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| Guest Columns | E.C. Ostermeyer |
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MIND SQUEEZINS There to Here No less a worthy than Mick Foley himself posed this week's Question of the Week: "We can't just not explain why things happen like we used to. (For example) Vince and Linda are back together now. The last time they were in the ring, Linda kicked Vince in the nuts. How'd we get from there to here? Huh?" Indeed. It would appear that Mr. Foley is echoing the thoughts of a good number of you WWF fans out there. How did we get from there to here? The WWF's Creative Team is in free-fall mode right now, with one veteran writer decamping to pastures new, and another one getting the boot for being in way over his head. Think you can do better? All it takes is at least five years writing experience, preferably in the soap opera field, (and doesn't THAT speak volumes about what we watch each week?), a fondness for near-constant travel, and that you enjoy working in a, ummm, "family" environment. Oh, and you should also be able, (on a weekly basis) to tell us fans how "we get from there to here." Continuity problems were the downfall of the old World Championship Wrestling. I know. I was a fan. I watched it happen. Those last tortured six months of WCW's existence saw bad storylines, pointless gimmicks, and angles that went nowhere. Remember the "Ms. Hancock's Baby" angle? The "resolution," such as it was, of that pathetic storyline was witnessed by yours truly live and almost in my lap at one of the last WCW Nitro tapings, in Knoxville, TN. The storyline was this: Stacy ("Ms. Hancock") Keibler was discovered to be "with child." Stacy was the main squeeze of David Flair, son of the legendary Ric Flair. It was discovered that David was not the baby's father. Predictably, David got progressively wackier, as he spent each succeeding week seeking revenge upon whoever he thought the father was. Then, David got injured, and the whole storyline got put on hold WCW lurched and tottered from disaster to disaster from January to March before staggering into Knoxville for the Nitro show. Not long into that show, down the ramp comes Stacy Keibler, modestly dressed, and pushing a baby carriage. And Stacy resolved the storyline then and there by introducing (God help us!) Shawn Stasiak as her "Mecca of Manhood," and new boyfriend. And the pregnancy angle? Just a means to an end, that end being Stacy's dumping of David Flair. A feeble, badly written denouement for what could have been the climactic finish to a decent storyline. And boy, didn't the fans at ringside let them know it? You should have heard those boos and catcalls. The same sort of thing is happening in the WWF today. Ever wonder why you don't see the bulk of the former WCW stars and a goodly portion of the WWF lineup each week? A lot of this neglect is because of the limited amount of airtime that the WWF has each week. You put your top star out front every chance you get, and whoever's left gets whatever's left. A good portion of the current pickle the WWF finds itself in can be laid at the door of the WWF Creative Team for not having the faintest idea of how to properly use and push any but those same top-carders. Well, when was the last time you saw Mike Awesome, Hugh Morrus, or Albert on TV longer than five minutes? What started last year with the WWF shortening the duration of their storylines from three months to thirty days, (literally from PPV to PPV) has now come back to bite them. The angles are suffering as well. Take Stacy Keibler once more. After being friends with Torrie Wilson, Stacy turned heel and feuded with Torrie over trivialities, their matches usually involving the forced removal of various articles of clothing. Now, Stacy is the valet/manager of the Dudley Boyz. Where'd THAT come from? Take Lance Storm. A proven, talented in-ring dynamo of a wrestler, Storm has been shoved from bad angle to bad angle by the WWF Creative Team with no apparent end in sight. Well, several angles present themselves to this fan as regards Mr. Storm. How about teaming him with Mike Awesome, for the rebirth of Team Canada, one of the more successful angles that WCW had at the end. Or, how about teaming him with Justin Credible, re-forming the Impact Players, one of the hottest tag teams ever to come out of ECW. Ivory could take over Dawn Marie's role. (What am I saying?! NOBODY could take over Dawn Marie's role!) But what really has to happen is for the WWF Creative team to start looking (and BOOKING) beyond the next PPV to give some continuity, some believability to the storylines they already have out there. Do that, and the fans will have a reason to tune in each week. The fans will know how the WWF got from there to here. Think I'm kidding? Who is involved in the longest currently running storyline in the WWF? Vince McMahon, Linda McMahon, Shane McMahon, and Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley. I rest my case. E.C. Ostermeyer [slash] wrestling Mail the Author Comment about this article on the EZBoard |
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