Hello.

I am Buff McKenzie.

Your Friendly Neighborhood Superhero for the new Millennium.

Now I know all both of you were wondering where I've been the past couple of weeks.

Well, in addition to my normal superhero duties of patrolling the neighborhood and catching bad guys, not to mention a personal appearance or two, I've been on vacation.  The week after X-pac-mas, Buff watched absolutely no wrestling whatsoever.

Say it ain't so, Buff, say it ain't so.

It's so.

Also WCW decided to make my Flip Reports obsolete by having just one hour of head-to-head on Mondays.  What that means is that all you get (until I come up with yet another original idea) are the supplemental columns.

I know it tears you up inside, but you'll have to deal with it for a while....

Onward!

I know I said these would be about topics not being addressed, but I thought it'd be nice for the first column of Y2000 to start with some hope for wrestling this year...

First and foremost, I'd like to see internet wrestling reporters take more pride in their work.  Too often I view newsboards and stories that seem to be written by junior high dropouts replete with horrid grammar, misspellings and poor structure, both sentence and paragraph.  I realize that some errors are hard to catch with spell check, even your Buff superhero is guilty on occasion of a misspelling, but errors such as there or their in place of  they're or any combination of that error occurring in more than one place is deplorable.  Every time I see a sentence like "Dx is out and there beating-up Mankind," I cringe.  And that's the very least of it. I'd like to think that in this age of computers, people would have a grasp of the language they grew up learning and speaking every day.  But I guess I am wrong.  I may sound bitter.  I am.  I work as a computer support specialist at a major university answering phones and trying to resolve the problem without having to send out an on-site tech.  If you heard the butchering of the language that goes on here  by college students you'd weep for the future too.

I submit a challenge to my fellow CRZ columnists. I believe there's a good group of writers here - some of the best on the net, in fact.  I rarely see anything to complain about here, and I'd like to see it stay that way.  Let's keep the standards high for CRZ dot net.

Ok, Buff... breathe...

Second, I'd like to see wrestling continue to evolve and entertain - no resting on laurels.  ECW in particular is in a great position to make strides in '00.  I'd really hope that Paul E. has better production values in mind for this year.  Every time I watch ECW on TNN, I think how much better the show would be if they would spend a little coin and get a live production facility, multiple Beta SP cameras, better commercials, etc.  As it stands, it looks like it was shot by 1st year video students. And I should know - I used to be one.  But even if my film/video degree didn't translate into a high-profile Hollywood job, it is annoying enough for me to notice these things.

I think the rest has already been covered here and everywhere else.

Oh... I'd like to see Chris Benoit get a personality this year so I can legitimately see him as a sports entertainer, and not just a wrestler.  Sorry Michaelangelo (read his column, plug, plug), but it's TV, and as such things on TV should be entertaining - thus the need for personality and skills.  I respect Benoit as a phenomenal wrestler, but frankly he is DEATH on the stick.

Now for something completely uh, Buff-erent... or something....

My favorite entertainer in WCW right now....

David Flair and company!

You read correctly - David Flair. And I'm going to tell you why....
Right now it seems theses guys aren't very popular with many "smart internet fans."  To that I say rubbish!  Some smarts have an annoying habit of hating most things entertaining.  They want to see wrestling like it was in the "old days," with more technical wrestling and less talk.  If you want to see wrestling like it was in the old days, go to a local indie show - this is the 00's, people. I want to see entertainment - sports entertainment.  I want to laugh, gasp and see bare flesh of the opposite sex.  As much as possible of that last part, actually.  But I digress.  The fact of the matter is that for all his mat inexperience, Flair puts on a good show. He, Crowbar and Daphne make me laugh. I can't explain exactly why, but they do.  Perhaps it's the constant maniacal laughter, regardless of their situation.  Perhaps it's that they fight each other as much as their opponents.  Perhaps it's their laughing through interviews.  Maybe it's just that I think Daphne is hot (Buff likes Goth-girls... a lot). Actually it's all of those things.  Who cares that they are the tag-champs right now?  Belts have never been dictated by size or skill.  We all know that bookers put whomever they damn well please over as champ(s).  Get over it.
Bottom line - I like them, my buds like 'em, and as far as I know, many more "marks" like them. Relax, uncram your "smartness" from your chutes and be entertained.

Okay, so you've seen through my thinly-veiled ruse.  This column is about the ranting of smarts on the internet (I do like D. Flair and associates, though).  Every day I see more smarts proclaiming their knowledge and subsequently trashing things that aren't deeply steeped in wrestling tradition.  They bemoan the sexy product that the fed's have become and long for the days of Ivan Putski feuding with Jesse Ventura or some suchlike. This irks me.  All things must evolve, if you look at it in a Darwinian sense.  The fed's wouldn't be on the air if that was untrue.  Even ECW, which features more in-ring action, has its share of sex and extreme violence.
As a human being, albeit a super one, I have the need for entertainment to fill the boring moments of my life.
Try it once in a while; Leave your "smarts" at the door and watch with the sole goal of being entertained. Compare and contrast.  I think you may like it.

And before you start the flame war...
I acknowledge smarts right to be that way - hell I am sometimes as well, but it doesn't hurt to enjoy life once in a while, no?

That's what Buff wants you to do this year - enjoy life.

Next time: Pics of Buff in full Marilyn Manson/ Kiss mode from my previous band.  Be afraid.

And remember:

Be like Buff, behave.