First things first-words cannot describe how truly, truly awful I found Nitro Monday night. Really. It was that bad. I think everything that was wrong with the show has been covered elsewhere, so I'll just say that Atlanta sucks rocks right now and they damn sure better go dark soon.

Now onto....THE XFL!!!! Yeah, WHOOO!! HARD TACKLES, WHOOO!! MICS ON COACHES, CAMERAS ON HELMETS, PUPPIES ON CHEERLEADERS, YEAH, YOU ROCK, JR!!! YEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHwow that excitment didn't last long.

But everyone knows how I don't like to dwell on the negative (unless it involves Triple H-HA!)so I'll look at some of the more positive stuff that's gone down since I last graced this page, like....oh, I don't know...THREE ECW guys getting signed to the WWF. Oh, goody! More Metal fodder! Seriously, what the sweet merciful crap is Vince playing at? Does he REALLY need those three guys? And no, I'm not just saying that because I only agree with one of those signings (for those who don't know who we're talking about, it's Justin Credible, Rhino and ~JERRY~ Lynn that Vinnie's laid his hands on, and I'll leave it to you to guess which one is worthwhile). Let's face facts, people-Rhino, Lynn, and Credible were stars in ECW because they couldn't be stars anywhere else. Can you really see the 4'9 Rhino getting over as a badass powerhouse heel, standing next to guys like Kane? Not to mention how his rants about "blood, piss and shit" would be reduced to "claret, peepee and the chocolate hostage". AND none of these guys can use their finishers in this fed (unless they change their name to Jerry Lawler, of course). Personally, I cannot see any of these guys finding their place in the WWF at any point in the near future. I mean, I assume that Vince will at least use some common sense and hold off their debuts until after WrestleMania, when they can make an impact without having to fight Too Cool in the opener of the AstroDome show. I've never found Rhino or Credible particularly enthralling with anything they do involving the wrestling business, so I don't know how the WWF plans to change that. Oh well-they did turn Terra Ryzing into the greatest heel of the 90s. ("What? Ric Flair wrestled as Terra Ryzing?") No, you idiot, my bud Triple H wrestled as Terra Ryzing. ("Oh, right. Doy!") (Are you trying to steal my shtick? - CRZ)

Having said all of this, the signing of these three guys isn't likely to have a massive bearing on the success of the company, or change it's direction or anything. Course, that'd be different down south. So WCW have signed AJ Styles and Air Paris to "boost their Cruiserweight division". Or should that be "To polish Scott Steiner's ego"? Sorry, I couldn't resist. That five-man fiasco that passed for the opener on Monday night was the biggest fucking farce since Pinata On A Pole. Just when it looks like they're heading the right way with these guys (pushing them as resourceful, eager and sneaky tag teams), they go and pull a ridiculous stunt like this. Just what exactly was that supposed to accomplish? Seriously? Okay, I'm challenging ANY WCW fans to click on the email at the bottom of the page and answer me-JUSTIFY THAT MATCH ON LAST MONDAY NIGHT. Please, I need to know. So Chris Benoit wrestled Al Snow this week. OH MY GOD!! SOMEONE CALL THE FEDS!! BENOIT'S BEING ABUSED!! Oh, boo-fucking-hoo. The guy put on the best match with the Snowman Monday on RAW, and all you fricking smarks can do is bitch and moan about how "they haven't got a clue how to book Benoit!" Newsflash, idiots: Benoit's been in the WWF all of a year. His mic skills are not so hot. His ring skills, admittedly, are excellent. But how do you explain to someone like Al Snow, or Hardcore Holly, guys who've worked their asses off for years, that this sawn-off midget from Edmonton is going straight to the top of the card? Or Mizark Henry, the poor guy who's been sitting sweating out Max Minis down at the fat camp? Bottom line is that Benoit is not the complete package right now, meaning he doesn't belong at the top. ("Ohhhhhh!! But he's so good in the ring!!") So enjoy watching him crush the midcarders in superb matches then! What are you, wrestling fans or Benoit's Blowjob Brigade?

At the other end of the scale, Perry Saturn is so totally stinking up the joint right now. He really, truly has no place taking up TV time that could be better used on K-Kwik or Albert (yes, I said Albert). The loon has been getting as lazy as his left eye recently, and after watching him stink up the tag match opener on SmackDown, it's become pretty clear that Saturn can't be bothered any more. Dump him Vince-bring up Eckmo Fatu instead. Now THAT's marketability!

One last quickie note-anyone else REALLY digging Haku kicking ass and taking names in the WWF? No? Okay, forget I mentioned it. (Bastards.)

Right, seeing as I'm a lazy schmoe who probably won't get up off his fat ass and dedicate a whole column to it, here are MY official SuperBrawl predictions:

WCW HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH-SCOTT STEINER VS. KEVIN NASH
Feh-not exactly Flair/Steamboat, really, is it?
I'D BET: Bisch's back in charge, so Nash'll go over for no good reason.

JEFF JARRETT VS. DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE
Wow, the possibility of a GOOD match on this card. Must be a msprint.
I'D BET: Jarrett goes over with the aid of an acoustic equalizer.

WINNER KEEPS THE WORD "JR." (AND THE CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE)-REY MISTERIO VS. CHAVO GUERRERO
Whaaa?? Another good match?? Now THIS is what I'm shelling out for on Sunday. This should be a beaut of a match, with lots of solid rasslin' filling out the high spots.
I'D BET: Rey Rey gets another Cruiser title under his belt.

FOR THE COMMISSIONERSHIP-THE CAT VS. LANCE STORM
Oh dear, a lose-lose situation. If Lance wins, we're stuck with a commish devoid of charisma and no face foil for Flair. If Cat wins....well, Lance jobs to the Cat.
I'D BET: Cat will go over, coz he's the Greatest.

WHO'S GOT THE DEADLIEST BULLDOG (AND THE US TITLE) MATCH: DUHSTIN RHODES VS. RICK STEINER
This one ain't official yet, but Douglas is out, I'd wager, and Duhstin seems like the most logical choice to replace him. He's also a face, which makes a nice change.
I'D BET: Rick's catchphrase is very similar to one of Bisch's old sayings, so he'll go over.

TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: CHUCKIE THE EVIL PALUMBO & SEAN "SLIGHTLY SMALLER BUT STILL QUITE BIG POPPA PUMP" O'HAIRE VS. MEAT AND JINDRAK
Wow, a heel vs. heel collision-feel the excitement!
I'D BET: On me taking a leak....and the champs retaining.

KRONI>I VS. TOTALLY CRAP
Oh. Dear. God. No.
I'D BET: On a slow and painful death for Scott Keith while reviewing this.
And Kronik getting the win.

SIX MAN CRUISERWEIGHT THINGY
Eh, I don't even know who's in this, so I'll go out on a limb and say....Crowbar.

THE LAUGHING ERECTION VS. THE WALL
If Wall goes over here, I'm joining the postal service.
I'D BET: Hugh picks up a win to appease those moaning about his push dissolving. You won't stop me, you BASTARDS!

Well, that's me pooped for another few days. Until next time....check out Mr. JF's website for some quality laughs, and remember, keep mailing me with WCW Rationalisations! Thank You! I'll Be Here All Week!