You are here
Guest Columns

Jim Ross, Jr.



November 9, 2001

A personal computer... a stolen OU Sooners helmet... and no idea what to write. It can only be one man... Jim Ross, Jr.

Late last Friday night I was lying in bed flipping around the television and I came across Howard Stern's E! Show. He had Busta Rhymes as a guest. Also, two guys who were going to eat chocolate out of the ass of Jackie Martling. Funny thing is one of the guys was named "Hoss" and he was wearing a Green Lantern t-shirt. I wouldn't dare make such a thing up.

Who didn't enjoy TV this week? I thought The Rock-Chris Jericho rematch for the WCW championship was a great way to cap off a terrific edition of Raw. Vince McMahon's mind games with the Alliance have made for some entertaining television. On Smackdown, Vince made the decision to take himself out of the main event for Survivor Series. It's a very unselfish one at that. Nobody wants to be on the front line as much as Vince, but he made a great move in replacing himself with a rejuvenated Big Show. This ox looks poised to take names and kick some Alliance ass at Survivor Series.

Which is the more intriguing character? A.) Steve Austin's watch. B.) Debra Rattlesnake's cookies C.) Kurt Angle's gold medals. D.) The Dudley Boyz.

I figured somewhere in this column I would mention Survivor Series and talk about some of the matches scheduled for the annual extravaganza, but it's kinda hard to when there's only one match signed. Really, since the main event is supposedly the be all and end all for either the World Wrestling Federation or the WCW/ECW Alliance what would be the purpose of holding other matches? I'm sure Edge vs. Test for the Intercontinental championship would be signed for the Pay-Per-View, but other than that, what else is planned?

The new tag team of Billy Gunn and Chuck Palumbo should be an adventure to follow. Hopefully "The One" could be a helpful mentor to Palumbo. I would be remissed if I didn't mention that Billy celebrated his 39th birthday last week. Happy belated birthday, you old goat.

I know I'm risking myself of sounding like Georgie of the Chatterbox, but "Y2J" Chris Jericho is celebrating his 31st birthday today. Jericho's reign with the WCW championship was doomed for failure from the beginning. The Stephanie run-in at No Mercy lead to nothing storyline-wise and that there told me this would be a short-term reign for Y2J. Folks, you can't keep a good man down though and in my book, Chris Jericho is just that.

Rikishi, a helluva hoss by god, is a couple weeks away from making his return to the ring. A trip to HWA to gain his timing back is in the cards. The big Samoan has managed to trim his large frame quite significantly. He's still not at that ideal 350 lbs. mark that he's best suited for.

Look for The Game to make his return during the main event of Survivor Series. But who's side will he be on?

While watching some of my comps of the Rabid Wolverine, Chris Benoit, I came across a japanese fellow I really took great interest in. His name is Shinya Hosshimoto. Okay, it's really Hashimoto, but the guy is a hoss and a half if you ask me. If this man ever wants to play in the big leagues he'll be a welcomed addition to the Federation roster. Of course, like with all our asian imports, knowledge of the english language is a valuable asset.

The decrease in exposure of the McMahon family is the right decision at this time. While the McMahons are a valuable asset, you can sometimes water-down the act. It's time for some of the members to take a step back and recharge their batteries for when they are needed again. Essentially, a week without them playing a prominent role should be good enough.

I forgot who the WWF Lightheavyweight champion is. I just found out last night Tajiri was the Cruiserweight champion.

Besides Vince's evil brother, look for Esther Mae McMahon (Vince's distant cousin) to make her debut any week now. Esther is homeless and is looking for a piece of the McMahon family pie. If you guessed a Shane McMahon connection to this story you're ahead of the curve.

I don't like the Washington Redskins chances against the Bye this week. I'm willing to give anybody the 'Skins and seven points.

I must admit this Okie sometimes sits back in the easy chair and think about the dumbest things imaginable when it comes to this industry. Like the other day, I was thinking about the drivel about how The Rock brought prestige to the WCW Championship "like Ric Flair and Ricky Steamboat." I seriously wonder what WCW fans thought of this. Jim Ross acts as if Flair and Steamboat were the only great champions that promotion produced. And you know Michael Cole and the other B-teamers are going to repeat the same line because "J.R. knows best." To me, at least, I perceived it as WWF ignoring the majority of WCW's past and possibly stretching with the comparison of The Rock to Flair and Steamboat. The Rock is a sports entertainer. He's gold on the mic. Ric Flair was entertaining on the mic, but was a wrestler in the ring. Steamboat was a wrestler through and through. In interviews, Flair and Steamboat always stated they were wrestlers. The Rock has never stated he's a wrestler. WCW fans are wrestling fans who like wrestling and very little BS. I understand the Federation's intention by trying to "re-establish" the WCW Championship, but I don't think The Rock winning the title went over well with WCW fans.

I want to expand on that comment about B-Team announcers repeating what J.R. says in his commentary. Take Rob Van Dam for example. J.R. noted in his commentary that Van Dam has an unorthodox style and explained why he thought that way. Michael Cole, shortly there after, noted the same thing, only he just threw it out there only not to follow up the statement. This is not the only example of Cole doing this. Just one of several. I mean, at least try to differentiate yourself from my favorite Okie that isn't myself. Even if you mention that Van Dam has a martial arts background, it's better than randomly throwing out "unorthodox style" without explanation. Folks, this is what separates the "A-Team" from the "B-Team."

Just a reminder that steak sauce goes well with damn near everything. I enjoy dousing burgers, ham, eggs, salad, fish, bread, pizza, bananas, and of course, steak with my special secret sauce.

My Sooners this Saturday at home in Norman, have a meeting with Texas A&M. The Aggies are known for playing smash mouth football, and by god, I hope to see a slobberknocker tomorrow. Last year's game was a helluva contest and I have a feeling it will be more of the same tomorrow.

That's my prerogative.

J.R., Jr.
The Best Damn Columnist on the Damn Internet

Mail the Author

Comment about this article on the EZBoard



Design copyright © 1999-2001 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications
Guest column text copyright © 2001 by the individual author and used with permission