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EARTH-THREE WRESTLING HIATUS
Whether it's Steve Austin's departure or Vince Russo's arrival or just a
general malaise, these fantasy columns have been more and more of a chore to
write over the last couple weeks. I guess it shows how difficult it actually
is to be one of the writers. Also, the revolving door with talent and front
office maneuverings often of late had made writing difficult, especially
when the columns are generally written ahead of the dates on which
"they occur."
Even in good weeks, I had 3 or 4 great ideas and the rest just made me
scratch my head and go "What do I do with, for example, the N.W.O. this
week, when I really don't care about them? I never had a problem with the
Horsemen and the Canadians or the Jr. Heavyweights, since those are the only
things that can keep my attention in the real WWE right now.
So, until my creative juices return, E3W will go on hiatus. I don't want to
turn out a substandard product and the dozens (I hope) of you who eagerly
read it won't think my brain has gone to pot.
As a parting (for now) gift, here's a tease of what would have happened in
the upcoming weeks.
King Chris Jericho, to the tune of "Who Da King" by Cheap Trick, has
his coronation interrupted by Chris Benoit, leading to another brawl between
the respective teams
Kurt Angle wins the Unified title from the Rock, despite by
double-crosses by Paul Heyman, and turns babyface.
Randy Orton turns on David Flair. After a few weeks, Ace himself will
show up to be in David's corner.
Stacy Kiebler will turn on the Horsemen and join Canadian Pride. She
reveals although she is from Baltimore, she was actually conceived in Canada
when her parents went to Niagra Falls on their honeymoon.
The Fourth Horsemen is finally announced and it's the unretired Dean
Malenko. This comes after numerous outnumbered attacks by the Canadians.
The feud culminates at the Great American Bash in a War Games match
between the two teams and the wrestler who loses the fall must leave the
WWE. The Canadians go over and Eddy Guerrero is pinned. (This leads to an
angle where Eddy returns as Black Tiger. This in turn will lead to the
beginnings of our international talent exchange, where Silver King comes to
the WWE as the other Black Tiger to team with Eddy.)
Shawn Michaels returns and joins with Kevin Nash and HHH to form the New
Model Army to feud with the Group of Death.
Charles Wright, due to his concussion, changes back and forth to his
previous gimmicks, Papa Shango, Kama, Godfather and Goodfather. Strictly for
comedy's sake.
The not-so-shocking return of Stephanie McMahon. However, she swerves
joining the Group of Death and reunites with HHH in the New Model Army.
The seeds are sown in July for Summerslam, which will be Angle vs.
Jericho. Also, we being the inaugural "Vince McMahon Sr. Tag Team
Tournament" cup, the finals of which will be at Summerslam. And yes, we
will be bringing in people from all over the world, including CMLL, All
Japan and Toryumon.
That's just a sampling of what will be and what could have been. Hopefully,
in the next few weeks, I again find my muse (since I don't have one tied up
in my attic) and will be back to provide you with a more entertaining
alternative to the WWE product.
Thanks to all those who emailed over the last few months. And thanks to Rick
and CRZ for running the column; hopefully, they'll do so again when it
comes back.
The Psycho Pirate
E3W
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