Guest Columns | Roger Hayden |
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FANTASY BOOKING
April 15, 2002 - RAW We begin with a recap of last week's show, highlighted by the reformation of the Dangerous Alliance and the punking out of Steve Austin. JR promises an angry Rattlesnake tonight. Match 1: Tournament Semi-Final: Tajiri vs. Hurricane. Before the match, we show the attack by the mystery man last week. A high-flying match ends with Tajiri using a dragon suplex for the win. Lawler wonders if Hurricane was distracted. After the match, we see Edge and the Hardys. Matt is still livid about what Rico did on Smackdown. He wants a match with the champs tonight. Jeff says he'll take care of everything, but calm down. Jericho comes walking by and makes fun of Matt. Edge makes some jokes about how Jericho dresses. Some more banter and they agree to a match later in the show. Back from commercial, Lillian interviews Hurricane. She asks about his match and whether he was 100% concentrating on his match. He admits that he wasn't. Suddenly, the masked man appears from off-camera and attacks Hurricane in front of the telltale cyclone fence. He grabs the mic from Lillian and says, "Will you never learn, Hurricane? BWAH-HA-HA-HA!" and runs off. JR gives a "what the?" Match 2: Tournament Semi-Final. Kidman vs. Chavo. Chavo goes over, after actually successfully power-bombing Kidman. In fact, he used Eddy's old Black Tiger bomb. In the back, Flair agrees to have the Hardys wrestle Billy and Chuck in a non-title match. Rico comes in to protest, but Flair just destroys him on the mic. The camera pans over to Stacy and she's smirking and trying to keep from laughing. Match 3: Billy and Chuck vs. Hardys. The Hardys have the champs on the ropes, when Christian and Lance Storm interfere for the DQ. All four heels kill the Hardys. Back from commercial, Flair is livid in the back. He can't make the champs defend against the Hardys at Backlash, but he can have the Hardys fight Storm and Christian at the PPV. Match 4: Eddy vs. Raven. Eddy wins again with the Brainbuster. JR pushes what great shape Eddy has gotten himself into. Top of the hour, out comes Paul Heyman and the Alliance. Heyman gives us the history of the Alliance, saying Kurt Angle is the new Steve Austin, Val Venis is the new Rick Rude and the Minnesota Stretching Crew are his tag team. All that's missing is his new Madusa. From behind the ramp comes Terri. But she gets about two feet and Heyman stops her. "What are you doing, little girl?" Terri says she's always admired Heyman, even when they were in WCW ten years ago. Heyman says he needs someone who can handle themselves in the ring. While Terri is talking, Ivory comes out and sucker punches Terri, putting the boots to her. Heyman applauds and invites Ivory to come to the ring and complete his stable. But then, there's the breaking glass. Austin stands on the ramp and rips into Heyman, with lots of generous bleeping. He challenges anyone in the Alliance to a match tonight, preferably that Olympic piece of crap, Angle. Heyman says he'll decide later who it will be. After the break, Flair tries to calm Austin down. Fat lot of good that will do. Flair says he knows Heyman and there'll be some kind of double-cross. Austin doesn't care. Flair promises to make things right. Match 5: Kane vs. Regal - Quick squash as Kane goes over easy. Regal again doesn't cheat. Lawler asks what's wrong with Regal. Ross doesn't know. Match 6: Edge vs. Jericho - We give this like 10-12 minutes. Edge has Jericho beat when Christian and Storm run-in. Following quickly on their heels are the Hardys. There's a pier-six brawl in the ring. The brawl continues into the commercial. After the break, JR announces the tag match for Backlash is now a six-man match with Edge and the Hardys vs. Jericho, Storm and Christian. IN the dressing room of the Alliance, Heyman discusses strategy with his troops. It's next! Match 7: Austin vs. Val Venis. JR says Heyman doesn't have the guts to put Angle in the ring with Austin. Lawler says Angle's a champion and deserves more respect. Austin makes quick work of Venis, giving him the Stunner. After the match, Flair comes to ringside and announces that Angle will fight Austin at Backlash.
SMACKDOWN -- April 18 We begin in Vince's office. Nash has his arm in a sling. Vince holds up the x-rays and announces Nash's injury. They all curse the Rock. Vince promises the N.W.O. can get their revenge tonight. Match 1: Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Hugh Morrus - AL wins with the Snow Plow. Tommy Dreamer runs down to get the cheap win, but Snow runs him off. Cole asks why Maven didn't come down to help his mentor. Tazz says this business is every man for himself, especially when it concerns the Hardcore title. After the commercial, Sharmell interviews Molly. She defends her actions from last week, saying she's all natural, just like god made her, not some Beverly Hills doctor. She looks Sharmell up and down and wonders how much surgery she has had done. Match 2: Six-man match: Dudleys vs. Goldust/Hennig/Bossman. Cole asks what year this is, 2002 or 1992? Dudleys again have communication problems, but Spike manages to get the win, with the Acid Drop on Hennig. Backstage, Lita is on the phone with Matt. She wished they could have won the titles on RAW, but it was better than nothing. Jazz comes up and tells her not to cry like some little schoolgirl. They have a pull-apart. After the commercial, we see UT in the back with Vince, thanking him for the title match. He knows that Vince respects him. Vince says if there's something HHH doesn't know, it's respect, the way he treated his daughter. Match 3: IC Match: Rob Van Dam vs. DDP. Van Dam wins with the Frog Splash. As he's celebrating, out runs the returning Mark Henry. He tosses Van Dam around the ring. Then, when Van Dam is dead on the mat, out comes Booker T. "Hey, Van Dam, meet my new homey - The World's Strongest Man. Can you dig it, Sucka?" After the match, we see Vince's office and in comes David Flair. Vince apologizes for his behavior last week. Flair nods. He says, to make it up to him, he'll get a match, tonight, on Smackdown. Flair asks against whom, but Vince says that doesn't matter. Top of the hour, out comes the Hulkster. He apologizes to the Rock for not being here last week. And he understands why the Rock isn't here tonight, as he's busy getting ready for the Scorpion King opening "tomorrow." He knows all about the pressures of Hollywood, since he's Hollywood Hulk Hogan. Cue the N.W.O. Music. They challenge Hogan and Rock to a match at Backlash. Hogan says he'll be happy to accept the match. And tonight, he's ready to take on Hall or X-Pac. They say that won't be necessary. They want a piece of HHH tonight instead. Cue to the video wall and HHH accepts a match with X-Pac tonight. Match 4: Women's Title: Jazz vs. Lita. Jazz gets DQ'ed for clocking Lita with the belt. Molly runs down to make it two-on-one, but Trish soon evens the odds. After the commercial, Vince announces a Fatal Four-Way for the Women's Title at Backlash: Jazz defends against Trish, Molly and Lita. Match 5: David Flair vs. ??? As David waits in the ring, Tazz says the kid shouldn't even be in the ring. Hit the music, It's the Undertaker. He just destroys Flair, finally pinning him with the Last Ride. Vince comes on the Titantron after the match and says that's nothing. In the back, we see DDP and Hennig talking. They agree to team up, hoping to turn their luck around. Match 6: APA vs. Big Show/Rikishi - APA goes over in a short match. Rikishi takes the spin bump off the Lariat for the pin. We cut to the back and see that Rico has redecorated the APA offices, adding some curtains to the drop and tablecloth to the poker table. Ron Simmons says, "Damn!" Backstage, X-Pac twirls the sticks. Nash says "Slow down, Mr. Miyagi." (Kev, enough with the dated references.) Meanwhile, HHH tapes up the fists. The main event is next. Match 7: HHH vs. X-Pac. Waltman takes lots of bumps here. Nash and Hall gratuitously interfere at ringside. Finally, Hogan comes out to even the odds. Nash runs off, leaving Hogan to pummel Hall. IN the ring, HHH makes Waltman submit to the figure four. After the match, Hogan and HHH pose in the ring. So, at Backlash, we have:
HHH vs. UT for the Unified Titles
Eddy vs. Regal
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