Jim Ross, Jr.
JIM ROSS, JR. REPORT
October 29, 2001 - Casually Late
After 3 days of being under the weather, Good Ol' J.R., Jr deviates from the norm this week by rambling semi-coherently about the latest happenings in the World Wrestling Federation.
I really don't know what to say exactly about the direction the Federation is going in by the looks of TV this past week. I thought Raw took a turn for the worst and Smackdown was slightly better only because it featured better in-ring action. I was really at a "crosswoods" (TM, Bret Hart, 1999) this week concerning content for this column. Then, while I was lying in bed Thursday night I came to the realization that the Sooners were in over their head with Nebraska. And by god, they were. Content for the column, however, was nowhere to be found. I'm writing this stuff on the fly!
I received no arguments whatsover about my description of Big Show. The man is without a shadow of a doubt, an ox. A 483 lbs. ox, thank you very much.
Chris Jericho's title win dedication to his former boss was a bit immature from where I sit. I don't understand the point of taking a cheapshot at a guy who is done with the business. This hack will never be successful in the wrestling business again. He just doesn't have the resources. So why even acknowledge him? Yeah, he screwed you over by playing hardball with you when you refused to re-up your contract, but Chris Jericho showed him by making a bigger impact in the WWF within your first six months than in three years in WCW. Chris Jericho was a star in WCW, but in the WWF he was given the opportunity to become an even bigger star. And by god, Chris Jericho has done just that. The success Chris Jericho has had in the last two years in my view is a big enough "F-you and shove it up your ass" he can give to his former boss in the old WCW. Actions speak louder than words.
You can't have enough McMahons on television. The McMahon family is quite possibly the greatest dysfunctional family in the history of modern television. However, I believe the drawing power of all four McMahon family members has been sabatoged due to overexposure, so, it might be wise to introduce the missing members of the McMahon family. Expect Vince's evil brother who lives in Texas to make his debut any week now. A possible Steve Austin connection is a possibility.
Sex with Torrie Wilson is probably quite delightful.
Randy Orton impressed many with his work this past week. He's a blue-chipper from what I hear.
As of this week, I have given up on the cruiserweight/lightheavyweight division being presented seriously. It's one step away from the women's division if you ask me.
Tazz, is on the receiving end of quite possibly the greatest burial of a talent I have ever seen. A poor attitude backstage is often cited as the reason why. Maybe if "Webster" takes the advice he gave the contests of Tough Enough he won't be doing jobs left and right, and being portrayed as Stone Cold's whipping boy.
And I can't talk burial without mentioning the Dusty Rhodes of the new millennium, Diamond Dallas Page. Usually talent are given their heat back at the next TV, but that isn't the case with DDP. Congratulations on writing your own sports entertainment death, Page.
I can't forget to mention Perry Saturn. The man who has serious sexual relationships with mops. That boy is six feet under.
Or Terri, who was dumped in favor of a mop. She's gone down enough times as it is.
Chris Kanyon is being featured on Jakked/Metal and Sunday Night Heat, not because of any problems backstage, but because the writers are absolutely clueless on how to develop a successful character for him. If Kanyon can be utilized better, it's a plus in my book.
Am I the only one who sees Michael Cole for what he is? Other than his last name being an inside joke (note: Michael Cole is NOT his real name), he is quite possibly the worst announcer this side of Todd Pettengill. If anything, he's a mirror image of what Vince McMahon was when he did commentary. Vince didn't know the names of holds, wasn't authentic with his emotions, and wasn't very knowledgeable when it came to the the wrestlers' background. This is what Vince looks for when he hires people for a commentary position. He looks for himself, in a way. If anybody deserves Cole's position as the play-by-play man for Smackdown, it's none other than Good Ol' J.R., Jr. I know the names of the moves and holds, dammit!
Nebraska used my Sooners own trick play (double reverse) to slam the door shut on them this past Saturday in Lincoln. Eric Crouch probably has the Heisman trophy in his back pocket after his performance Saturday, but I'm hopeful for a rematch with the Husters sometime down the road. Revenge is a dish best served cold.
Raw tonight comes to you live from Jim Cornette's own backyard in Louisville, KY. The main event is a sure-fire ratings grabber in Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon in a street fight. Not a Greenwich streetfight, but a plain old fashion street fight. I'm guessing this will be used as a vehicle for the Alliance to get their heat back considering their asses were handed to them last week.
I've been chugging my own steak sauce to help suppress my cold. It hasn't worked any, but what the hell?
I swear on my mama's grave I'll be back Friday.