I AM BACK WItH MORE HOT NEWZ! And OMG doodz the big newz is that "BIG LAZY THE GOLDBERG KILLER" Keven Nash and Scott "ALCOHOL TASTES GOOD" Hall and Hollywood "OLD BALD MAN" Hogan have signed ten million dollar a month contracts with teh WWF! And they will be in the main events of every ppv and raw and Smackdown and drag the workrate down to NEGATIVE TEN STARS**********!!!! And if someone ha s a good match on the undercard the Hulkster will come out and say "Stop working so hard brother your making me look bad brother" and they will have to have a bad match!

Tazz and Spike Dudleyz tag team will be called short and shorter and Tazz is shorter lol.

Godfather, the bizarre Goldust, Mister Perfect and Val Penis (lol) wont be the only old guys in the Royale Rumble! Papa Shango and Kama Mustafa will be in it too! Then the WWF will release a Three Faces of the Godfather video! And Skinner the aliagator man will be in it 2!!!

WWA's next paper view will have Disco and the Disqo Duck versus the bannanas in pjamas!!! And a big coconut runs in and Disco tries to take a bite out of it but he breaks his teeth! And then the coconut takes off his shell and it is Alex Wright! And he dances and Disco dances too but he can't keep up with the German dancing machine and he passes out and the bananas are the tag team champeons!

Tripel H and Stephanie will break up when Steph watches an old tape of Hunter hitting on Marlena (Terri Runels for you NEWBIE FAIR WEATHER FANZ) and she thinx it happened last week and she slaps him and he pedigrees her!

The rumour is that this week on Raw Jericho will read out a list of 100 hundred reasonz why he is better than Rock! And he'll keep reading and reading then good old JR will get in the ring! And JR will say "JESUS H CHRIST CHRIS, GIVE IT A FUCKING REST" then Jericho puts him in the walls of Jericho! and JR screams "LET ME GO YOU SON OF A BASTARD, IN 25 YEARS NOBODYS EVER PUT A HAND ON ME, I'LL SEND BRAD SHAW AFTER YOU". And Jericho quickly lets go and runs away!!!

Christian will get new entrance music performed by Pavarotti!

Undertaker has refused to lose the hardcore titel! So Vince will have the mean Street Posse and Crash Holly and Thrasher jump Taker in a zoo (twenty four seven REMEMBER!?) and they'll SHOOT on him to get the belt back!

Billy and Chuck will call there new finished THE PRIDE MARCH!

Tajiri and Torrie Wilson will split when she refuses to eat his sushi and he refuses to ear hers!

REAL NAME FILE:

Hulk Hogan = Terry "Thunderlips" Hogan

Kane = Isaac Jacobs.

Tazz = Pete Tazmania.

Ultimate Warrior = Mommie's Little Warrior (his mother was high in the sixties when she named him!)

Chris Jericho = Christopher Robins Jerichoman (JK LOL!)

EVEN MORE SIGN IDEAZ!

Regal's tea is Booker Tea's urine!

I'd rather be in Chyna...HAVING SEX!

What about MAVEN (not Raven)!?

Triple H takes roids....HEMMAROIDS!

Me: WEEEEELL, it's the Big Show!

Show: Hello.

Me: OMG UR HUGE!

Show: We're talking on the phone...

Me: You look huge on tv! ARe you bigger than your Daddy Andre was?

Show: He wasn't my dad...

Me: Then where did you get that Andre shirt that you threw at Hogan and made him cry with?

Show: You have a good memory, kid.

Me: Trish has good mammaries lol.

Show: Uh, yeah...

Me: Who would win in a pie eating contest, you or Rikishi?

Show: Are you making fun of my weight?

Me: Yes! How much have you eaten today?

Show: Umm, 12 hamburgers, 10 milkshakes, and a whole chicken.

Me: OMG!

Show: And that was just for breakfast!

Me: LOL! What do you think about peopel on the net calling you The Pig Slow?

Show: They call me that?

Me: Yeah! Cause you eat like a pig and you are slow!

Show: Do you have any serious questions?

Me: Who better than Kanyon lol!

Show: I'm hanging up...

Me: Wait! I have a question!

Show: Yes?

Me: What?

Show: What's your question?

Me: What?

Show: You heard.

Me: What?

Show: You immature little kid...

Me: What, what, what, what, what, what, WHAT!?

Show: Goodbye...

Me: ROTFLMAO!

(phonecall ends.)

BIZZACK NIZZEXT WIZZEEK WITH MIZZORE NEWZ DOODZ!

(Please credit ME when stealing my newz!)

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Edge to sell his teeth on Ebay? Test to be slapped by 12 women on Raw? Mr T to return to WWF as a ring announcer? Plus hot naked pics of Stephanie and Tripel H doing it doggy style and the Hot Newz archive click here!