Guest Columns | William Ragne |
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RAGNE'S RINGPOST
As we look back over all of the wrestling World Champions we have all different types of people, we had Behemoths like Hulk Hogan, the Ultimate Warrior, we have had African American's such as Ron Simmons (Farooq), the Rock, and even Samoans like Jimmy Snuka (Look it up he was the first ECW World Champion). One thing the world of wrestling has never had is a red-headed champion! You think I'm lying! No sir ree bob I'm being totally honest. Check all the reviews by Scott Keith, CRZ, and who ever else and they've never reviewed a match with red-headed World Champion. (Bob Backlund was Strawberry Blonde not Red-headed) Why is this? Why has the world of Wrestling never had a red-head champion? They talk about people being held down all the time, for being lazy, having bad backstage behavior, and even because of there race perhaps, but why would someone ever be held down because they have red hair? I don't know but I'm going to get to the bottom of it. What made me realize red headed wrestlers were being held down of course was the firing of Lash Leroux. A once very promising talent was fired, despite the fact he was a perennial jobber along with the likes of fellow former MIA members Hugh Morrus, but why wasn't Hugh Morrus fired as well? Easy because he wasn't a red head! I called the WWFE offices and managed to eventually get through to a secretary when I asked her why the WWF was holding down the red head she's simply said "What!" and this wasn't a Stonecold what this was an I don't know what in the world your talking about what. However he's not the first red head to be fired and treated unfairly by the WWF in recent memory. Anyone remember Essa Rios? Yeah well he got the boot too just because he was a red head, and for crying out loud he died his hair red, he would've been fired far sooner had he been a natural red head. ***Hey what about Lita!?! She had red hair******* Hey! Quiet You! Your ruining my point! But to get side tracked for just one second I'll answer your question. The reason Lita is still with the WWF is because she wears a thong and is a girl! Okay that answer sucked but that's what you get for getting me sidetracked. However why do wrestling promotions all over the world to refuse to make a red head there world champion? Is it because a red head is so rare they feel the fans can't relate in anyway to the redhead? Whatever the reason is here are some of the reasons I feel that no promotion will give a read head a chance to be World Champion. Reason #1: They'd be to good! Think about what you could do with a Red Headed Champion that's never been done before. Just think about all the great catchphrases. "Fire in the Hole!". That's just one of the many things you could say. How about this though you make him the world champion and he comes driving up in a great looking corvette, the license plate reads just plain Fire. That would be cool. So they'd be way over with the fans and just think of the merchandising opportunities that could come out of having a Red-Headed Champion. The Brass is scared one they release the floodgates that the Red would just keep flowing. Reason #2: Red Heads have freckles. Let's face it could you take a champion seriously if they had freckles? No I don't think anyone would ever believe that they could beat guys like Chris Jericho, or even Billy Kidman for that matter with freckles all over there faces? No way Jose! Reason #3: Red Heads don't draw! Hey man it's true there's never been a red head that's drawn money. So did that make you think? Probably not. Do you feel dumber for reading it? Probably, but hey I don't think anyone else on the internet has ever done a column about Red Heads have never been champions have they?
William Ragne |
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