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| Guest Columns | Mr. Shh |
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IRONY'S A BITCH Ya know, there are a lot of things you could say about that closing segment from last Monday's RAW… It was vile It was disgusting It was embarrassing It was pornographic It was homosexual It was rape? Whatever. From a storyline perspective, the most important thing we were given from that segment was an Undertaker heel turn. Some have labeled the Undertaker's actions as nonsensical. On the contrary, they made perfect sense. There was no "swerve" and the Undertaker was properly motivated. As a matter of fact, what the Undertaker did on Monday was more than just a simple heel turn. Was it even a heel turn? His actions had very significant levels of depth to them. They were multi-layered…symbolic, even. I mean, you do know *we* were the ones that forced JR to kiss McMahon's ass, right? During that segment, the Undertaker represented *us.* *We* were the Undertaker. And by "us" and "we," I'm referring to fans who have been more or less watching since the day Hogan first won the title in '84. I'm referring to the fans who have been loyal to Vince McMahon from the very beginning. Those whose loyalty never wavered. We, the lifetime fans, as well as the Undertaker, the eleven-year veteran, have put up with a lot of shit in our time. Look at some of the stuff that the Undertaker had to deal with… Paul Bearer, the man who had sex with his mother, being allowed into the WWF The Berzerker's sword Kamala Giant Gonzalez Kama melting his urn Mankind His long-presumed-to-be-dead brother Kane being allowed into the WWF And of course the big one, being forced to kidnap Vince's daughter to help Vince carry out his master plan to bring Stone Cold down. This is only a sampling of the Undertaker's eleven-year career. As fans, we had to deal with these very same incidents. We had to watch them on TV. We had to watch as Vince McMahon tried to pass these off as entertainment. Funny thing is, the list of what the Undertaker had to endure is infinitely smaller than what we had to endure. We always had to deal with an entire roster's worth of "stories." We have eaten up a lot of shit (disguised as entertainment) that has been dished out by the WWF. The problem is, we keep asking for seconds. We have, at one time or another, threatened to walk out on Vince if he didn't start respecting us. But we never do. Maybe we walk away for a little while, but something always brings us back. The Undertaker walked out on Vince in '99, but eventually he found his way back home. We have learned a lot about Vince McMahon over the years. We learned that he is manipulative, obsessive, a megalomaniac, childish, and spoiled. He'll have no problem whatsoever in making out with a girl half his age right in front of his wife, then turn around and make that same girl bark like a dog. But we still love the guy, and we always will. We have been figuratively kissing Vince McMahon's ass ever since he came to power. The Undertaker has been doing the same for eleven years. We, like the Undertaker, have been taken for granted since the very beginning. Vince never questioned our loyalty, because he knew he didn't have to. Vince will always have the Undertaker, and the WWF will always have its core group of diehard fans…people that will never leave Vince's side. It's the so-called "casual fans" that will come and go on a whim. They're the ones that will come around every once in a while and love the WWF because everybody else is. But eventually, they'll stop watching, they'll stop following. All of a sudden, the WWF isn't "cool" anymore. It was only a couple years ago that most anybody can talk about the WWF around the water cooler on Tuesday morning and have everybody join in. Nowadays, people will look at you funny when you mention the WWF, just like they did before Austin 3:16 was born. What, is the WWF stupid all of a sudden? Are these people saying we're stupid for watching the WWF? Are these people better than us? Who in the hell do they think they are looking down on ME for liking the WWF?!? You loved it as much as I did not too long ago. At least, you pretended to. The Undertaker took out his frustrations on JR because JR wouldn't kiss McMahon's ass. We take out our frustrations on pop culture, the casual fans, for much the same reasons: because they walked away, because they look down on us, because all of a sudden they're too good to kiss McMahon's ass. Once again, we're the rebels of pop culture. Once again, we're sub culture. Does that make us heels? I have a hunch that one day soon, the Undertaker will get a wake-up call, tell Vince to shove it, and walk away from the WWF on his own terms, as his own man. He'll end his very storied career on a high note. Us? We'll keep watching. Irony's a bitch, ain't it? Mr Shh from the ezboard |
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