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ON-SITE: GREAT AMERICAN BASH
Drunk last time, that's it.
Just to help put this in perspective, when I arrived at the show (which I
KNEW wasn't going to sell out) I asked for the best available seats. I did
this merely out of curiousity, I planned on buying the cheapest seats and
then moving to the first floor like I always do, but it was unnecessary.
The best available seats were floor seats, right around the ring. Still
don't understand why I spent that much ($35) on WCW but oh well...on to the
show!
First match: Chavo Jr. vs. Disco Inferno. Wasn't expecting much and they
delivered. Disco and Chavo simply are not over in Baltimore. The Misfits
tried to be funny with the whole stash skit but no one was laughing. No
heat whatsoever, although the Filthy Animals sorta got a pop when they were
introduced. Their entrance is pretty cool live. Next....
The Paisans vs. Kronic - Back and forth match and isn't Vito oh so subtle
in trying to put over team tension by wearing the hardcore belt the entire
match. Don't know if you saw this, but the belt came off when he was on the
apron and he spent a good couple of minutes trying to put it back on. Very
audible laughs from the crowd. Uranage by one of the Kronic members starts
a Rocky chant, and I'm PISSED that someone did it before me.
DDP vs. Awesome - the only good thing in WCW right now is watching people
crack on that Paula woman who interviews them. DDP unfortunately does NOT
do a good job of this. DDP is WAY over, there were DDP chants throughout
the entire match, especially when he was getting his ass kicked. One of
the better matches that night even though it really wasn't a good match.
Kanyon getting up and turning of course made no sense, and DAMN but ain't he
a funny looking man. He talks funny too. "Eh-wick Bis-chaff wusz dee
oh-nlee one who wisited me!" Whatever Daffy.
Booker vs. Perfect Peeping Tom - As Booker sets up, right above me, I can't
help but unleash the 'remember Owen' chant. Similar chants heard
throughout. This was supposed to look cool ala Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart
but the line was almost completely horizontal and he went sooooooooooooo
slow that it sucked. Booker's heat is slowly vanishing. I don't understand
WHY Stasiak dominated the match when he pretty much sucks...anyway,
apparently NO ONE knew the rules ahead of time because the ten count thing
took people by surprise. OK, so disqualifications don't count either?
Unbelievable.
Shane Douglas vs. The Wall - Douglas provides us with possibly the FUNNIEST
moment of live television ever. Before the match, he gets heat for calling
people pieces of shit and whatnot, and then says that the Wall should face
him in a 5 tables match. He then asked the crowd if they wanted five
tables. A VERY CLEAR NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! "You hear that Wall? These
people just signed your death warrant." Match completely BLEW. Magically
appearing tables? What the hell? And the last spot took forever, and
looked like crap. EVERYONE knew the Wall would fall, he didn't even bother
to make it look realistic. What made no sense was the fact that he fell
through TWO tables, not three, and Douglas still won....hmmmm...wonder how
they explained that on TV?
A quick point. The reason WCW tables don't break well is because the
announce tables consist of a vertical board that is sorta like a semicircle
when looked on from above. Then there is a horizontal board on top of this.
When someone throws someone into the table, the usually hit the part of the
table where the vertical and horizontal boards intersect, thus not applying
enough force on the center of the horizontal board to break it. Even when
it breaks, it looks shitty because the vertical board doesn't break (if it
did, someone would probably be paralyzed) and the table is hollow. You
would think this is easy to fix.
Anwyay, next match is Tank Abbott vs. Steiner....hmmm...nothing to see
here, please move along. Snoozefest. Camel clutch...goodnight.
Hahahaha...haha..hahhaahaohhohoahohohohahahahaha.....did you hear the
pre-match interview by Hogan? "Hollywood Hogan means the good, the bad, and
the REAL damn ugly." NO SHIT! <-----------did that make sense? HELL NO!
And then he REPEATS it...oh my head. People booed half the show and cheered
like Hogan was the Lord or something. Sadly, Hogan clearly got the biggest
pop and the only sustained heat in the entire show. Probably because of
that hand to the ear thing and despite my chants of...oh never mind. Punch,
punch, punch, punch....he sold three moves, a rake to the eyes, a few kicks,
a dropkick, and a brass knuckle punch. Kidman got in NO offense at all.
This is elevation? Kidman and Horace fight the entire match....is Horace a
face or heel? Damn why is it so hard to make sense? Why are these little
kids dancing for Hogan? WHY?
The Flairs were next. Unnecessary Hogan ass kissing by Flair ("Go Hogan!")
but the match was decent, and Russo got his asshole chants. Nothing else of
note.
Vampiro vs. Sting - this match sucked, but the ending is the COOLEST thing
I've ever seen live. I'm surprised that Sting and Vampiro climbed up the
whole wall. Anyway, the guy was obviously a stuntman since his hair was
light brown and he was shorter. Very loooooooong match in the arena. It
took forever for them to set it up. But the payoff was worth it. Holy shit
chants start after the guy falls head first. From my angle it looked like
he was going to fall right on his head. I don't care what anyone says, this
is the best thing I've ever seen on a WCW show in a year at least. Oh, uh,
yeah, they didn't really wrestle however.
Last match, Nash vs. Honky Tonk Man 2000 - Nash, unfortunately is still way
over. I don't know about the Cat, I thought everyone hated him, but when
his music comes on everyone starts dancing. Literally. Even though he's
supposed to be a heel. Maybe its just the music. Total schmozz at the end,
must have been half the guys in the locker room. The Goldberg truck started
to roll in pretty early and someone saw it and everyone turned and
completely ignored the match for a good five minutes. Ridiculous. The turn
at the end was obvious. Nash is SO bad. Kick, punch, big boot, repeat,
rinse, dry....ugh
Even though Jarrett won, they played Goldberg's music. Weird: when
Goldberg speared Nash, everyone cheered....then the Goldberg sucks chants
began. Why oh God why oh why? WHY? Why is this man next to me CRYING!
Suck it up fool! Oh man, his SON is crying too? Jee-zus. The trash
throwers are on target. It was hilarious. People from the 2nd floor were
hitting Goldberg with amazing accuracy (are the Ravens in the crowd? I did
see a Ray Lewis Blew The Judge sign). Funny moment comes when Goldberg
starts knocking the trash down and throwing some back. That was it really.
Have you seen King of the Hill? Imagine those voices saying: "Now I just
can't believe dat dere Goldberg dunn speared Nash...fuck Goldburg...come
over here sis, lets go to the barn so I can release some of dis here
aggression."
Not for Hillbillies anymore.
Juggernaut
freelance
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