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| Guest Columns | Leroy Larson |
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A CURE FOR THE COMMON FAN I suppose the recent concern in the diminishing quality of wrestling has overshadowed a far greater problem heretofore unmentioned by many: the diminishing quality of the internet mark. To test my hypothesis, I entered the Yahoo chat pretending to be a fan who hadn't watched wrestling for a while. Here are the results. The names have been changed to protect the unknowledgable. Me: hey, i haven't watched wrestling for a while. anyone want to catch me up on what's been going on? UnsuspectingVictim: well where was wrestling at when you last tuned in Me: let's see. it was about the time the berzerker started out. Me: that was the viking guy, right? UV: who is the berzerker Me: wait, you have to know the berzerker. Me: how about skinner? UV: dude i have no idea who you're talking bout UV: don't know skinner either Me: papa shango? UV: heard of him but not really Me: max moon? Me: everyone loved max moon. now he was going places. UV: the most recent wrestlers now days are The Undertaker, The Rock, Triple H, HBK, etc. Me: yeah. i remember the undertaker. Me: i've heard of the rock, maybe triple h, but who's hbk? UV: hbk is the heartbreak kid Shawn Michaels Me: shawn michaels? the rocker? UV: yes shawn michaels the former rocker Me: marty jannetty could kick his butt any day of the week UV: well marty janetty didn UV: oops didn't last UV: The Rock is the current Undisputed Champion Me: undisputed champion? UV: yes undisputed champion Me: i think wcw would dispute it UV: sorry kingleo the wcw is no more Me: what??? UV: yes king leo the wcw hasn't been for a while Me: they had hogan fro crying out loud Me: koko b. ware was my favorite. anyone know where he went? (End of transmission) Troubling, isn't it. As a side note it's plain to see that UV has a severe case of Brethartitis whose symptoms which include preceding the acronym WCW with the definate article "the." Another chat had even more disturbing results. Consider the following: Me (after about 5 requests): won't somebody pleaaaase tell me what's happened in wrestling? my cable went out so i haven't been able to watch lately. Mark: rocks undisputed champ thats all you need to know Me: ok. that's a start. Me: but i kind of want to know about my favorites Mark: matt hardy smacked jeff with a chair Me: ok. never heard of him. what about repo man. what's he been up to? Mark: who in the blue hell is repo man Mark: u sick freeeeeeek Me: last i saw repo man was hanging british bulldog with his tow chain Me: u have to know repo man Mark: bulldogs dead my friend Mark: so is owen Me: wow! that sucks. Mark: and yokosuna Mark: and andre Mark: and brian pillman Me: well, i guess it has been a while Me: what about skinner? does he still chew tobacco? Me: vince mcmahon always said on superstars that he'd get gum cancer if he didn't stop Mark: no he made love to ric flair Me: who made love to ric flair? Me: skinner? Me: that's nasty! Me: so where's koko b. ware? Mark: half way up ur ass (End of transmission) Not to mention the so-called 15 year old "lifelong fan" who, when I explained why 1991-1992 was such a good year in wrestling told me I need to get a life. Man, she sounds like my MOM. So there you have it folks. The future of wrestling fans. Leroy Larson freelance Mail the Author Comment about this article in Wienerville |
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