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Jim Ross, Jr.



December 14, 2001

Good Ol' J.R., Jr. is back to address a lot of topics like only the steak sauce promoting Okie can.

A lot of people are talking about Triple H this week. Most of these people are claiming the Federation falsely advertised that Triple H would return at Vengeance. Folks, not once did the Federation promote a Triple H return at Vengeance. The local cable ad with Triple H in it was produced months ago. Notice that ad wasn't used during any Federation telecasts. I know I promised a Triple H run-in during the main event, but like last month it didn't happen. Shit happens. Accept it and move on.

Pardon my French, but what the fuck is a Hip Hop Hippo? So, Albert is no longer a hoss, but a hippo. That, I can deal with. And apparently he shares a love of Hip Hop music with Scotty 2 Hotty. I'm rather indifferent to that. To top it all off, their team name is the "Zoo Crew." I guess if you're a comedy tag team you might as well go all the way. Anyway, I say file this under "Lame Crap" and never will I speak about it again.

I loved the promo Chris Jericho cut on Raw. His character has experienced a tremendous makeover and it really has benefitted him. The cage match against Stone Cold, on the otherhand, wasn't at the level he needs to be performing at. Jericho needs to deliver an outstanding in-ring performance every chance he gets if he wants to prove his worth as champion.

The trials and tribulations of the Hardy Boyz and Lita is rather unique. How appropriate considering the alternative lifestyles those three happen to live.

Forget the Oregon Ducks and the "cancer" that is the BCS. Good lord that was a dumbass comment if I heard one. I highly suggest Oregon's head coach to at least specify which kind of cancer he's talking about. Then you'll only be offending a smaller sector of people. The real travesty of justice though is that the defending national champs will be stuck at the Cotton Bowl facing off with the Razorbacks of the University of Arkansas. From where I sit, this should be a walk in the park for my Sooners.

Seems like Stacy Keibler is hellbent on becoming one of Howard Stern's favorite broads. Howard has gone on record as saying she is one of the most beautiful women he has ever seen.

Fortunately, my fascination with Vince McMahon's Ass is all over with. I'm now fantasizing about Jaime Pressly nude in a tub of my steak sauce.

While it's great to hear about Dean Malenko giving back to the business by helping out the talent at HWA, it's a shame he's not on the active Federation roster. I think Raw, Smackdown, and the Pay-Per-Views would only be more enjoyable if Dean was in the ring.

I don't understand the talk that's being thrown around about supposed "hazing" in the Federation locker room. I'm reading a lot of reports like this is a breaking story and it must be stopped. Folks, this has been going on for years now. There's nothing "new" about it, so why it's being addressed is beyound me. I mean, don't confuse "hazing" with "fun." A lot of the superstars have football and college backgrounds and the "fraternity initiation" is a tradition they have decided to carry over to the Federation. If anything, it brings the locker room a little closer together. Uncomfortable situations will only be experienced by new comers who are being initiated. From where I sit, I would rather be ball gagged and stripped of my clothes by force, so when the day comes when I accidently drop the soap in the shower nothing comes of it.

Can anyone explain the reasoning behind Vince McMahon all of a sudden backing Booker T? Why are these two all of a sudden buddy-buddy? I thought Vince was all about exterminating the Alliance and all of its members. This reminds me of the friendship between Shane McMahon and Chris Benoit. And Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley and Kurt Angle. Or a McMahon family member and a half dozen other members of the Federation roster. The entire family is a bunch of sluts. Call me old school, but it would be nice to see a rulebreaker in some way, shape, or form not aligned with an evil McMahon family member.

I read that Larry "Master of the Seven Minute Stall" Zybsyko is crowing about Chris Jericho calling himself a "Living Legend." From what I've read, it seems like Zybysko believes he's the only one entitled to such a nickname. Face it Larry, you're time has come and gone. Just hit the links (as in the golf course) and don't worry about it. Vince McMahon has to promote new stars. He doesn't give a rat's ass what your "legacy" was.

This past Wednesday I filmed my very own "My Sacrifice" video. Just a single shot of me pigging out on burgers which were covered with my cherished steak sauce. Yes, my "Desire" just happens to be eating lots of food. I hope to have this hot diddy up on eBay once the holiday craze ends.

Spike Dudley is the ultimate punching bag, from where I sit. This young man took a hellacious beating from Undertaker on Raw Monday night. That chokeslam to the arena floor was sickening as Spike hitting the ground made a tremendous thud. However, somewhere in America, I heard a smartass couch potato sitting there thinking to himself, "Oh he knows how to fall. That couldn't have hurt at all!" Well, tell me asswipe, how do you fall from 10 feet to the ground unprotected? Tell that to Spike who's suffered numerous concussions in his career. He's suffered a broken his leg and blown out his knee. Spike has made tremendous sacrifices for this business and he doesn't deserve to hear lines of BS such as that.

I assumed Jim Ross' pet nickname for 'Taker was "Booker Red." I swear that's what J.R. said. However, I was proved wrong during the broadcast of Vengeance. I acutally heard my favorite Okie besides myself call 'Taker "Booger Red." How can I explain this? Honestly, I can't. There is no explanation even though one is needed. This is definitely a story worth looking into, if you will.

I don't know about any of you, but I would like a little explanation behind the teaming of participants for main event tag matches. Exactly when did Undertaker and Chris Jericho become chummy? What's the reasoning behind their teaming? Why is Rob Van Dam and The Rock teaming for that matter? Oh you can say they have mutual enemies, but you gotta think about the past. Not that long ago, RVD was challenging The Rock for his WCW Championship. I don't remember these two kissing and making up. Am I supposed to assume that all fan favorites hang out together at the fan favorite diner and eat fan favorite steak & drink fan favorite Pepsi Twist? Do all rulebreakers sit around at the local watering hole downing rulebreaker beer & munching rulebreaker beer nuts? In my opinion, you can chalk it up to lazy booking.

That's my prerogative.

J.R., Jr.
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