You are here
Guest Columns

Roger Hayden




RAW - May 20
Calgary Saddledome
Calgary, Alberta

Pre-title video package showing clips from last night's PPV, highlighting title changes.

The show begins, appopriately enough, with the Canadian national anthem. Making their way to the ring are the Jr. Heavyweight title holder Lance Storm, the new Tag Team champions Edge and Christian and the head honcho of Canadian Pride, Chris Jericho. Fans are going crazy for them, like they were faces. Y2J begins by talking about how happy he is to be in Canada, where his talent and that of his compatriots can be appreciated. He talks about what a great night it almost was. The tag team belts are around the waists, once again, of E&C and he and Mr. Electricity, Lance Storm, were going to make short work of those two refugees from a Cheech and Chong movie, and not only did Ric Flair stick his nose in our business, but Chris Benoit! Chris Benoit turned his back on his country to rejoin those broken down show ponies. The last time I check three of the Four Horsemen were old men and Benoit's not even ready to wrestle yet. You made a wrong decision, bucko, and we're going to make you pay for it.

Just in time, here comes Benoit, by himself, to a mixture of cheers and boos. He says they are giving Canada a bad name; they're the worst example of Canadian athletes since Ben Johnson. Like I said last night, I'm proud to be a Canadian, but I'm also a Horsemen and that's something you don't turn your back on. Now, it's true that Arn and Dean are retired and Ric is the co-owner of the company, none of them are active wrestlers at the moment. But the Horsemen roster has always been fluid and he's on a mission to rebuld the Horsemen. Jericho asks if this means the return of Paul Roma and Steve McMichael. Benoit says this will be a Horsemen Group for the New Millennium and we won't say who is joining until the time is right. And you'll know soon enough who they are, because they'll be kicking your ass all over the ring. Benoit walks off to his new music.

After the commercial, we're in Flair's office. Ric, Arn, Malenko and Benoit are all there, shaking hands. Flair tells him that as co-owner, he can't show the New Horsemen any favoritism, even though he'll be rooting for them in his heart. Benoit says he knows who the first recruit should be, but doesn't want to discuss it now. IN the background, Stacy is taking notes, with a nasty grin on her face.

Match 1: Shannon Moore vs. Sho Funaki - Moore has shed the Tsunami gimmick and is dressed normally. JR talks about Three-Count and how Hurricane has surpassed that group's achievements and Moore must just be jealous. Moore wins a fairly quick squash with the Viagra Driver.

Backstage, we see the new Unified Champ Steve Austin arriving. Coach tries to ask him about the controversey from last night and he blows right by him.

Match 2: Val Venis vs. Raven - Venis finally breaks his losing streak by beating Raven with the Money Shot, which came after Ivory distracted Raven before he could hit the DDT.

Backstage, we see David Flair and Randy Orton backstage, plotting strategy. E&C come up and start mocking them. Edge says that David will never be 1/100th the wrestler his father was and Christian says that the only way Orton will win a match is with a loaded cast on his arm. The kids ask for a title match and the champs are happy to oblige.

After the commercial, we see Torrie introducing Tajiri to "her family." While this is going on, Lance Storm takes the opportunity to jump Tajiri and whack his knee with a chair.

Match 3: Jr. Title - Storm vs. Tajiri - Tajiri limps to the ring, selling the knee. He actually dominates the match, even with a bum wheel. During the match, one of the crew runs out and gives a note to Torrie. She runs off backstage. Tajiri is stunned by Torrie's exit, making him victim to a Storm superkick. Lance applies the Maple Leaf and Tajiri submits.

Backstage, we see where Torrie went. She rushes into her dressing room, to find her parents sitting comfortably on a couch. She is hysterical, saying someone sent her a note saying her mother had collapsed backstage. They are fine and this just must be some kind of sick joke, JR says.

Top of the hour, here comes Steve Austin. He doesn't want to hear anything about a tainted win. On cue, here come Paul Heyman and Kurt Angle. They show the clip from the PPV, with the simultaneous wins by Austin and Angle on UT and HHH, respectively. Angle says that anyone can see he made HHH tap before the three count on UT. He deserves to be Champion. At the very least, he should have one of the two titles. Austin laughs and says if he wants them, he can come get them. Heyman stops Angle and says that it isn't the right time or place.

Match 4: Tag Titles - E&C vs. David Flair/Randy Orton - The kids put up a good fight, but they fall short. The champs win when they hit the stacked-up superplex on Orton.

Backstage, we see Trish Stratus with a new, shorter haircut. We show a clip from the PPV and see how Molly tried to make Trish bald. She can't believe she would stoop to something so low. But if that's the way she wants it, she can be just as dirty.

After the commercial, we're in the Canadians' locker room when Arn comes in. He tells Jericho that he'll be fighting William Regal in the main event tonight for the TV title. Jericho nods and says that after the match, we'll have all the gold, just the way the Horsemen used to (pause) In the Old Days.

Match 5: Eddy/Chavo/Misterio vs. Kidman/Hollys - A fast-paced little match. Misterio gets the win (after the job often lately) on Kidman with the Dragoncanrana.

Match 6: Brock Lesnar vs. Shawn Stasiak - This is just ugly and short. Lesnar wins with the Backdrop Driver.

After the match, Coach interviews the Hardys. They are disappointed about losing at the PPV, but are more concerned about Lita. After the spike piledriver by Molly and Jazz, she had to have neck surgery and will be out for almost a year. They just don't feel like wrestling right now.

Match 7: TV Title - Regal vs. Jericho - Before the match, Flair rules that no one will be at ringside for the match. This is a good stiff match. Jericho puts Regal in the Walls, but Regal reverses it into the Regal Stretch. Jericho almost reaches the ropes, but doesn't get there and taps out. After the match, Regal throws Jericho out of the ring. As he's fuming on the floor, Benoit walks out from the back and tells Jericho he's just been beaten by the newest member of the Four Horsemen. In the ring, Regal holds up the four fingers. So does Benoit. Jericho curses and slams the mat.

Smackdown - May 23
Northlands Coliseum
Edmonton, Alberta

The show begins with the PPV recap, along with a clip from Austin/Angle on Raw.

Match 1: Rikishi vs. Mark Henry - Before the match, we show a clip from last week's show when Rikishi got jumped and the "Hogan Twins" winning at the PPV. Rikishi gets his revenge here, hitting the Banzai Drop and then giving Henry the stink face.

After the match, we go backstage with Vince congratulating X-Pac on his winning the IC title. X-Pac says it's all thanks to their new main man, Leviathan. Vince proclaims him a monster and he can't wait to see him in the ring tonight. Nash says this is just the start of the new N.W.O.

After the commercial, Marc Lloyd interviews Molly Holly and Michael Hayes. They show a clip from the PPV where Molly attacked Trish. Hayes puts over the infamous Freebird Hair Cream. Molly says that Trish got what she deserved and when I'm done, that bleached-blonde bimbo will look even worse.

Match 2: Molly vs. Jackie - Hayes comes to ringside with Molly. Molly wins with the Super Huracanrana. After the match, Hayes holds Jackie down and Molly cuts off Jackie's blond-streaked pony tail. Cole is appalled and Tazz is laughing hysterically.

Match 3: Big Show vs. Goldust - Show is still in his Hulkster outfit. Tazz says he feels 10 years younger watching this match. Show wins with the big boot and the legdrop of doom.

Backstage, we're in the fractious Dudley locker room. They are supposed to wrestle the APA tonight, but neither D-Von nor Bubba want to team with each other. Vince and Bossman come in and say that if they don't wrestle tonight, then they'll be suspended.

Match 4: APA vs. Dudleys - The Dudleys actually come out separately. Needless to say, this is an ugly match. D-Von refuses to tag Bubba in, even when he's getting killed. Simmons gets the win with the Dominator, with Bubba never coming in the match. Afterwards, they brawl to the back.

Top of the hour, here comes HHH. He's not going to whine about the title match. He got beat and that's that. Now that he's on Smackdown, there's something he wants to focus his attention on for now and that's the N.W.O. He knows all about cliques here in this company (Hey Shawn, how ya doin?), as he was part of one before. Now, we have Nash and X-Pac and this new behemoth. But they aren't going to run roughshod over Smackdown. Out come the N.W.O. Nash makes fun of Hunter, saying he's probably still mad about the MSG incident and getting buried while he and Scott went to WCW. HHH says that's ancient history and from looking at that dye job, really ancient history, old man. Nash says that the N.W.O. is more than happy to kick his ass tonight. Find a partner and we'll see you in the ring.

After the commercial, they show the clip from the PPV of Tazz beating Snow in the interview area for the Hardcore title.

Match 5: Maven vs. Justin Credible - Justin wins with the spinning tombstone. During the match, Tazz is talking about being Hardcore champ and how it's about time he got some props. After the match, we cut to the announce table and see a guy wearing a holding a sign that says "Tazz got lucky." Cole points out the sign and Tazz turns around and gets in the guy's face. The guy then hits Tazz with the sign and there's a huge thwap. Tazz goes down. The guy jumps the rail (!) and tries to pin him, but security holds him back. Tazz gets up and runs off. Suddenly, the guy pulls off his mask and it's Stevie Richards.

After the commercial, we see Tazz in Vince's office. He asks Vince how he is supposed to do his job with that stupid 24/7 rule in effect. Vince says that's Tazz's problem, not his. And he better leave now, before the Bossman decides he wants the title again. Bossman pounds the nightstick into his glove and Tazz takes off.

Match 6: Rob Van Dam vs. Rico Constantino - Rico puts on a good show, but Van Dam gets the pin with the Frog Splash.

Backstage, Vince confers with the N.W.O. Are they worried about who HHH will pick as his partner? Well, Vince says it won't be Hogan, as he's off filming a new commercial. Nash doesn't care who it is, because they have something up their sleeve.

Match 7: European title - D-Lo vs. Booker - Booker gets overconfident, allowing D-Lo to sneak out a win when he hits the Sky High out of nowhere.

Backstage, we see HHH's dressing room. Cole and temporary co-host Stevie Richards (who stayed at ringside when Tazz left) speculate as to who HHH's partner might be. Cole says Big Show and Stevie thinks it will be Van Dam.

Match 8: N.W.O. vs. HHH/??? - We keep Nash and Leviathan from standing too close to each other, to prevent people from noticing they neither is as gigantic as people think. HHH is first out. And then, it's breaking glass time. The announcers go crazy. What's Austin doing teaming with HHH? The N.W.O. wig out. Finally, the match starts. Everyone does a good job bumping for the new guy. The end comes when HHH makes the hot tag and Austin pins X-Pac with the Stunner. Everyone is brawling in the ring, when the Kid Rock starts. Here comes the UT down to ringside. Cole says "Oh my God, the Undertaker is joining the N.W.O." But, once in the ring, UT attacks Nash, instead of HHH or Austin. Nash bails out. Leviathan is thrown out of the ring. UT gives X-Pac the Last Ride. Beers for everyone. Even UT drinks. Cole can't believe it. Is there a Super Alliance between HHH, UT and Austin?

Roger Hayden

Mail the Author

Comment about this article in Wienerville



Design copyright © 1999-2002 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications
Guest column text copyright © 2002 by the individual author and used with permission