ONE SATURDAY MORNING
It's Saturday night at the moment, but whatever.
No more recapping old editions of WWF Super Stars for me, unless Goldust is involved. There are only so many times that I can watch The Bushwhackers take on The Body Donnas as well. Not that Tom Pritchard is an ugly man or anything.
So, No Mercy is this weekend and Stone Cold is going to beat the living crap out of Rikishi for running him over w/ that car. Not to mention that Rikishi destroyed Austin's truck on SmackDown. I don't know how much of a wrestling match this may be, but seeing as how Steve Austin has just come back from neck surgery, I don't think it will be much of a match. In fact, I'm predicting that Austin will pound Rikishi into the ground, drag him outside of the arena and then attempt to run him over only to be thwarted by the police. It sounds unbelievable, I know, but it's better than my original prediction of Austin raising Rikishi, who's in car, on a lift and dropping him 50 feet. That would be RIDICULOUS!
HHH will be taking on Chris Benoit. I'd like to see Benoit pull it out here and get a win over HHH but reality says that probably won't happen. Look for HHH to get PLENTY of air time during the pay per view while Benoit gets none. Stephanie will probably be upset with her 'tweener' husband because he is a bad ass that doesn't want his wife to get hurt at ringside during his matches. So, Steph will hand HHH a tape of Benoit applying the Crossface in an attempt to completely OVER SELL HHH's mental acumen. We're also most likely to see HHH play along w/ this wacky thing called 'match psychology' during the contest as well so he can go down in the history books as someone who was actually worth a shit. Benoit will end up working on oh, let's say, Helmsley's left arm. I also think HHH will pull out some new moves that require nothing innovative. Keep an eye out for outside interference, pedigree and a HHH win. You heard it here first!
Chris Jericho will battle X-Pac in a steel cage match. Y2J needs to finish X-Pac off because I've heard that he'll be turning heel soon and get a title shot against The Rock at Survivor Series. There is also the chance that Jericho may win and only end up in a pointless two month feud against someone like Kane. That's just a wild guess on my part, though.
The Conquistadors will return to the ring against The Hardy Boyz for the WWF Tag Team Titles. There's something fishy going on here, but I think that reviving the old Conquistadores gimmick is something that NONE of us will forget anytime soon.
In the main event of the evening, The Rock will defend the WWF Title against Kurt Angle. Angle will have Stephanie at his side, because they're business partners and not sleeping together. The payoff, which was HHH beating Angle last month at Unforgiven, will probably end up being Angle beating HHH in REALLY screwy fashion at the Royal Rumble. If Angle were smart, he'd get Trish to give him a tape of HHH applying the pedigree so he can counter it by biting HHH's balls off before 'H' can finish the hold. Of course, that would be a little too much because Angle is no 'cerebral assasin'. We all know that title belongs to beer! I'll take Angle over The Rock and we have a new WWF Champion.
There are my predictions for No Mercy. I'm off to write for Scott Christ's sports website now.