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FINALLY HOT NEWZ HAS COME BACK TO SLASH!!!!!! And as you all know No Way Out is this Sunday and Ill have teh booking sheet and I'll also have THREE stories on Stephanies giant breasts!!!!! is reporting that Stephanies breasts are freaking huge and that their was VISIBLE NIPPLE SLIP on Raw! So check in on (lol!!) every few minutes for more updates on this hot story!!!

WWF has signed 2 Cold Flash Funk, The Harris Twins, Ahmed Johnson and Akeen the African American dream for when the companies splizzit!

My main man Mr Stumpy sent this hot rumour!

Hey dood! As you know, Vince was staring at Stephanies breasts on RAw and if you looked reall closely, Steph was staring at his grapefruits! And this is foreshadowing because the WWF is finally doing the incest angle! SCORE! It's about freaking time! Ive been waiting for years! Finally we get to see Vince and Steph making out on TV! And as you would say dood, I'll be wankurbating to it!!!


WWF doesn't have a clue what to do wit the Big Show anymore so on Raw they 're just going to have him drinking buckets of JR's barb-a-q (sp?) sauce in the ring for ten minutes!!!

Now I wants to send out valentines wishes to my hot girlfriend Torrie (not Wilson LMAO!)! Tonite, I'm going to show you my WORM! Lol! Your going to get hip hop with my hippo! Lol! My strudle is going to wrestle with your pie for the interSEXinental titel! ROTFLMAO!

And here is the No Way Out booking sheet! Thanx to my aunt, who is JRs mistress, for getting this for me! Pleese remember that the results ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGES!!!

Rob Van Damn vs Goldust - Goldust gets DQed for using shattered dreams! And then he takes an ANVIL and drops in on RVD's crutch! Then he jumps up and down on RVDs ballz while JR screams "NO, NO, NO, SWEET BABY JESUS, NO! THERE'S NOT GOING TO BE ANY BABY RVDS NOW, FOLKS! GOLDUST HAS LEFT HIM AS STERILE AS A GOVERNMENT MULE!".

Hardy Boyz (WITH LITA OMG!) vs Chucky (not the evil doll, lol) and Billy vs Akolights vs Teh Dudleyz vs Christian and Lance Storm vs Scotty 2 Hotty and Prince Albert - this is a tag team tornado elimination turmoil match or something! And the Hardyz only wrestle on paper view now because they are in the DAWG HOUSE!! And Billy and Chuck win because the WWF is all political correct now and they must give equal opportunitys to the gays.

Lil' Spike and Lil' Tazz vs Test and Booker Tea - Test tries to kick Tazz in the head but Tazz is TOO SHORT and Test misses! And then Tommy Dreamer runs in for some reason and DDTs Booker and tells Tazz "you owe me" and everyone is confused!

Trish Stratus vs Jazz in a bra and panties match - Jazz wins because no one wants to see Jazz in bra and panties!!

William Regal vs Edge in a best two out of three first blood brass knux on a pole match - the rules are that first you get the brass knux then you bust your opponent open TWICE to win! And Edge gets the knux and gives Regal a bloody nose! But thhen Regal pulls a second pair of knux out his trunks and hits Edge in the right eye and makes it bleed then pulls out a third pair and hits edge in the left eye and that bleeds so Regal is da winner!!!

Undertaker vs Rock - Kane runs in and chokelsams Rock! And JR says "BY GAWD, THAT BIG RED HEARTLESS BASTARD SHOULD BURN IN HELL!" but then Kane chokeslams Undertaker! And JR says "YES, YES, BY GAWD YES, FINALLY THE UNDERTAKER GOT WHAT HE DESERVED, THANX TO KANE!!" and Rock wins!

Triple H vs Kurt Angle - originally, Stephanie was really going to be pregnant but she wanted to have an abortion! But Tripel H was against it, but Angle was pro choice, so they would have an abortion kit on a pole match!! But some Christians complained they changed it and now Stephanie is the guest referee adn she wears a TIGHT shirt and you can see her boobies jiggle and she wears TIGHT shorts that go all the way up the crack of her ass! And Tripel H wins since he's go political pull.

Stone Cold Steve Austin vs Chris Jeriko - nobodys watching the match theyre all watching for the NWO! And finally Hogan, Hall and Nash come out and run in, but they don't attack Austin or Jericho, they just play air guitar! And Jeriko pins Austin in teh cofusion!!


Bring back Sable...NAKED!!!

Hogan is old!

Nash is old!

Hall is drunk!

Triple H? More like Triple ROIDS!

Tazz chokes the chicken!

Bring back Saturn!

Jazz is my DAD!!!! (only hold this one if your black or it won't be believable)

And now for this weeks interview with the immoral Hulk Hogan! I saw Hogan on the streets so I ran up to him and got this exclusive!!

Me: OMG, the Hulkster!

Hogan: Uh, hi.

Me: Can I interview you, brother!

Hogan: Make it a quickie, brother.

Me: Okay, brother!

Hogan: Stop calling me brother, brother!

Me: lol, I remember when you said that to Nacho Man!

Hogan: That wasn't me, dude, that was that big stinky wart infested Huckster.

Me: Oh yeah! That was so funny how they made fun of you being old and crappy!

Hogan: No it wasn't, brother.

Me: Yes it was! Anyway, your going to come into the WWF soon and ruin it!

Hogan: The NWO is taking over, brother!

Me: And your going to kill the pay per view buy rates by having negative five star matchs -*****!!

Hogan: Uh, that's right...

Me: Do you want to fight Rocky?

Hogan: Rocky? I beat that Italian stallion back in 1983, brother! Me and Mister T both kicked his ass, man.

Me: No you fag, The Rock!

Hogan: Who?

Me: He's the biggest star in wrestling!

Hogan: He's the Hulkster? That doesn't make sense, brother!

Me: Do you even watch WWF tv, dood?

Hogan: I saw that Saturday night show one time. What's it called...

Me: Excess.

Hogan: That's it! That Sunny's looking real old now, brother!

Me: That's Terri!

Hogan: Who?

Me: Are you going to get a new finisher for the 21st centary? The leg drop of DOOM in lame!

Hogan: What you talking about, brother? The big leg beat Andre, it beat Savage, Slaughter, it beat them all!

Me: You never beat Yokozuna!

Hogan: I'll beat him in heaven, brother!

Me: But your going to go to hell for holding down talent and sucking!

(I ran away at this point! Hogan tried to run after me but he couldn't because he is old and patehetic!)


Hot Newz
Hot Newz

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