NOT JUST PURORESU LOVE
This is yet another edition of "Not Just Puroresu Love" and I am your host for the program....well, my name is at the bottom of the page if you get that far. Here would be the part where I post some feedback or something, but I really haven't gotten anything from anybody recently. That would be an oh so obvious hint for people who read this column to send some feedback, hate e-mail, nude pictures of next door neighbors, or whatever to me.
OH DEAR GOD, NOT THIS....
Your lord and savior of 1998 is now back on the WWE booking committee. Vince Russo was hired back by Vince McMahon in an act of desperation to boost ratings, interest, and the tits and ass portions of RAW. The landscape of the WWE has drastically changed within the last week and for now, you can't say it's for the better. One of their biggest draws, Stone Cold Steve Austin, is gone for now and has turned into a wife-beater. Their direction is going north, south, east, and west. And now, Russo is back now to try to be the savior of the company. Who knows what we're going to be in for? Chris Benoit repackaged as a madman dentist (Isaac Yankem who?) who is fueled by his one missing tooth? Tajiri against Funaki in a "Chopsticks On A Pole" match?
In all seriousness, I hope I'm proven wrong and Russo does bring some life back into the WWE with some interesting storylines and angles. Just as long as he doesn't do any really outrageous booking and doesn't put himself on television again, maybe it'll turn out to be okay. Back in 1998, Crash TV worked. Excessive T&A worked. It's a different time and a different mood though in 2002. Fans want to be entertained still, but they also want to see good matches featuring good workers that don't end under two minutes.
THE ROCK RETURNS
With Stone Cold Steve Austin gone for who knows how long, the WWE pulled the trigger and brought back the Scorpion King star on RAW. Coming out to the Jesus pop of the night and looking extremely pumped up, the Rock cut a promo on how he is WWE for life and anybody who isn't should "get the F out." Granted, to some, the Rock's return and promo gave them a sigh of relief that everything will eventually be okay in the world of sports entertainment, but you have to wonder how long the Rock will continue to be in the WWE when he's making movies and millions for extrended periods of time.
And as with the norm, the Rock's return means the debut of a brand spanking new t-shirt that the marketing geniuses probably thought up of mere hours before RAW. What, no bull logo on the front or back?
FINAL KING OF THE RING LOOK
In the last column, I covered the HHH-Undertaker and Angle-Hogan matches that will headline this year's King of the Ring. That sound you hear right now is NOT the millions and millions knocking down their kid sister, picking up the phone, and demanding to order the 2002 King of the Ring. After watching Smackdown tonight, you have to wonder what other odds Triple H will face in the future. Triple H takes out the entire Smackdown locker room! Rumors of Triple H complaining to Vince and bedroom slut Stephanie that the "$50,000 camera" didn't sell enough for him and asking for the camera to be fired are....absolutely true. And since when does Triple H wear white shirts?!
The final four of the King of the Ring tournament consists of Rob Van Dam, Chris Jericho, Test, and Brock Lesnar. RVD against Jericho will be a good match if the past is any indication. I really don't expect a lot out of Test against Lesnar because: 1) Lesnar is still a rookie, 2) Test isn't good enough to carry, and 3) the crowd heat won't be there because both are heels. I expect to see RVD against Lesnar in the finals with Lesnar winning to get the hype push of the year. Out of the four, Test really needs the win. RVD is way over right now, Jericho's doing okay and winning the King of the Ring is almost like a step down from the Undisputed Title, and Lesnar isn't ready to be a full-time main eventer right now. Giving Test the King of the Ring would certainly be a shocker, but that won't happen.
You have to feel for "Latino Heat and Russo-like Stereotype" Eddie Guerrero. He was going into a program with Stone Cold and while he probably wasn't going to get a win over him on PPV, he would have gotten the rub and a little bit of elevation. Of course, plans changed with Austin's idea to live his gimmick and be a real life son-of-a-bitch. Now, he goes into the PPV against Ric Flair, a man who made a memorable return to the WWE back in November, but really has been shown to be a loser since. Either way, it's a bad situation for Guerrero and for once, it's not his fault. By the way, didn't these two have an angle back in WCW where Eddie stole Flair's watch or something? Somebody help me out here if I'm wrong.
Oh, and the Hurricane defends the WWE "Size Doesn't Matter" Cruiserweight Title against Jamie Noble, with Tough Enough Trailer Trash Nidia. It will probably be a good match, but nobody will pay attention...
And as with every PPV, many notable absenses on the card. No nWo, Booker T, Edge (due to injury), Christian, Lance Storm, Bradshaw, the Hardy Boyz, Billy & Chuck....etc. Of course, they could add something on Sunday Night Heat or give us an match on the Heat program itself. Wonder how many WWE workers are complaining about not getting their PPV bonuses?
THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR SPEAKS...
Unfortunately, we all understood what he was saying and not the usual gibberish that comes out of his mouth. One Warrior Nation! Yeah!
WWE WRESTLEMANIA X-8 IS OUT FOR GAMING PLEASURE...
If you are expecting a GameCube version of No Mercy (N64), you'll be sadly disappointed.
The game isn't a total waste of $50 plus spare change. You could always go into the Create Wrestler mode and listen to some really cool theme music like William Regal, Test, and Christian. Where is WWE The Music Volume 6 anyways?
NYC GETS A MOTY...
Apparently, the June 29th MSG card has changed yet again and we lucky NYC'ers will get a RVD-Guerrero Ladder Match for the Intercontinental Title. And Benoit will be there! So will Justin Credible and Tommy Dreamer! Tickets still shockingly avaliable.
That wraps it up this week. Send gifts of hate or love to my e-mail address. Now if you excuse me, I have to live for the moment like Jeff Hardy....and burn out.
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