hobbes: Like I like Lue ... err .... Luke
yyz Luke: Keep this up and I'm going to bring back Shooters Webcam.
Canuck Hobbes: Keep that up and I'll have more to masturbate to then just the pic on your bio
yyz Luke: How old are you?

Canuck Hobbes: 18 and I have a girlfriend. I'm not gay, just Lukesexual
yyz Luke: Darn. You're so my type.
Canuck Hobbes: I can break up with her
yyz Luke: You're not related to CRZ by any chance, are you?
Canuck Hobbes: I can be down there in a couple days
yyz Luke: Down where?
Canuck Hobbes: DOWN THERE
Canuck Hobbes: I'd be in your house
Canuck Hobbes: All up in your area
yyz Luke: If I ever caught you in my house there would be No Way Out.
yyz Luke: And it would be Judgment Day, no doubt.
Canuck Hobbes: We could have a Royal Rumble in your bed
Canuck Hobbes: Benoit,Chris 780 875 2804 Lloydminster, AB S9V0P0
Canuck Hobbes: You could be king of the cock ring
yyz Luke: That's enough. See you later.
Canuck Hobbes: LUKEY AND I ARE GOING TO HAVE BABIES
Canuck Hobbes: YA BRIGGIN?

EPILOGUE

Oyuno Media: Hello Luke
yyz Luke: Who is this?
Oyuno Media: Three guesses.
yyz Luke: Yeah, I know the obvious one, but I'm skeptical.
Oyuno Media: And why wouldn't you be? I don't really care at this moment if you believe me or not Luke, we have to talk.
yyz Luke: Ok. Start shooting.
Oyuno Media: As you might have heard I've been having some family problems lately.
yyz Luke: Correct.
Oyuno Media: I was informed this morning that my Grandfather has taken a turn for the worst and I have decided to go down to pay my last respects. No matter what my family thinks
Oyuno Media: Now, in a few days I will be leaving and I will be gone for a few weeks. I'll be putting someone in charge of the site that you are none too fond off. Now Luke, I want you to promise me, no fighting while I am gone. Do NOT take advantage of this situation.
yyz Luke: Whoever you are, this is kinda tasteless and unfunny.
Oyuno Media: Luke, I don't give a damn if you don't believe it's me. I just want your word.
Previous message was not received by yyz Luke because of error: User yyz Luke is not available.

Shooter Luke: Hello
Shooter Luke: STOP IMPERSONATING ME
Shooter Luke: AAAAAAAH THE JELLO IS BUGGED
Shooter Luke: I AM THE REAL LUKE JOHNSTON
Previous message was not received by yyz Luke because of error: User yyz Luke is not available.

JJ Stutzman: Sorry about those last two things Luke, it was me
JJ Stutzman: Oh wait...no
yyz Luke: Your lack of punctuation gives you away.
JJ Stutzman: Actually the fact that I have a completely different user name than the one that Jess used yesterday does.
Previous message was not received by yyz Luke because of error: User yyz Luke is not available.