SOME EXCLUSIVE NEWZ!!
I IS BACK WITH MROE HOT NEWZ!!! And the big newz this wizzeek is taht Vince is going to bring in the NWO to kill Rick Flair!!!! And they will kick his ass for the whole two hours of Raw then they tie him to a pick up truck and take him out to the desert and bury him in a desert grave! And Scott Hall has drank so much beer that he pees on the grave!!!!
Mistar Perfect, Val Penis (lol I got by the censors two weekz in a row!), The Godfather and that sick freak Goldusty are all back!!! And Gangrel will join them soon!!! And now we can party like it's 1998 LOL! And godfathers hoes will offer Billy and Chuckie suck jobs but Billy sez "No, were going to have a gaynal orgy with Goldust tonite!" and Bob Ryder will says "Raw is PrOn w00t!".
When Raven comes back he will have a pet raven (but it will be played by a crow becuze ravens are dangerous) and it'll fly in his opponents eyes and peck there eyes out!
My cousin who is a camera man for WWF got me the booking sheet for Royal Rumble on Saturday! but when I watched the Rumbel on Sunday the results were different!!!! So the WWF must have changed the resutls because they knew I had the script! ANd here is teh original booking sheet.
Dudleyz vs Short and Shorter - Tazz turns heel by suplexing LSD (Drugz lol) threw the ring! Then he makes out with Stacy and sez "Yeah, Brooklyn style, yeah, growing up in the HOOK, yeah, eating rats to survive, yeah, I always like tall women, but there wasn't no tall women in the HOOK, yeah, all the women were DEAD or in jail or ugly, yeah, Tazzmission baby."!
Edge vs Willy Regal - Regal drops Edge right on his head ten times in a row but Edge just keeps getting up!!! Than he hulks up, but Regal just punches him once with his bare hand the wins!!! Then Jonathon Roachman interviews Regal and Regal sez "Look you bloody sunshine, your a bloody pillcok, bugger off! If you must bloody well know, I had my knuckle bone removed and had the bone replaced with brass! So now I'll always bloody well have brass knuckles, BWAHAHAHAHAH, bugger off you dinnermasher!".
Trish vs Jazz - The special referee was supposed to be Sable! And she does the grind and distracts Jazz because Jazz butters her bread on the other side, if you know what I mean (she's a lesbo!). And Trish winz with the BACKSLIDE OF DOOM LOL!
Rick Flair vs Vince McMahon - Before the match Vince sez "I'm back on the roidz and before the night is over you will meet my roid dealer pal!". And evertime Flair runz u see his man boobs and they is disgusting! And Flair does 17 low blows in a row but then SCOTT STEINER his Ric with his big pipe (not his DICK lol) and then Vince winz and Vince and Scott eat steroids together in the ring while JR sez "NO NO NO, SWEET JESUS ON A CROSS, THIS CAN'T BE FUCKING HAPPENING, NO! THEY'RE GUZZLING THOSE ROIDS LIKE CANDY FOR GAWD'S SAKE!".
The Rocky vs Chris Jeriko - Rock and Jericho punch and kick each other for twenty minutes then they simeoltanesously (sp?) powerbomb each other threw tabels! But then the Canadian horsemen come down and they are riding there horses and they all have shock sticks like the Mounty did! But the Rock is wearing a shock proff vest under his shirt (hes wearing a shirt BTW) and he rock bottoms them all to hell, but then one of the horses kickz Rock in the face! ANd Jericho winz.
Royale Rumble Match - Rikishis and Goldust are number 1 and two still! But when Rikishi gives Goldustin the Stinky Face, Goldust SMILES and rubs his body!!! Then Billy Gunn is in and he kisses Goldust!!!! But then Brad Shaw is in and Bill and Goldust jump over the top rope to get away from the horny Texan!!! And Rikish gives Brad Shaw a stinky face but then Rikishi comes up yelling in pain!!! and he has thumbtacks all over his ass! But Brad Shaw sez he is only ribbing and they make up and dance, then Bossman comes in and Saturn and everyone fallz asleep but ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN it's the old dead undertaker!!! and he drives his motorbike right into the ring and the glare of the headlights causes everyone to fall out the ring!! But then Matt and Jeff come in together but Undertaker just double chokeslamz them out! Then Lita makes out with Taker!!! But then Maven comes in and Taker is going to kill him but NIDIA runs in and pushes undertaker out! Then Maven and Nidia makes out! ANd JR sez "BY GAWD, THIS IS A SINFUL AND LUST FILLED RUMBLE, KING! KING? ARE YOU BEATING OFF? GOOD GAWD! IN 25 I'VE NEVER SEEN MY BROADCAST PARTNER BEATING OFF! APART FROM JESSE VENTURA THAT ONE TIME WHEN...I'VE SHOUTED TOO MUCH.". Then Undertaker drags Maven backstage UNDER THE BOTTOM ROPE and throwz him in a dumpster! Then Christian, Palumbo, DDP, Test, Raven, Justin Incredible, Taka, Essa Rios, Gangrel, Dean Malenko and Honky Tonk Man come in and everyones bored and chant "what". And then Austin comes in!!! and he stunners and throws everyone out and the crowd shout "what" for every stunner and every elimation and every step he takes and every move he makes!!! And then OMG it's time to Play the Triple H!!!! And his entrance takes 4 minutes and Hurricare goes in and gets eliminated will Triple Game is stlll drinking his evian! And then RVD comes in and Tripel H picks him up with one hand and throwz him out!! then Mister Perfect comes in and swats his gum into Triple Hs hair!!! And Triple H goes backstage and Stephanie gest the gum out by chewing it out!! and Booker Tea and Big Show comes in and then Kane and thatz all 30 men!!! And Austin eliminates everyone then Triple H finall comes back in with clean hair and throwz Austin out because it's all about the glass ceiling!! But then Maven runz in again cause he was never eliminated and throws out Triple H!!! But then Undertaker comes back in and eliminates Maven because he was eliminated by Giant Gonadz in Rumble 93 but Giant wasn't legal! But then Hulk Hogan eliminatez Undertaker because he won Rumble 91 so he's still in it!!! But then SID comes out eliminates Hogan as Revenge for Rumble 92!!! But then DREW CAREY runs out because he elimanted himself last year and that doesn't count!! and Sid tries to powerbomb him but his leg falls off!!! But then JIM CAREY runz in and throwz Drew out and sez "SOMEBODY SSSSSSTOP ME!"!!!!!!!!!
ROTFLMAO! Those most be fizzake spoilers! I mean come on, Jericho would never beat the Rock!!! LOL!!!
Hot Newz rullz!!!
When Chuck and Billy get silly who sux the willy?
Road Dogg? More like Road Drugg!!!!!
Test wears a vest!!!
Brad Shaw stole my innocence.
I hate Mexicans!!
Goldusts favourite movie is "Three MEN and a baby"!!!
Now for this weekz interview with Funaki!
Me: You can't speak Englisn and I'm interviewing you!! LOL!!
Funaki: I can speak some English.
Me: Lol! Your accent is funny!!
Funaki: You are big racist.
Me: INDEED! LOL!
Funaki: What the hell is SlashWrestling anyway?
Me: INDEED!! ROTFLMAO!!
Funaki: Why you just repeat the catchy phrase?
Me: OMG! You said Catchy phrase istead of catchphrase!!!
Me: Where is Taka is he in Japan?
Funaki: Indeed he is.
Me: U said indeed!!!!
Funaki: I'm hanging up now...
Me: WAIT!! What is your best match?
Funaki: I had a great match back in Japan with Dick Togo for Michinoku Pro.
Me: Dick Togo? LOL!
Me: By the power of Thor...YOU SUX!
Funaki: At least I have a real job.
Me: I'm a highly paid journaliste!
Funaki: How much are you paid?
Me: I get half a cent for every ad banner clicked!
Funaki: How you say...LOL DOOD!
(Funaki hangs up.)
Me: YOU JAPENESE KWEER!
Bizzack nizzext wizzek wizzith mizzore nizzewz fizzor yizzou dizzoodz!!!!
(Pleeze credit me when copying and pasting this newz onto your Geocities site!)
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