You are here
Guest Columns

Jim Ross, Jr.



November 27, 2001

Can you say "weekend bender"? Good Ol' J.R., Jr. sure can. This column hasn't been heavy on my mind at all these past few days. I decided to spend my Thanksgiving holiday with family and friends. It was a great opportunity for me to take a step back and reflect on the more important issues at hand, such as, X-Mas shopping.

What went wrong with InVasion? What didn't? I could list one hundred reasons why this angle flopped. And all would be valid. Honestly, the problem may have lied on the fact that the main focus was on the McMahon family members and not the actual competitors. An actual emphasis on the WCW talent was necessary. Give the fans a reason why they would want to see these guys against the WWF superstars. Those two nights in Tacoma when WCW Title matches closed the show told the story. None of those paying customers wanted to see WCW talent close the show of a WWF event. They weren't given reason to care about Booker T., Buff Bagwell, or Diamond Dallas Page. Linda McMahon supposedly gave them the time for the matches. Wow, that makes WCW look cool. WCW needed to run roughshod over the WWF and actually look dominant, but it never happened. I think I just answered the question myself. WCW didn't appear cool. And who wants to get behind a dork? Ask Kurt Angle about that.

My Sooners are bad. Bad boys. I lost a lot of money on that interstate game over the weekend. Toilet Bowl here we come!

Supposedly a new direction took place this past Monday when Nature Boy Ric Flair showed up and announced that he and Vince McMahon were partners. I'm a big fan of the legendary Ric Flair, but is this really anything new and exciting? It appears to be nothing more than another version of the talking heads. What's the difference between part WWF owner Ric Flair and Comissioner Mick Foley? Folks, I hate to dampen the parade, but the wheel isn't be reinvented, you know. However, I can't deny that Ric Flair's return to the WWF made for some great televison viewing. Nobody can spike a rating like the Nature Boy.

Jerry Lawler's return to Raw was handled very well, in my opinion. The same can be said for Paul Heyman's exit. It made for some very entertaining television. The King and Good Ol' J.R. are like bread and butter. Peanut butter and jelly. Donuts and coffee. Pretzels and beer. Steak sauce and damn near everything. They just go together no questions asked. It's nice to see that Lawler spent his time away from the announce table by dropping nearly 30 lbs. No doubt that's going to help in the long run.

I feel badly for the Alliance members who were on the losing end of this "clash of the titans." Well, maybe except Diamond Dallas Page. Some of these people are probably questioning their job security and with good reason. I'm sure Steven Richards is probably sitting on his couch and pondering his future. He's probably asking himself, "How can I be an asset to the WWF?" and he's probably got very few answers. The chickenshit heel manager role only goes so far. If you overdue the act, it becomes cliched and then borders self parody. A viable promotion that has a plan to turn a profit doesn't seem to be on the horizon. Of course, a quality television time slot seems to be key. I just hope talent like Tommy Dreamer is capable of flipping burgers.

Ron "H2Oman" Waterman, Rico Constantino, Randy Orton, and Brock Lesnar continue to work Federation live events. They continue to receive "boring" chants from the paying customers. That Lesnar sure is a stud though.

I can't watch any of the weekend programming without making a run to the bathroom to hurl. The chemistry between Trish Stratus and Jonathan Coachman on Excess is nonexistant. The format for that show is questionable as well. Metal with Coachman and Kevin Kelly is unintentional comedy at its finest. Neither one of these guys know a wristlock from a wristwatch. All they do is talk about the storylines on Raw and chit chat about the dumbest shit possible. Trust me folks, Good Ol' J.R., Jr. is the real deal. I am a wrestling announcer, dammit!

I watched Raw last night and I still don't know what I saw. I can see why people such as Paul Heyman and Triple H would be questioning Vince McMahon's booking decisions. Homosexual references? Bra & Panties matches? People urinating on people? People kissing Vince's ass? Dialogue consisting of deer antlers probing Vince's ass? All of this in one 2 hour show. Is this sports entertainment? Is this what the people want? I know Vince had it rough growing up. I believe his step-father abused him, and because of that, he's a sexual deviant. However, those feelings and thoughts need to be shared with a psychiatrist and not the viewing audience. On most nights, Lance Storm would have had the most humiliating position on the show, but not on this night. Lets all do ourselves a favor and never utter a word about this show (11-26-01 Raw) ever again.

There is a silver lining to all this... Test is a hoss. 'Cause Good Ol' J.R. SAID SO!

That's my prerogative.

J.R., Jr.
The Best Damn Columnist on the Damn Internet

Mail the Author

Comment about this article on the EZBoard



Design copyright © 1999-2001 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications
Guest column text copyright © 2001 by the individual author and used with permission